Love Hina Ronin Rescue
by SlippyTheWeasel
Summary: The police find out what's going on at Hinata-sou. The police officer is female, AND a childhood friend of Keitaro! What if the girls were kicked out and a restraining order slapped on them? Chapter 14 added 12 May 09
1. Chapter 1 A Man, a Bathhouse, and a Baby

I don't own Love Hina. Wish I did. Ken does. I'm just along for the ride.

**Love Hina – Ronin Rescue**

**Fanfic **

**Chapter One – A Man, a Bathhouse, and a Baby??**

(AN: had a problem with a chapter uploading correctly, so I had to delete and reload the story. Apologies to anyone who linked or reviewed it already. Slippy)

It is Monday morning. Keitaro sits alone in the dining room finishing his breakfast, looking out the windows. _(Well, what am I going to do today?)_ he thinks dejectedly.

Getting up, he clears the table of cups and plates, and takes the dishes to the kitchen and washes them, placing them carefully back onto the shelves. He walks slowly to the entrance of the Inn.

Stepping outside, he smiles. Haruka has dropped-off a bag of groceries again. (_I really should thank her for doing this, it's not like I don't have enough money to buy whatever we need. Heck, I've got more than enough money. Granny made sure of that with the bank account she signed over.)_ He looks around to see if he can spot his aunt, but Haruka already has gone back down the hill to open the Tea Shop. _(I'll talk to her later, after I get today's work done.)_

Picking up the bag, he takes it to the kitchen, places it on the table and starts putting the items away. He puts vegetables, formula and meat in the refrigerator; dry goods in the cabinets; extra diapers and baby food on the counter. Sighing, he decides to take a stroll through the dorm before starting his daily maintenance routine.

Walking through the inn, Keitaro slowly runs his hand along the walls. Softly, like memories, he remembers. Voices everywhere; sometimes quiet; sometimes loud; sometimes crying; sometimes angry; mostly laughing; and always the same. Voices like angels surrounding him. Angels he had sworn to protect. And failed.

Stopping at his room, he picks up his sketchbook without thinking, and flips through the pages. Keitaro's heart breaks as he sees them; Naru, Motoko, Kitsune, Shinobu, Su, and Mutsumi. His fingers lightly touch each of their faces.

Setting the book carefully on the table, Keitaro sits back and sighs. "Why did it have to happen this way?"

Yasumiko, drying her hair, comes to his door when she hears he is blaming himself again. Stepping in, she kneels behind Keitaro, wrapping her arms around his chest, comforting him; "Keitaro-kun, it's not your fault. Let it go." In the corner, little Kayato gurgles and giggles in his crib.


	2. Chapter 2 Just Another Saturday, Almost

**Chapter Two – Just Another Saturday, Almost**

**Two months ago, a Saturday morning**

Running down the stairs, Keitaro laughs as Su chases him through the front door with her Mecha-Tama. Su giggles, "Comes back here, Keitaros, I gotta work out a few more bugs in this Mecha-Tama!". "You gotta be kidding, right? I thought you had those bugs worked out last week?" Keitaro replies. "I did, but I added a few more for testings on yas this week."

Saturday mornings are always interesting around the dorm, because they always know how Su would greet the manager when he awakes. Generally, the other girls make sure to get up before him and gather in the relative safety of the kitchen as Shinobu prepares breakfast.

If there was one thing Su can be counted on in her rampages chasing after Keitaro, it is that the kitchen is off-limits. She never wanted to have to miss a meal because of anything she did.

The girls see Keitaro run past the kitchen window at full speed. Su's mecha stops, and she presses a button on her remote control; "Prepare yourselfs , fowl deciliter! Skin-my-toes, 'Banana **Misairu** **Atakku' **Banana Missile Attack!"

A muffled explosion followed by a fading 'woo-hoo' reaches them as they are preparing to serve their meal. Su says, "My works here is done! Hiyo-burrito, away!"

Naru giggles, smiling, "Keitaro's getting better. Su's Mecha normally would have caught him before Shinobu even had the toast ready."

Motoko, her hand on her sword, "Well, that is to be expected. Kei-, uh, Urashima is proving more adept at delaying his inevitable punishments. He even gives me a 'run for my money' on occasion. He has learned much during our 'sparring' sessions." Motoko eyes Kitsune as she stresses 'sparring'.

Kitsune spurts tea from her nose as she laughs; "S-sparring sessions? Is that what 'attempted grievous bodily harm' is called now-a-days?" she says as she wipes the tea from her face. "And ya'll timed that to make me squirt tea on purpose, didn'tchya?"

Motoko bows her head towards Kitsune and smiles, "I have learned my timing from the master."

"Well, I guess that's a compliment. Course, the 'master' never meant for ya to use her own technique against her."

Su comes charging into the kitchen "Ya shoulda seen it! Keitaro International Space Station, launched right on schedule!"

"Aaauuuuu! Will Sempai be back in time for breakfast?" Shinobu asks, looking over her shoulder?

"Oh my, hello! Is anyone here? I'm lost, and I can't seem to find my car!"

As one, Naru and Kitsune smile at each other, roll their eyes, tilt their heads and call out "You don't own a car, Mutsumi, and you live here, remember?"

Walking into the kitchen, Tama-chan sitting on her head, the melon lady places a hand to her face "Oh dear, you're right. I'm so sorry. Did you lose your car and have to live here as well?" a slight smile, un-noticed by Naru, plays at Mutsumi's lips. "Mew" Tama adds.

Naru turns, wiping her hands with a towel, "Now you know I've never owned a….Mutsumi, stop doing that! I never can tell when you're playing games with me or not!" Naru grins as she playful slaps the towel at Mutsumi.

"Oh my, maybe we can finish this conversation in the hot springs later. Towels at ten paces?" Kitsune says, mimicking the melon lady.

Motoko, a slight smile on her face, rises from the table, "I would recommend against a towel fight in the springs. We all know that the moment any one of us removes our covering there, that vile male Urashima will find some way to intrude upon our privacy to slake his perverted lusts upon our bodies."

"Aaauuuuu! I wouldn't mind if Sempai saw me just a little naked." Realizing she spoke out loud, Shinobu squeaks and faints.

Naru leans down to catch the cook, easing her onto her lap as she sits in a chair, while Kitsune steps up to finish preparing breakfast. Placing a cup of tea in front of Shinobu, Naru cradles her until she wakes.

After a few minutes, Kitsune and Motoko bring the rest of the trays in, and they all sit down to breakfast. Shinobu apologizes for fainting as she sets everyone plates.

"Shouldn't we wait for Kei-kun?" Mutsumi asks.

Naru looks towards the front door, a bit of concern on her face, "He should have been back by now, Su's explosion didn't sound very powerful this morning."

"Wrong-O, Punch-lady. That was TWO left-over missiles from my last batch. Low-yield only. Gotta clean out my storage to make room for my new-improved missiles."

"Urashima will be along shortly. And he would not wish us to wait on him to start our meals. He would insist." Motoko says, also glancing at the front door for a few moments.

Shinobu is the only one who hears the kitchen door open as Keitaro returns from his latest trip.

She thinks _(Now, Shinobu, while everyone's watching the front door, go for it_!) "Oops, I forgot the marmalade for the toast. Excuse me." Shinobu jumps up and rushes to the kitchen.

As she plows through the door, she braces herself as she crashes into Keitaro. Together they fall to the floor, Keitaro holding Shinobu tightly (as she expected) and curling around her to protect her from injury. Keitaro's head slams into the floor, knocking his glasses off and dazing him for a few seconds.

As he lays there, Shinobu looks down, finding her face mere inches from his, and feels him slowly breathing on her cheek. _(Go for it, Shinobu, go for it! Fight! Fight!)_. She lowers her head quickly and kisses him on the lips for only a moment before she jumps up. Hearing giggles, she 

spins around. _(Oh, no!)_ As the door was still open, everyone saw what the young cook did. Shinobu whimpers as she waits for what must surely follow: Keitaro will be called a pervert, again, and he'll get hit, again.

"Aaauuuuu! Please, Naru-sempai, Motoko-sempai! It was an accident, don't hurt my Sempai! I-I was only k-kissing him a little." Her eyes go wide as realizes what she has done, and she looks down and whispers "I pee'd!"

Everyone grins at her. Naru giggles, "Don't worry, Shinobu-chan. We know it was an accident. Let's get you and Keitaro cleaned up and have our breakfasts."

The sword maiden adds "It was plain that, even as you fell, Shinobu-chan, Urashima cushioned you with his own body to protect you from harm. A most commendable action on his part. It is only natural that we are drawn to thank him with a kiss when he shows his protectiveness over us in such ways."

Kitsune catches that; "'WE', Motoko? As in you've kissed Keitaro, too?" Grabbing her tea, she leans forward and says, "Oh, this I have GOT to hear. Give momma Kitsune all the dirty details."

Blushing, the sword maiden turns to the Fox; "T-that would not be an appropriate conversation to have, especially at breakfast and with minors present."

As Naru and Shinobu return from the laundry room, they ease Keitaro to a sitting position. They wipe at the scratches on his face, clean and bandage the cuts on his forehead and arms, and place cold clothes on his bruised jaw. Shinobu kneels on his right side. As Keitaro starts to move and groan, she turns away from him and leans out to pick up his glasses. He groggily opens his eyes and, seeing a vague shape in front of him, he wonders what it is as he reaches out and grabs it. "Aaaiiiieeee!" Shinobu's cry is part staged fright, part from the thought of her Sempai touching her on her bottom.

"I'm s-sorry, Shinobu-chan, I couldn't see anything w-without my glasses! P-please forgive me!" Keitaro exclaims, holding his hands out in front of himself as the stands and bows his apologies.

"Keitaro, leave Shinobu alone, she's barely out of middle school you PERVERT!" Naru spins and executes a perfect Naru-kick to his stomach, Keitaro flies through the kitchen door and 

bounces off two walls, coming to stop at the sword maiden's feet. As he stands up, he sees Motoko, sword unsheathed, right in front of him.

"I have had enough of your vile, lecherous, perverted desires over Shinobu's innocence. This time I will bring final justice upon you!" Keitaro looks up to see flames in Motoko's eyes as her sword glows, and says to himself, albeit with a slight smile, _(Darn, this is gonna hurt!)_ "Please, Motoko-chan, I'm innocent, I didn't mean it!" With the expected results……

"Shinmei-ryu no Jakuzankusen! God's Cry Attack of The Sword of Wind!"

A wind created of ki energy envelopes Keitaro and blasts him through the door, bouncing off the common room table, through the front doors and out of sight, the sound of his laughter fading into the distance.

Shinobu, putting Keitaro's glasses in her apron pocket, grabs a frying pan and runs out the door "I'll protect you Sempai!" she cries, fully expecting Naru and Motoko to follow up on their attacks.

Su jumps up, grabs a remote control, and charges out the window, her Mecha-Tama following her "Great, I been meaning to test out my new Keitaro Fry-itz-o-Matic homing missiles!"

Mutsumi grabs some watermelons; "Kei-kun will be hungry; he hasn't had any breakfast yet!"

"This is gonna be good!" Kitsune grabs a bottle of sake and her camera as she follows the Okinawan out the front doors.

Naru and Motoko stand there, looking at each other. "Were you going to hit him again?" Naru asks. Motoko shakes her head "And you?" Naru also gives a negative reply.

A few seconds pass. Naru giggles "I guess it wouldn't hurt to follow them. We are throwing him a surprise party for his sixth month anniversary as our manager tonight, you know."

Smiling, Motoko sheaths her sword "Yes. It would not be proper for the guest of honor to be too badly injured before his surprise party. Let us go collect him and the others so we may eat breakfast. And, to be safe, we should reach him before Shinobu-chan, lest Urashima attempt to inflict his perverted desires upon her...or visa-versa." Motoko races out the door with her sword, and Naru grabs a badminton racket, in case she needs to clear the others off Keitaro when they find him.

**Meanwhile, at the local Hinata Police koban (police box):**

Sergeant Murayama, the new local Police Officer, sits in their koban contemplating starting the semi-annual residential surveys next week.

Suddenly, they see a figure flying through the air, again! _(This has to be the twentieth time I've seen that person go by since I started this beat last week! Who is it, why the hell is anyone _

_torturing that poor soul like this, and why don't I ever get any reports of abuse? Wait a sec….Oh hell, they're coming right for…)_ Sergeant Murayama ducks for cover just as Keitaro slams into the bullet-proof glass of the koban, cracking it.

As he sticks there for a moment, Sergeant Murayama jumps out from behind their desk and stares. (_U-Urashima? Keitaro Urashima? What the hell?)_ Sergeant Murayama hears a voice outside the koban "Shinmei-ryu no Zanganken! God's Cry Attack of The Stone Cleaving Sword!" At that moment, a strange swirling vortex strikes Keitaro, peeling him off the window and throwing him towards the docks. A raven-haired young woman, dressed in a traditional sword maiden outfit, runs past, carrying a sword she has unsheathed, calling out, "Kei, uh, Urashima, stand and face me like a warrior!" _(What the hell was that she hit Urashima with? A ki attack?)_

Closely following her is a honey-haired young lady in a sweater and plaid skirt, carrying a racket of some sort in her left hand, her right balled into a formidable looking fist. A vein stands out on her forehead like a firebrand. "Come back here, Keitaro, you can't run forever!" she yells. _(She looks like she's out for Urashima's blood!)_

Following them are several other young women and girls, each appears to be carrying some sort of weapon.

A young brunette woman with a melon in each hand and a 'flying turtle?' following her "Oh my, he needs more of my melons!"

A petite dark-haired girl with a frying pan "Aaauuuuu!" Shivers run up the officer's spine._ (Kami-sama!! What kinda sound was THAT?)_

A short-haired blonde young woman swinging a sake bottle over her head "Hey, Keitaro, come back here! Momma Kitsune's got something fer ya!"

Yasumiko Murayama, Hinata's newly assigned policewoman, grabs her night-stick, ticket book and coke-bottle glasses. She stuffs her long red hair under her hat as hurries out the door, intent to stop whatever mayhem these people are trying to inflict on her child-hood friend Urashima.

Turning as she exits the koban, she is nearly run down by a (double-take) man-sized mechanical turtle with a young, dark-skinned blonde girl riding on top of it "Comes back here, Keitaro, I gots to try out my new tracking missiles on ya's!" _(Tracking missiles? What the hell is going on here? Swords, rackets, melons, flying turtles, frying pans, bottles, and robots with tracking missiles?)_ In a meek voice, she politely calls after them; "Hey, you people, stop, wait, halt, Police! ...Please?"

(A.N. Imagine Cadet Laverne Hooks from the movie Police Academy. That's what Yasumiko is like on duty. Real quiet and polite, until her blood gets boiling.)

**A few minutes later – **

Yasumiko catches up to the girls, who are crowded around Keitaro, waving their fists or weapons in the air over him. Pulling out her night-stick and whistle, she calls for calm.

(tweet, tweet), (tap-tap on a brick wall with the nightstick) then, almost in a whisper, "stop, police!"

Nothing. The girls ignore her.

Again, (tweet), (tap) and a slightly quieter whisper, "police, halt, stop!"

Ignored again, Yasumiko feels her blood begin to boil.

Taking a deep breath, she puts the whistle to her lips and blows a 140 decibel blast, rumbling like a high-pitched jet engine **(TWEEEEEEEET!!)** and smacks the night stick against a brick wall, the sound reverberating like a .357 Magnum gunshot. Like a banshee unleashed, she then bellows out her commands.

"**DON'T MOVE, DIRTBAGS! I SAID THIS IS THE POLICE! HALT AND I MEAN IT! BACK AWAY FROM THAT MAN AND SET YOUR WEAPONS DOWN NOW!"**

As a mixed assortment of weapons clatter to the ground, only two sounds can be heard: Keitaro's labored breathing, and six female voices whispering "I pee'd!"

In the silence that follows, someone releases gas in a high-pitched squeak. Tama's normally yellow skin blushes three shades of red; "mew mew" she says.


	3. Chapter 3 – Separation Anxiety

**Chapter Three – Separation Anxiety**

**The next day, Sunday, the Hinata Tea House, dinner time**

Keitaro has been staying at the Tea Shop with Haruka for the last eighteen hours, the last six spent sitting and drinking a few cups of coffee, the most current of which he hasn't even sipped yet. Haruka keeps an eye on him as she does odd jobs around the closed establishment, occasionally asking if he needs anything. _(Poor Keitaro, he hasn't eaten anything for two days, but he refuses to let me prepare anything for him.)_

Walking to the kitchen, she washes her hands and pours a cup of strong coffee before sitting with Keitaro. Before she can say anything, Keitaro say: "Haruka, it's all my fault. I always try to land to avoid crowds or anywhere a stranger might question what is going on. The girls almost never are really mean when they hit me, and some of the time it's just in fun. I should have noticed that police koban in time and…"

Holding her cigarette in her mouth, Haruka says, "Keitaro, you can't be expected to get everything right every time, you know. You're only human. Impervious to most bodily harm; able to heal yourself virtually overnight, if not faster, from what injuries you do receive; but a human none the less. Don't blame yourself so hard."

"Haruka, I can't blame anyone else. I could have walked away from this a long time ago, but..but…."

"Go on, Keitaro."

"The only times most of them ever pay attention to me is after they've hit me when I've done something wrong, or messed something up, or failed them somehow. And to be h-honest Haruka, it's gotten to the point that I don't mind so much being hit.."

"Wait just a dammed minute, Keitaro. That just isn't right! You…"

"No, let me finish. I don't mean I look forward to getting actually hit, or to the pain. God, you can't believe how much it hurts to pull myself together after flying halfway across the city to land in a lumber yard, or a concrete plant, or an empty parking lot, or in the forest."

Taking a deep breath, "But, when I get back to the dorm, back to them, the looks of concern they give me, they way they help me, get bandages for me, the way they t-touch me, and hold on to me, and t-talk to me, it…it makes me feel like I'm someone special, at least for a little while. That makes it kinda worth it. The hits, bruises, cuts, broken bones, twisted ankl…"

"BROKEN BONES!? What the hell? Why didn't you ever say anything to me about broken bones? We're family, Keitaro. Don't you think I have a right to know?"

Rubbing the back of his head, he responds "I never told you for the same reason I never told the girls after the first couple of times. They were so ashamed, and I didn't want you or them to 

worry about me. I knew I'd be alright after a day or two, I'd just have to take it easy until my leg or arm or ribs or whatever bones it happened to be that time healed. Hikari-sensei helped a lot, giving me form-fitting rigid casts I could wear them under my clothes so nobody would notice them."

Taking a deep drag on her cigarette, Haruka looks up at the light as she blows the smoke out, trying to calm down. She thinks about what Keitaro has said, trying to understand his point. "So, you are saying that you like the attention you get, even if it's at the cost of great personal pain and suffering to you? That you accept being treated like a punching bag –slash- human target –slash- science experiment –slash- piggy bank just to receive a little kindness from the girls?"

The anger in Haruka's eyes and voice are unmistakable. "A little human kindness shouldn't require YOU to have to go through hell to get it! Those girls are only getting what they deserve. They should have learned long ago to treat you better. You do more than anyone expects for them. They should be on their knees thanking you for being the wonderful manager and friend you are!"

Looking up the hill, Keitaro sighs, and a small tear forms in his eye. "But Haruka, that's just it! They're in trouble now, and I'm their manager and their friend. I have to help them, they need me. They never truly meant to be hurtful. Besides, I know some of them came from rough family backgrounds. It means the world to me to let them get it out of their systems on me. Besides, I can take it."

Haruka, not convinced, reaches out and places her hand on his arm. "Can you? Can you really?" She shakes her head _(Crazy kids! One of these days, one of them is gonna say the right thing at the right time to Keitaro, and he's either gonna kick them all out on their backsides, or marry one of them.)_

**Hinata-sou- that morning**

The girls sit around the dining room, not believing what happened yesterday. None of them slept much last night, and no one feels up to eating more than a token meal from the breakfast Shinobu prepared.

Naru stares at the table, mindlessly pushing her breakfast around the plate with her chopsticks.

Motoko tries to meditate, to bring a sense of calm to herself. She has as much luck now as she did all night, which is to say, none at all.

Kitsune sips a green tea, watching a leaf settle to the bottom of her cup.

Mutsumi fondles her melons, but ignores her plate.

Su, normally able to bounce back from anything when there is food on the table, has only been able to handle one banana this morning, instead of her usual six along with a side of breakfast.

Shinobu carries a plate of toast to the table. She sets it down and takes her place, sitting next to the empty chair that would normally be occupied by her Sempai. She whimpers "Poor Sempai, I hope he's not lonely, or hungry, or hurt, because I, I miss, I…Aaauuuuu!" Guiltily she thinks _(I-If I hadn't 'accidentally' ran into Sempai yesterday, none of this would have happened.)_

In a muted voice, Kitsune murmurs, "Ah can't believe it. This can't be happening. We're stuck here under temporary house arrest, and Keitaro isn't allowed to come any closer than Haruka's Tea House." _(If I hadn't always teased Keitaro, none of this would have happened!)_

Naru, "We can't call him and he isn't allowed contact with us. What do you think is going to happen, Motoko?" _(If I hadn't acted so terribly to that baka, none of this would have happened!)_

The sword maiden opens her eyes, unable to gain any semblance of balance from her failed attempt at meditation. "I have been thinking about that for some time, Naru-san. Think of the situation we found ourselves in yesterday."

"Officer Murayama found all of us in what appeared to be an attack on Urashima's person. Not only were each of us holding something that could be considered a 'weapon', but Urashima had obvious signs of having been attacked; his injured head and arm, his bruised jaw and stomach, his twisted ankle, and numerous scrapes and cuts on his person."

"After separating us from him, Officer Murayama called for an investigative team, who photographed Urashima's injuries. Our 'weapons' were confiscated, and then we were taken back to the koban where we ourselves were photographed and fingerprinted. Urashima had been transported to the Hinata Clinic for observation, while we answered questions for Officer Murayama into the night."

"At the conclusion, we were told that, due to the circumstantial evidence, were would be placed under house confinement, with no contact between ourselves and Urashima, until a magistrate could review the evidence and decide on what actions to take next. I fear that when we appear in court on Friday, it will be to face charges of inflicting grievous bodily harm on Urashima…on possibly more than one count." _(If I had been more tolerant of Ura-, of Keitaro, none of this would have happened!)_

Kitsune's eyes open wide "Oh Spit! You can't mean…but, Keitaro would never tell on us….would he?"

Naru "He'd have every right to, but think about it; He wouldn't have to say anything, Kitsune. They took him to the Hinata Clinic yesterday morning, remember? He's been treated by Hikari more times than I care to remember these last six months. If the police ask her about his medical history since he's been our kanrinin,…I can't imagine what'll happen to us!"

Mutsumi stands up, caressing her melons, "Poor Kei-kun. Not even allowed to come home because of us. Oh, dear. I wish I could go console him with my melons." _(If only I had…oh, my!)_ as she slowly falls forward, fainting into her plate of rice.

Su, pulling a remote control out, says, "Timbers! Melon-lady down! All units proceed to table, code green, I repeats, code 'melon' green! We has a situation, peoples, move it!" A Mecha-Tama, complete with a nurses' cap and a tongue depressor, flies through the window.

Motoko _(Su-chan has been watching entirely too many American police dramas.)_ "I believe Otohime-san will be fine without your Mecha-Nurse, Su-chan. She just needs to rest for a little while."

"Whatever you says, stick-waving momma. All units, pull-back, situation has been declared annulled and void. Return to station." The Mecha-Tama flies out the window, and promptly explodes. "Oops. I forgots, that one was supposed to be fer Keitaro's surprises party last night." (_Poor Keitaros. If onlys I had caught up to you with my Mecha-Tama before ya hit that koban, we coulda had some fun with my Mecha-Tama last night!)_

Everyone (except the unconscious Mutsumi) looks up suddenly. Keitaro's party!

"Oh Spit! On top of all this, we never had a chance to tell Keitaro just what a wonderful kanrinin he's been. He probably thinks we've never appreciated all the work he does around here." Kitsune groans, worried about what his opinion of them must be.

"Aaauuuuu! Sempai, we meant to tell you how much you're appreciated by us all!" Shinobu cries, tears falling down her cheeks.

Naru, rubbing her hands together nervously, "Damn! Now on top of us attacking him all the time, and feeling un-appreciated as our kanrinin, he's probably thinking that this is what we deserve. And he'd be right. We waited too long to tell him, now we're in for it."

"Considering the state he was in when the police took him to the Hinata Clinic, it is entirely possible they may have convinced him to press charges against us! Spirits, this is worse than I had imagined. Urashima would no doubt succumb to the pressures of the law enforcement personnel to follow-up and seek restitution for all his past pain and suffering!" Motoko states, feeling helpless at what awaits them on Friday.

As usual, the girls have come to a logical conclusion of what Keitaro is thinking, and totally mis-interpret it. Kitsune sums it up, "We're boned!"


	4. Chapter 4 – DisOrder in the Court

**Chapter Four – Dis-Order in the Court**

**Five days later, Friday morning, in the Hinata Kan'i-saiban-sho, or Summary Court**-

Everyone is seated outside the main magistrates' area, waiting to be ushered into the courtroom.

Keitaro, Haruka and Hikari sit on one side, and the girls all sit on the other side, separated by a sound-and-bullet-proof glass wall.

This is the first time Keitaro has seen the girls since last Saturday, and he has a hard time trying to meet their eyes. Haruka looks over at Keitaro, and pats his hand_. (All week I've been trying to convince him this isn't his fault, that it was just bad luck that ALL the girls decided to chase him this time, and that a police officer witnessed most of the 'attack' on him. That this is nothing more than they all deserve. But he can't accept that.)_ She whispers "Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

Keitaro nods to her. "If I can convince the magistrate that I'm to blame for all the attacks, then they'll have to let them off."

"Alright, but remember what I said. You could end up with a record. Even worse, they could label you a sex offender, and you'd be forced out of Hinata-sou."

"I know. And you remember that you promised that if that happens, you'll do nothing to the girls, and they get to stay in the dorms. It'll be just like before I came along. They'll all still be together. I'm the outsider here."

"Oh, Keitaro, I said it before, you're too good for them. They've never really understood just what a kind man you are."

Keitaro blushes slightly, but just shrugs off Haruka's description of him. "They deserve better than that, Haruka. Just take care of them for me."

"I promise, Keitaro."

On the other side, the girls can't take their eyes off their kanrinin. Even though it has only been seven days, they are distraught at the change in him. He's seems thinner; he appears to not care about his looks; seeming to be wearing clothes that may have been slept in, possibly for more than one night; and his eyes. His eyes are red-rimmed, as if he has been crying. That more than anything wrenches their hearts.

**Of course, they totally misinterpret what they are seeing.**

Naru "Oh, our poor Keitaro! What have we.. what have I done to him?"

"I fear our last attack upon Urashima was too much for him to bear." Motoko sighs "We have been guilty of attacks too numerous to contemplate on his person, and he has reached the limits of patience."

"And it didn't help that I was always play-seducing him, sometimes to get an extension on mah rent, but most of the time because it was fun to watch his reaction." Kitsune replies.

"Oh Keitaros, I hopes we can gets back to playing. I promise I'll be a nicer playmate wids ya when yas gets better." Su whimpers.

Mutsumi slowly shakes her head, "Oh, my, Kei-kun. Why have we let it go this far, you poor dear? You look like you need my melons."

Kitsune turns, "At least one of us is free of guilt. Shinobu-chan never did anything to hurt Keitaro the whole time she's been at Hinata-sou."

Shinobu breaks down, "Aaauuuuu! I'm just as guilty as you all are. I could've helped Sempai avoid getting hit more, but I always froze. And, there were those times I..um, well….that I got in his way on purpose so I would fall, and he would have to grab and h-hold on to m-me."

The girls stare at Shinobu. Kitsune, in spite of the situation, grins and laughs "Well, why am I not surprised, sugah? Ya'll has always had a crush on Keitaro. It's only natural you'd want to be held by him. I'm just ashamed I never thought to do that myself." She looks at the others, stunned that the same thought appears on their faces as well. "Uh, well now, erm….Well, dang, don't that beat all?"

Motoko, "T-this revelation of how we all feel about Ura-..Keitaro may have come too late. It is obvious from just looking at him that he is a b-broken man. His only logical course of action is to seek the protection of the legal system."

Naru sobs, her tears falling onto her hands. "Motoko's right. We could have been nicer, but we weren't. Now we're just gonna have to stand up and t-take what's coming…. I feel so ashamed for what we, for what I've put K-Keitaro through that I don't care what happens to me, as long as he is OK, as long as he has a chance to be like he was."

"Our only hope is to admit everything, beg forgiveness from Keitaro, and try to explain our reasons to the magistrate. Maybe, maybe…." Kitsune falters, her tears falling down her face.

"Yes. We must take responsibility, and convince Keitaro of our remorse. However, the fact that we attacked him constantly, in a residence that belongs to his family, and that he n-never raised a hand against us in anger or retaliation or defense, will not sit well with the magistrate." Motoko says. "At best, I fear those of us judged to be under-age will be forced to leave Hinata-sou, and the rest of us will most likely face jail and permanent criminal records."

At that moment, the bailiffs open the doors, and everyone is directed to enter the court room.

After they all shuffle in, the magistrate enters from her chambers. Black robes and a foreboding sense of authority and power exude from her.

Throwing the hood of her robe back, her dark hair is tied in a tight, professional bun on the back of her head. Thick glasses cover her eyes, giving her an owlish demeanor.

The Magistrate sits at her desk, unaware as she does so that her ample bosoms plop and bounce on the flat surface, knocking over a pencil holder. She looks around and squints out upon the assembled courtroom through her glasses.

Kitsune sneers, muttering under her breath "Dang. That lady has all of us out-done in the endowment category!"

The Magistrate bangs her gavel once, and in a commanding voice she states, "I call this court to order!"

"A dozen bananas, and ya should make sure they aint soft and squishy!"

"Huh?"

"Su! Hush! Don't ya'll be saying things like that!" Kitsune whispers between clenched teeth as she clamps a hand over the blonde girl's mouth. "Sorry, yer Honor, she's just a little nervous."

Motoko hisses "Mutsumi-san, come back here!" too late, as the melon lady approaches the Magistrate.

Mutsumi lifts her melons and places them on the judge's bench. The magistrate looks down at her and asks "What are you doing?"

Mutsumi replies, "Oh my, isn't this a melon judging contest?"

"No, Miss, it is not." _(What kind of people are these girls? And just where did those melons come from?)_

"Oh dear, am I in the wrong contest, then?"

"Bailiff Rhatt, confiscate these melons and please escort this young lady to her seat."

"Yes, Mistre, er, I mean, your Honor" Bugsy replies as he takes Mutsumi's arm and returns her to her seat. Taking a melon in each hand, Bugsy lifts Mutsumi's ponderous packages and carries them to an empty table.

The Magistrate straightens her glasses and looks at her paperwork. "I hereby call into order the case of Hinata City, representing Mister Keitaro Urashima, Age: 19, Preparatory-school student and Manager of the Hinata-sou Apartments, versus the following individuals:"

"Mutsumi Otohime, Age: 20, Preparatory-school student, and tenant of the Hinata-sou Apartments."

"Mitsune Konno, Age: 20, Free-lance writer, and tenant of the Hinata-sou Apartments."

"Naru Narusegawa, Age: 17, Preparatory -school student, and tenant of the Hinata-sou Apartments."

"Motoko Aoyama, Age: 16, High school student, heir to the Shinmei School of Kyoto, and tenant of the Hinata-sou Apartments."

"Koalla Su, Age: 14, Middle high school student, and tenant of the Hinata-sou Apartments."

"Hey, whadaya think I is, a psychedelic, tree-hugging teddy bear? The name's Kaolla Su, yer judgieness"

"My pardon, Miss Su, for the error in.." The Magistrate sees the look Su is giving her. "Is there another problem, Miss Su?"

"Yeah, I ain't soup, neither. Kaolla is my last names. Just calls me Su."

Bugsy leans over and whispers something to the Magistrate. "Later" she tells him as she blushes.

She continues, "Very well, KAOLLA Su. And lastly;"

"Shinobu Maehara, Age: 13, Middle high school student, tenant and resident cook of the Hinata-sou Apartments."

"Would the clerk please read the charges!"

The second bailiff stands; "I, Slip Weezel, Clerk of Hinata City, do hereby enter in to the record the following charges:

1. Miss Shinobu Maehara; multiple charges of failure to report, in the actions of grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Shinobu jerks as an arrow hits her.

2. Miss Mutsumi Otohime; multiple charges of failure to report, in the actions of grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Mutsumi faints as an arrow hits her.

3. Miss Mitsune Konno; multiple charges of failure to report, in the actions of grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Kitsune jerks as an arrow hits her.Multiple charges of lewd conduct, acts of coercion, and petty theft against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Kitsune grunts as a second arrow hits her.

4. Miss Kaolla Su; multiple charges of failure to report, in the actions of grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Su jerks as an arrow hits her. Multiple charges in the use of 

weapons of unknown origin in the committing of acts of grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Su grunts as a second arrow hits her.

5. Miss Motoko Aoyama; multiple charges of failure to report, in the actions of grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Motoko jerks as an arrow hits her. Multiple charges in the use of deadly weapons in the committing of acts of grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Motoko grunts as a second arrow hits her. Multiple acts of the use of physical assault, resulting in grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Motoko grimaces as a third arrow hits her.

And finally;

6. Miss Naru Narusegawa; multiple charges of failure to report, in the actions of grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Naru jerks as an arrow hits her.Multiple charges in the use of deadly weapons in the committing of acts of grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima Naru grunts as a second arrow hits her. Multiple acts of the use of physical assault, resulting in grievous bodily harm against Mister Keitaro Urashima. Naru grimaces as a third arrow hits her. Multiple charges of lewd conduct and acts of coercion against Mister Keitaro Urashima." Naru collapses as a fourth arrow hits her.

Su looks up at Naru and Motoko and whispers, "We're boned!"

After the charges have been read, the public defender assigned to the girls requests and receives a stay until the following Monday to prepare their defenses.


	5. Chapter 5 Weekend Worries

**Chapter Five – Weekend Worries**

After having spent the rest of Friday discussing their case with the public defender, the girls return to Hinata-sou mentally and emotionally exhausted.

As much as they argued with the lawyer that they wished to admit everything and throw themselves on the mercy of the court, he advised them that, due to the nature of the charges, they were better served explaining the circumstances behind their decisions, since none of them had the desire to lay blame on their kanrinin.

Shinobu prepares to go to the kitchen, "I'm going to make something to help calm us all down. We need it after today."

"Would you like me to help, Shinobu-chan?" Naru asks?

"NO!" everyone says. "Naru-san, please, we need soothing fare after our ordeal this day. Your cooking skills, while commendable in the effort, always manage to, how shall I put this…?" Motoko pauses.

"Naru, we loves ya'll, but none of us is up for 'toxic waste' tonight. Sorry." Kitsune replies.

As Shinobu walks through the dining room, the kitchen door opens, revealing Haruka striding out, her cigarette holder in her mouth. "H-Haruka-san! What are you doing here?" the young cook asks? Having not talked to the them in a week, they fear what she may have to say about what they've done to her nephew.

The girls hang their heads, hoping to hear how Keitaro is, but afraid of what Haruka will say.

Haruka motions for Shinobu to come to her, as she tells the others "Please, everyone take a seat. I'm not here to bite anyone's head off. Shinobu-chan, would you help me in the kitchen please?" She turns and the young cook follows her while everyone else takes their normal seats at the table. Everyone only just now realizes that something smells very tasty, and they wonder what is going on.

A few minutes later, Haruka and Shinobu return, Haruka carrying a tray and Shinobu pushing a cart loaded with comfort foods. The girls stare, not quite sure how to react, thinking _(Haruka cooked dinner for us? But, she hates to cook! What is Haruka-san planning? Oh, Spit, it ain't ever a good sign when Haruka makes dinner fer us, she's gonna poison us, ah know it! Oh, my, that smells delicious! Are there any bananas under that platter?)_. They hesitate to make any move, worried that Haruka has an ulterior motive for cooking for them.

Haruka, seeing their hesitation, takes the cigarette out of her mouth and explains; "To answer your obvious question: No, I did not cook this. You can thank Keitaro for dinner tonight." The girls all stare at her in surprise. "After I got back from the courthouse, he insisted he had to cook something for all of you. He went to the market, and then spent two hours in the kitchen down in the Tea House making all this for you all."

"K-Keitaro did this for us? But, but why? He hates us, and he's gonna have the police throw the book at us. You heard all the charges against us." Naru says, wringing her hands in front of her before wrapping her arms around her chest to hold back her tears.

Motoko bows to Haruka, a glint of wetness in her eyes, "Urashima is well within his rights to bring the full force of the law upon us. It is our fault that we never let him know how much he is appreciated by all of us."

"Oh, dear. Kei-kun went through all this trouble, and we don't deserve it." Mutsumi looks down, her ever-present smile evaporating as a tear falls down one cheek.

Su looks over to Haruka, "I never meant to hurts him so bad, Haruka-sensei. I only wanted us to have fun and play together."

"Aaauuuuu! Haruka, Sempai is too good to us. He's too good FOR us." Shinobu whispers.

"Ya'll got that right, Shinobu-chan. We'all don't deserve Keitaro. All we've ever done has been selfish and thoughtless." Kitsune says, looking down at her hands.

Shinobu sniffs, "A-and we never even had a chance to throw him his surprise party last Saturday because of all this. Aaauuuuu!"

Haruka, raising one eyebrow, asks, "Surprise party? For Keitaro? Why?"

Naru "It was supposed to be a sixth month anniversary party, to let h-him know how much we have appreciated him being our kanrinin, and…and our friend." The tears threaten to burst from her eyes, and Naru bites her fist to hold them back a little longer.

Trying hard not to look surprised, Haruka contemplates these statements. _(What the heck? A surprise party for their manager AND their friend? I think I had the girls tagged wrong. They DO care for Keitaro. But, they still need to learn a lesson in showing it a little better. And since Keitaro is already determined to take all the blame on himself, I'm not gonna be the one to let the girls off the hook. I'll just let Keitaro run this his way.)_

The girls have become worried because Haruka has been quiet for some time. Seeing this, Haruka decides it'll work in Keitaro's favor.

Haruka stands to her full, impressive height and points a long finger at the girls. In a voice that could put a banshee to shame, she speaks. "Thou shalt all be thrown into the pits and burn for all eternity or until it gets too hot! Then your flesh shall be flayed.."

THUNK!

"..from your very bones.."

"oh, dear!"...THUNK!

"..wiiiiiiiith, a herring!" and, deciding to go all out, "and I shall take great pleasure using your burning fingertips to light my cigarettes, as I will be there right along with you, ensuring your suffering is great and endless! So let it be written! So let it be done! Excelsior!"

Four sweat drops meet Haruka's gaze. There would have been six, but Shinobu fainted at 'flesh shall be flayed', and she lost Mutsumi at 'from your very bones'. Patting the young cook on the cheek to wake her, she says,"I was just kidding, Shinobu-chan. Come on, let's get this food on the table so you all can eat."

As they place the trays on the table, the others take their seats. Mutsumi wakes, saying "Oh, my, that dream was so realistic, Haruka was banishing us all to the underworld, oh, dear!" Everyone facefaults at Mutsumi's statement.

Shinobu takes the covers off the platters, and everyone is astonished to see that Keitaro has prepared each of their favorites.

"Haruka, why did Keitaro do this? After everything we've done, why?" Naru asks.

Thinking quickly, Haruka responds "This does not mean that his feelings have changed since last Saturday. But, you know what kind of person Keitaro is. Even with what he's gone through, he still has enough sympathy in him to do something for you. He saw how hard it was for you all in court today. Because I had some paperwork to fill out as a witness, I arrived back at the Tea House after he did. I told him you all were still at the courthouse, being grilled by your lawyer, so he thought you might appreciate not having to cook a meal tonight."

Motoko ponders this. "Are you saying he is no longer angry with us? He could just as easily ordered something to be delivered. He did not have to go to the trouble of preparing all this by hand."

Crossing her fingers behind her back, Haruka lies, "No, that is not what I am saying. Keitaro told me that he is still your kanrinin, and you are still his responsibility. That's all."

Kitsune, looking down at her hands, asks, "Ah, Haruka-san, if it is not too much trouble, could ya'll pass on our thanks for the meal? And our apologies? Please?"

_(Good, I hoped they would ask me that!)_ "No, Kitsune, I will not. Keitaro is not allowed to have contact with you. If I act as a go-between, I would be in violation of the court's orders, and the last thing I need is police problems." Crossing her fingers again "Just as I wouldn't pass on messages to any of you from Keitaro, if he even had any." _(Any? Gods, Keitaro has a whole book of things he wants to say them. Took me half an hour to get him to quit begging me to pass any messages for him.)_

Su, her voice trembling slightly, "Keitaros doesn't wants to talk to us no more? He hates us that much?"

Shinobu's lips quiver as she whispers "S-Sempai doesn't care any more?"

_(Damn, I gotta get outta here quick. I don't mind the older girls getting emotional, but when Su and Shinobu turn on the waterworks, all bets are off!)_ "What Keitaro chooses to think or do is entirely up to him, isn't it? I suggest you think about YOUR actions before questioning HIS thoughts and feelings." fingers cross again "Well, I have to get back to the Tea Shop. Keitaro is standing in for me, and he's already got enough on his mind without having to do my job at the same time." With that, Haruka waves and leaves the inn.

When she arrives at the CLOSED Tea House, Keitaro confronts her "D-did they say anything? How are they? Were they hungry? Can you tell me anything, Aunt Haruka?"

THWACK! A large paper fan strikes Keitaro to the ground "That's just Haruka."

"Sorry...well?"

"Well what?"

"Did they say anything?"

Thinking, Haruka say "The did ask me to pass on their thanks for the meal. Other than that, there isn't much to say. And if there was, we already went over this an hour ago. I can't and won't violate court orders and pass notes between you all. You know it would only make the situation worse. Just remember that if you get the urge to go behind my back."

Rubbing the back of his neck, Keitaro continues "I know. But, just a tiny message, maybe?" He puts on his best puppy dog eyes.

Haruka crosses her arms and grimaces, pinching herself hard in the ribs where Keitaro can't see. "Keitaro, you do not do 'sad puppy dog' well at all. And besides, would you risk getting them into more trouble just to say 'hi' or something?" _(Damn him and his puppy dog eyes. Almost caught me with 'em.)_

Smiling a lopsided grin, he says "No, I guess not. You're right."

"Good. Now, since you cooked for the girls, I get to take you out for a beef bowl. My treat. Get your jacket and let's go."

A few minutes later, they depart the Tea Shop.

Haruka hopes she can get through another weekend of Keitaro's self-blame without losing it completely.

**Saturday morning. After having overnight to think about it, our heroines come to a startling, and totally wrong, conclusion:**

As they sit eating breakfast, Naru voices what has been on her mind ever since last night. Her voice has a mixture of regret and anger in it. "I-I've been thinking about it. I think I know why Keitaro cooked all our favorites for us. He….that, that baka did it to tell us 'Goodbye'!"

The girls look at her, comprehension dawning in their eyes. Kitsune "Dang! That makes sense. A farewell meal, and then, after the courts are through with us next week, he'll boot us outta here!"

Su, a banana in each hand, looks up. "Does bootisouda taste good?"

Shinobu wrings her hands, "Aaauuuuu! Sempai would never be so cruel….would he?"

"Oh dear! That just doesn't seem like Kei-kun. I mean, he, uh. Oh my, what were we talking about again?" Mutsumi says, a hand on her face.

Naru "I wouldn't put it past Keitaro to have planned this whole thing! He was probably just waiting for a chance to kick us all out of here!"

Motoko "Much as I agree with you, Naru-san, I am forced to point out that it was WE who attacked Urashima."

"That's just it! He set us up! Oh, and I always thought he was an idiot! He's been planning his revenge on us for months! If I ever get my hands on that, that PERVERT, I'll make him wish he'd never laid eyes on us!"

Motoko ponders Naru's logic. "You may be…Is it possible that…Aaaaaaaaaaaargh! Urashima! You are not only a foul, deceitful, lecherous, vile, perverted male. But you are a conniving, evil plotter. How dare you do such a thing to young, impressionable females such as us? You have no honor, Urashima! When next we meet, prepare to accept final justice by my sword!"

Su taps the sword maiden on her arm, "Uh, the police has your sword, remembers?"

Motoko's face turns dark red as flames leap from her eyes! "Oooooooooooh! Now I have even more reason to end your miserable existence, Urashima! Separating a proud warrior from their honorable weapon! How vile can you be?"

"Aaauuuuu! Sempai's gonna get it now!" Shinobu says, not too thrilled with the idea of her Sempai being attacked again, but not wanting to rock the boat, especially with Naru-sempai and Motoko-sempai swinging the oars all over the place.

Kitsune, "What about the hearings on Monday? We'all ain't gonna go through with begging for mercy, are we? We need to show Keitaro that he can't treat us this way!"

Mutsumi tilts her head, and puts a finger to her chin. "Hmmmm. Kei-kun thinks we will give up without a fight? Hmmmm."

Naru thinks for a moment. "Okay, here's what we need to do. Keitaro's sure to have told them about all the attacks that landed him in the Hinata Clinic. We just need to make sure that OUR side of the story is told. Exactly what Keitaro did to us that made him end up there."

**Meanwhile, at the Tea House, Keitaro feels a cold breeze blow across his body. Reaching over, he closes the window next to his futon, and rolls over to get a few more minutes of sleep.**


	6. Chapter 6 Court of Criminally Appealing

**Chapter Six - Court of Criminally Appealing**

**Monday, late morning**

After spending the first part of the morning going over their cases with their bengoshi , the girls are waiting to re-enter the courtroom. They see Keitaro is now sitting by himself, still separated by the sound-proof wall. The girls sit opposite him again.

When Keitaro gets the nerve to look at the girls after they walk in and sit down, he feels like his stomach has been Naru-punched.

Naru, Motoko and Kitsune are staring at him with eyes like daggers.

Mutsumi is either asleep or out-cold, leaning on Su, who looks like she just lost her best friend.

Shinobu sits unmoving, not wanting to look up, with a tear falling down her cheek.

Keitaro lowers his eyes, unable to bear seeing the girls looking like this.

**Of course, Keitaro gets the totally wrong impression:**

_(Oh heck! I knew I should've tried calling them, court orders or not. They must hate me for not talking to them for over a week! Oh, Naru, Motoko, Kitsune. I wish I could apologize, but, what good would that do? Mutsumi, you've always been a friend, a weird, faints-all-the-time friend, but one anyways. Su, I'm sorry we haven't been able to play, I hope I can make it up to you. And Shinobu. Please don't cry. I can't stand it. I miss all of you.) _

**While on the other side of the waiting area:**

Naru glares at Keitaro; _(Just you wait, MR. Urashima! You aren't gonna kick us out of our home without a fight. You aren't gonna blame us for getting what you deserved, you Pervert!)_

Motoko grits her teeth as her gaze meets Keitaro's; _(Urashima! You foul, deceitful, lecherous, vile, perverted, conniving, evil plotter of a male! Court of law or not, if you try anything, I will bring justice upon you. And when this case is over, you WILL meet your final justice!)_

Kitsune grumbles as she stares at Keitaro; _(Ah still can't believe ya'll would do this to us, Keitaro. Ah thought ya'll liked us, but Ah guess Ah was wrong!)_

Mutsumi snores at Keitaro; zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Su looks at Keitaro with sad, puppy-dog eyes; _(Keitaros. Why dontchya wanna plays with me no more?)_

And Shinobu, unable to look him in the eye; "Aaauuuuu!" _(I can't believe it! I won't believe it. Sempai would NEVER hurt us or kick us out of our home! Naru just has to be wrong!)_

The bailiffs enter, and direct everyone to proceed into the courtroom. As they enter, the Magistrate again appears from her chambers.

The Magistrate turns to Keitaro and asks, "Mr. Urashima. I have been informed that you do not have counsel. Would you like the court to appoint one for you?"

Keitaro looks up at the Magistrate, "No, your honor. I choose to forfeit my rights to counsel."

The Magistrate thinks _(My, what a brave young man.) _Squinting a bit _(And, he's kinda cute, too.)_

"Uh, Mr. Urashima, although you are the plaintiff, it is normally recommended that plaintiffs be represented by counsel. Are you sure you will not reconsider?"

"No, you honor. If it comes down to it, I shall represent myself."

_(Definitely brave. Cute and brave. And sweet, too, I bet!)_

The girls are stunned when they hear this. They were sure he was going to have a bengoshi at his side, to make sure he gets what he wants; their convictions and ouster from Hinata-sou.

Now, they aren't so sure. Without a counsel, their bengoshi is sure to make mincemeat of any defense Keitaro might put up, and he'll get the book thrown at him. The girls, or at least most of them, gave detailed descriptions of his antics over the last six months to their bengoshi in their depositions, so he has plenty of ammunition.

"Very well, Mr. Urashi, ah, Keitaro-san. May I call you Keitaro-san?" He nods his head nervously. "Thank You. Very well, Keitaro-san, it is your decision to make." The Magistrate clears her throat as she fans her face. "Will the defendant's bengoshi please call their first witness?"

The bengoshi assigned as the public defender for the Hinata-sou girls, steps forward to begin questioning them. "I call Miss Shinobu Maehara to the stand."

Shinobu slowly makes her way to the seat indicated to her by the bailiff. After being sworn in, the bengoshi steps up and begins:

"Miss Maehara, I want you to understand that you must answer only the questions that are asked of you, nothing more. Is that clear?"

"Y-yes sir." Shinobu wriggles uncomfortably in the witness stand.

"Very well. Now, please tell the court. How long have you been a resident of the Hinata-sou Apartments?

"Just over six months, sir."

"And can you tell us, Miss Maehara, at any time during those six months, has the plaintiff, Mr. Urashima, ever done anything that could be considered untoward? That is to say, anything of a sexual or otherwise perverted nature?"

Shinobu hesitates. "W-well, you s-see, Sempai is very clumsy and he sometimes trips and falls, and h-he'll reach out to grab something to keep from being hurt, a-and the next thing that would h-happen is, he'd, ah, his hand would touch m-my, ah..."

"Just answer the question, Miss Maehara."

Shinobu looks guiltily at Keitaro, who smiles gently at her and softly nods his head, 'It's OK, Shinobu-chan" he mouths silently.

_(Oh, Sempai! Forgive me!) _"Yes, sir, he sometimes did." she replies in a tiny voice.

"Could you please speak up so that the court can hear you?"

"...Y-yes, he did."

Motoko reaches down to grip her sword. Realizing that she no longer has it in her possession, she balls her fists, her eyes glowing.

"And has Mr. Urashima ever committed any of these acts upon your person?"

" S-Sempai was always gentle, he never hurt me, h-he's just so s-sweet and sometimes clumsy, I tried to help…" the bengoshi looks at his watch "...Yes, he did, many times."

"Did Mr. Urashima ever attempt to remove any of your clothing while you were wearing it?

"Not intentionally, no sir. He would fall and, like I said, he had t-to grab something to try and protect himself and then, h-he'd…" again the watch "...Yes, he did."

"Did Mr. Urashima ever come into you room uninvited and see you in a state of undress?"

"Sometimes he'd accidentally come through the w-window, or t-the wall, but mostly through the door. He never came in without knocking first, but sometimes he'd come in without being able to knock..." tic-toc "…Yes, h-he did."

"Just a moment. Miss Maehara, you just said he never came into your room without knocking, but that he would sometimes come in without being able to knock. Could you please explain what you mean?

"W-well. Aaauuuuu! Poor Sempai! He always knocked whenever he came to see if I needed anything, or to go grocery shopping, or to wake me up for school if I overslept, or things like that."

"But, the times he didn't knock were when Naru-sempai or Motoko-sempai would hit him and he'd crash through the door or walls, or come through the window. H-he couldn't help it if I w-was, uh, naked then. Aaauuuuu!" Shinobu blushes three shades of red, partly because she admitted to being seen naked by a man, and partly from remembering that is was her Sempai who saw her.

Motoko feels her rage growing, as she mutters under her breath "Urashima!"

"Did you ever see Mr. Urashima in a state of undress in or out of his rooms?"

"...Yes, I did. Oh……." THUNK! Shinobu faints at the recollection, a dreamy smile on the young cooks face.

After the bailiffs attend to her, she says she's alright, and can continue.

"Miss Maehara, are you quite sure you wish to go on?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well. Miss Maehara, did Mr. Urashima ever hit or strike you?"

"NO! Sempai never hit me, or any of us!"

"Just answer yes or no, Miss Maehara."

"No!"

"Miss Maehara. Did Mr. Urashima ever attempt to kiss or fondle you?"

"No!... But I wish he would!... Did I just say that out loud? Aaauuuuu!" Shinobu blushes three shades of red, responding to what is her recurring fantasy involving Keitaro. She can't bear to look up at Keitaro's face. She wants to explain, to tell everyone it was all accidents, but the bengoshi won't let her.

Keitaro, hearing how his life at Hinata-sou is being represented, squirms in his chair. _(This might work out easier than I thought. I hope the girls will forgive me someday.)_

The bengoshi continues, "I would like to point out to the court that these 'incidents' occurred no fewer than 50 times in the last six months. Averaging two times a week, Mr. Urashima either accosted Miss Maehara, or exposed some part of himself to her." Smiling to himself, he turns to Keitaro. "Mr. Urashima, as you are representing yourself, I believe the witness is now yours."

Keitaro stands shakily. Rubbing his hands together, he walks over to Shinobu.

"Shinobu-chan," he whispers "please, look at me."

She slowly looks up, and sees him smiling at her. Her heart races at the warmth he has in his face for her, and she gives him a small smile in return.

"Aaauuuu! Sempai! I'm so sorry! I wante..."

"Shhh, Shinobu-chan. It's alright."

The Magistrate urges Keitaro to get on with his questioning.

"Shinobu-chan, uh, I mean, Miss Maehara. I have only one question to ask. Did you tell the truth to your attorney?"

"Y-Yes, Sempai. You always told me to tell the truth."

The Magistrate notes her response, as the girls stare like wide-eyed does. **Su's Note: That's as in female deers, plural of doe, and not John's Doe. Just in case ya gots confusticated.**

Another smile, sad but warm, appears on Keitaro's face. He whispers "I'm proud of you, Shinobu-chan." Shinobu blushes and whispers back, "Thank you, Sempai!"

Then, to the Magistrate, Keitaro says, "I have no more questions, your honor."

The court goes totally quiet, except for the sounds of the girls gasping in astonishment. Their bengoshi steps forward to finish his questions:

"Miss Maehara, were you cited in the accident?"

"Yes Sir, I was so excited I, I pee'd! Aaauuuuu!"

Snickers from the courtroom. The Magistrate taps her gavel to maintain order.

"No you mis-understand me. After the incident in question, did the police bring charges against you."

"Oh, y-yes sir. They charged towards all of us. Motoko-sempai would have kept them all away, but she had already dropped her sword. So she was only able to knock out three of them."

Motoko holds her head in her hands and groans. Steam rises from her anger. "I am so boned! Urashima shall pay for this!"

"Miss Maehara, did you ever stay all night with Mister Urashima in his room?"

"I refuse to answer that question."

"Did you ever stay all night with Mister Urashima in your room?"

"I refuse to answer that question."

"Did you ever stay all night with Mister Urashima in the kitchen?"

"No...oops, …. Aaauuuuu!" Shinobu again blushes three shades of red.

Motoko's pent up rage explodes, and she leaps the benches as she rushes towards the front of the court "Urashima! You fowl deciliter, er, I mean, you foul deceiving male! I shall end your lecherous, vile, perverted ways with my bare hands! Prepare to fac..."

Motoko's body suddenly shudders, and her hands reach up, her fists smack herself in the side of her head four times, and then, as if against their own will, they press against the choke points on her neck, causing her to faint.

THUNK!

She hits the floor like a sack of wet rice.

The stunned courtroom stares at the prone sword maiden, and then at Bailiff Rhatt.

Bugsy stands there, a stun gun in his hand. Laughing a bit, he says, "Oops, I had the silly thing on 'knock-down drag-out' instead of 'stun'. Sorry, sorry everyone." He then takes a penknife and notches the handle of the stun gun _(At this rate, I'll break the precinct record for sure!)._

After the bailiffs wake the unconscious sword maiden and assist her back to her seat, the bengoshi prepares his next witness. "I call Miss Mutsumi Otohime to the stand."

"Miss Otohime, please repeat after me, 'I swear by Almighty God' ..."

"I swear by Almighty God."

"That the evidence that I give ..."

"That's right."

"Repeat it."

"It."

"No! Repeat what I said."

"What you said when?"

"That the evidence that I give ..."

"That the evidence that I give."

"Shall be the truth and' ..."

"It will, and nothing but the truth!"

"Please. Just repeat after me, 'Shall be the truth and' ..."

"I'm not a scholar, you know."

"We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me, 'Shall be the truth and' ..."

"Shall be the truth and."

"Say, 'Nothing' ..."

"Okay." Mutsumi remains silent.

"No! Don't say nothing. Say, 'Nothing but the truth' ..."

"Yes."

"Can't you say, 'Nothing but the truth' ...?"

"Yes."

"Well? ... Do so."

"Oh, my. You're confusing me."

"Just say, 'Nothing but the truth' ..."

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I understand." Mutsumi sits there and smiles at the bengoshi .

"Then say it."

"What?"

"Nothing but the truth ..."

"But I do! That's just it."

"You must say, 'Nothing but the truth' ..."

"I will say nothing but the truth!" She gives the thumbs-up sign to the girls, who all facefault.

"Please, just repeat these four words 'Nothing', 'But', 'The', 'Truth'.

"What? You mean, like, now?"

"Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words."

"Nothing. But. The. Truth"

"Thank you."

"Oh, dear, I'm just not a scholar you know"

Wiping the sweat from his brow, the bengoshi continues.

"Miss Otohime, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which was sent to you?

"Oh my, no. This is how I dress every day.

The entire courtroom sweatdrops as the bengoshi does a face plant.

"Alright. Now that we finally have that out of he way. Miss Otohime, please tell the court. How long have you been a resident of the Hinata-sou Apartments"

"I have been a resident at Hinata-sou for four months."

"And can you tell us, Miss Otohime, at any time during those four months, has the plaintiff, Mr. Urashima, ever done anything that could be considered of a sexual or perverted nature?"

Mutsumi puts a finger to her chin as she tilts her head. "Hmmm, let me see. Was that as in done to me, to Kei-kun, or to anyone particular?" She says, winking at Naru, who blushes two shades of red, deepening to three as the rest of the court follows Mutsumi's gaze.

"Just against yourself for now, Miss Otohime."

"Yes, he has." A vein throbs gently on Naru's forehead.

"Could you describe some of the things Mr. Urashima has done to you?"

"Oh, yes. Sometimes Kei-kun is very playful and frisky, especially right after he wakes up." The throbbing becomes almost audible, as Naru's fists clench. "And he always seems to want some of my melons." Mutsumi lifts her melons up to the edge of the witness stand. "Poor baby, he hasn't had any of my melons for over a week."

The Magistrate directs Bailiff Weezel to grab Mutsumi's melons and place them on the table with the two from last Friday. _(Where does she carry those things?)_ she wonders.

The bengoshi continues. "Miss Otohime, has Mr. Urashima ever attempted to remove any of your clothing while you were wearing it?

"Oh, my, no."

"Never, Miss Otohime? Are you sure?"

"Well, there was that one time Kei-kun came out of the laundry room wearing one of my dresses. He looked so darling in it." Naru's vein throbs even harder.

"So, Mr. Urashima wore your clothing on a regular basis, Miss Otohime, is that correct?"

"No. Just that one time after he crashed through the wall of the laundry room."

"And why did Mr. Urashima crash through that wall?"

"Well, it was after Naru-san walked in on him while he was bathing. She punched him through the wall, and Kei-kun ended up in my clothes." The vein on Naru's head grows as she remembers the incident, as the bengoshi continues his questioning.

"And Miss Narusegawa punched him because he exposed himself to her? Is that right?"

"No. He pulled her skirt off, that's why she punched him."

Naru's fist clenches, her knuckles cracking loud enough to be heard throughout the courtroom.

"So, he attempted to attack and disrobe Miss Narusegawa, and she defended herself?"

"No, actually Naru-san was attacking Kei-kun for not studying with her the night before."

"She attacked him because he did NOT study with her?"

"Oh yes. And Kei-kun fell out of his tub when he tried to back up and apologize, and he tripped on a bar of soap, and when he fell, his hand reached out and grabbed Naru-san's skirt, and, well, you can see why she would hit him. He crashed through the wall, and landed on my clothes. Which was lucky, you see. Naru-san had knocked the towel off of the poor dear."

"Whoa, wait a minute. Are you saying Miss Narusegawa attacked and disrobed HIM?" The bengoshi looks over at Naru with a 'Why wasn't I told this before' look in his eyes. Naru sweatdrops as she shrugs her shoulders and tries to look innocent through her anger.

"Oh, dear, yes. Naru-san must've knocked Kei-kun out of his towel at least twenty times that I saw.

"Yes. Well. Hmmm. Alright, Miss Otohime. Did Mr. Urashima ever attempt to kiss or fondle you?"

"No, although he can if he wants to. I did kiss Kei-kun once. I do try to peck him on the cheek at least once a week, poor baby."

The vein on her forehead throbs like a ticking bomb, and Naru sees only red in her mind, and that red is blood dripping from all over Keitaro's body.

The bengoshi turns and looks at Keitaro. "Why 'poor baby'?"

"Because no one else at Hinata-sou ever kisses him, even though they all like Kei-kun. I feel sorry for the poor dear."

Looking at the girls, the bengoshi asks, "Are you telling the court that all the defendants LIKE Mr. Urashima?"

………………

After a few moments of silence, he turns back to the melon-girl. "Miss Otohime, please answer the . . . MY GOD, she's dead!"

Mutsumi is lying back in her chair with her eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.

Su jumps over and pokes Mutsumi with a stick. "Nah, she's just fainted again. Happens all the time."

The bengoshi and Magistrate look at the unconscious melon-lady, and then at Keitaro.

Keitaro says "Uh, I, hmmm. Well, I have no questions, your honor. But, I would like to add something, if I may."

The Magistrate looks at the confused bengoshi, who shrugs his shoulders "Eh, sure, I'm game."

Keitaro stands, trying to hide is shaking hands. "Muts-, I mean, Miss Otohime, was correct except for one thing. I never accidentally wore her dress." Rubbing the back of his head and blushing, he says "She was protecting me. It, ah, was actually Miss N-Narusegawa's dress I accidentally had on that day."

"You lousy pervert! Wearing my clothes! Wait til I get my hands on you, I'll kill you!" Naru leaps from her chair, flames surrounding her, flowing from her eyes.

She rushes towards Keitaro, arm raised to deliver a patented Naru-Punch. Keitaro backs up against the rail and, with his hands raised in front of him, braces himself for impact "I forgive you, please forgive me!" he whispers.

Unknown and uncontrolled by Keitaro, power wells up from within him, formed clean and pure by his compassion for the girls he cares for, strengthening his body against the pain he is about to endure.

Or, it could just be the breakfast burrito he had at the court commissary that morning. "urp!" Yep, it was just the burrito.

However, before Naru reaches him, she yelps in pain and collapses, missing her target. Lying on the floor, she clutches her side as she stares at the bailiff.

Bailiff Weezel stands there, holding an electric cattle prod in one gloved hand while smacking the tip of it in his other glove. Slip raises his index finger, wiggles it back and forth, and says, "Uh uh uh! Doctor Ishido warned me that you might need a 'bit of control' if Mr. Urashima said something that made you, well, fly off the handle. I normally use a night stick, but," and he pats the cattle prod affectionately "she recommended this as more likely to be effective."

Hikari snickers from her seat beside Haruka, who is hiding her own giggles behind one hand. "Do you think Naru and Motoko will be more restrained now?" Hikari whispers to Haruka.

"If I know those two, not a chance." Haruka murmurs, smiling as she crossing her arms in front of her. "Besides, it does relieve the tedium of the court, wondering who's gonna get zinged next."

"I have to admit, though. I wish I had thought of the stun gun myself. Haruka, you are such a bad girl!"

"I know."

Suddenly, Mutsumi stands up. "My name is Mutsumi Otohime, criminal defendant. My name is Mutsumi Otohime, criminal defendant."

Looking around, she sees Naru on the floor, and Keitaro backed up against the witness stand. Reaching out, she hugs Keitaro from behind and kisses him on the cheek. "Ara ara. Did I miss something, Kei-kun? You look like a little deer, caught in a monster truck's high-beams."

All the girls sweat drop. The Magistrate thinks (Oh, Keitaro-san, you poor deer, uh, I mean dear.) Looking at the clock, she bangs her gavel "The court will be in recess until 1:00 PM for lunch."

As everyone rises, the Magistrate asks, "Mister Urashi-, uh, I mean Keitaro-san, would you please remain in the court for a moment, please?"

"Y-yes, your honor."

As they leave, Kitsune hears the Magistrate's request, and turns back to see her licking her lips seductively, "Oh Spit, this ain't a good sign for our case."


	7. Chapter 7 Cougar and Prey

**Love Hina – Ronin Rescue**

**Chapter Seven – Cougar and Prey**

_As everyone rises, the Magistrate asks, "Mister Urashi-, uh, I mean Keitaro-san, would you please remain in the court for a moment, please?"_

"_Y-yes, your honor."_

_As they leave, Kitsune hears the Magistrate's request, and turns back to see her licking her lips seductively, "Oh Spit, this ain't a good sign for our case." _

**Monday Lunchtime**

After waiting for the courtroom to clear, the Magistrate turns to Keitaro. Smiling, she removes her glasses to wipe them. "I must tell you, Keitaro-san, that, as a lawyer, your skills are virtually non-existent. However, you appear to at least have your heart in the right place." She stares intently at Keitaro, although, without her glasses, all she sees is a blur.

Rubbing the back of his head, Keitaro grins. "Well, to be honest. I don't want the girls to get into any trouble. They don't mean to hurt anyone, and besides, I am their manager and their friend. I couldn't live with the guilt if they got into trouble when I could've prevented it, your Honor." Keitaro sweats as he looks at her deep blue eyes. _(Oh gods, she looks like an animal about to pounce on its prey!)_

Looking at the blur that is Keitaro with her wide eyes, the Magistrate put her glasses back on and adjusts them. _(I wonder if he noticed my eyes.)_ Coming down from her desk, she gestures for Keitaro to sit at the plaintiff's table, where she joins him.

"But Keitaro-san! What about all they've done to you? I've read your medical records for the last six months. No one could survive the injuries I read about, at least, not without severe physical and possibly mental disabilities." Again she stares intently at him, licking and wetting her lips as she looks him over like a piece of choice meat at the local butcher. "However, I must admit, you appear healthy and of relatively sound mind. Care to explain that?" She scoots her chair a little closer to his.

Slowly sliding his chair away from her, Keitaro answers, "I just heal real fast, that's all. The girls kid me, and say I'm invulnerable, but to be truthful, it sometimes hurts like heck when they attack me. Uh, I m-mean, when we p-play a little too r-rough, y-your Honor." Keitaro stutters, realizing he just admitted to the judge that the girls attack him.

After looking at him for a few moments, she smiles wickedly as she slides her chair a little closer to him again and says "Keitaro-san, please, the court is not in session right now. My name is Nasake Oshiro, but, if you want to, you can use my sister's nickname for me; Koneko."

_(Kitten? From that look, I'd say more like a cougar! Last thing I need is for the girls to hear me calling an older woman 'kitten'! I'm dead meat!)_Standing, Keitaro carries his chair to the opposite side of the table and sets it down before sitting again. "Uh, ok your-, ah, I mean Oshiro-sensei."

_(Oh-ho! He likes to play musical chairs, ne? I wonder what other games he likes to play?)_ Waving her hands up and down in front of her, she laughs heartily, "Oh, please no! That's what everyone always called my father. I'm not THAT old. Just call me Koneko, I insist!"

"Alright, K-Koneko-san" Keitaro blushes two shades of red, a trickle of blood threatening to drip from his nose. Although Koneko's at least thirty-five or forty years old, she giggles like a teenager and he did not miss how her 'ample endowment' shook when she shook her hands and laughed. _(I'm definitely dead.)_

**At that moment, at the dining room upstairs:**

"Aaauuuuu! Sempai!"...Why did I just say that? Shinobu wonders as she looks up from eating her sukiyaki.

While eating her soup, Naru's head snaps up and she murmurs "Why do I suddenly feel like punching something?"

Motoko drops her chopsticks and reaches for her sword at that same moment, which, she again notices, isn't there. _(Ooooooh! I'll kill that, that male!)_ "I know not what it is that I sense, but I am sure that vile, lecherous, deceitful, perverted Urashima is behind it! He still must answer to me for the taking of my sword by the police!"

**Back in the courtroom:**

"That's better. Now that we are friends, tell me. What exactly did you mean 'when they attack you'? Are they all responsible for the injuries I read about in your file?" Seeing Keitaro avoiding her, she contemplates whether to slide her chair left, right, or just leap over the table. _(Oh dear! What am I thinking? Why am I thinking it? And, what does Keitaro-san think? I think I'd like a snack, and I don't mean lunch!)_

"Do I have to answer? I mean, this is j-just a conversation between f-friends, right?" Keitaro asks, not sure if he should admit to anyone not already in the know about what mayhem goes on at Hinata-sou on an almost daily basis. He gulps as he notices Koneko appears tensed, like a wild animal about to pounce.

Smiling kindly, she says, "Keitaro-san. I want to be honest with you. Only tell me what you are comfortable saying. I really want to be your friend, but you must remember, I am also a sworn Magistrate. If you tell me anything incriminating, I cannot ignore it.

Keitaro thinks for a few moments, and then relents. For the next thirty minutes, he goes into a detailed account of his life at Hinata-sou ever since he became the manager there. His clumsiness around the girls is at the center of almost every incident where he describes being attacked. He emphasizes how the girls cannot help but think he is at fault, even if afterwards it turned out to be an accident or a misunderstanding.

Sighing, he completes his story by repeating to her what he has told Haruka over coffee on more than one occasion; "And I'm pretty sure they all like me, in spite of my stupidity and clumsiness. I just wish they'd say so, just once. Besides, I can't be angry at them for anything they've done to me. I know they're all good girls deep down."

Struggling to hold back tears of compassion for this young man, Koneko reaches out and grabs his hand. "Oh you poor dear! I don't think I've ever heard anyone as forgiving as you are." _(Now I know Keitaro needs to be protected! From himself and his overly-compassionate nature if nothing else! But, how can I help him without betraying the trust he has given me by telling his story?) _

Blushing, Keitaro scratches his cheek "I'd do anything to protect them."

"You are such a darling young man to be so loyal to your tenants and friends. However, you deserve a better situation than that." Koneko says as she licks her lips. _(Those eyes of his, they are so dreamy! I think I wouldn't mind a little snack, if only he weren't so obviously in love with all those girls. It's such a shame they and he can't see it for themselves.)_

Seeing the look in her eyes as she licks her lips again, _(Why does she remind me of Motoko's mother?) _Keitaro wonders.

**AN: See references to Motoko's mother (The Cougar!) in ****Love Hina – Inheritance by Hikari Ishido. Shameless plug for another author that helps me out**


	8. Chapter 8 Reflections and Another Ally

**Love Hina – Ronin Rescue**

**Chapter Eight – Reflections and another Ally**

"_You are such a darling young man to be so loyal to your tenants and friends. However, you deserve a better situation than that." Koneko says as she licks her lips. __**(Those eyes of his, they are so dreamy! I think I wouldn't mind a little snack, if only he weren't so obviously in love with all those girls. It's such a shame they and he can't see it for themselves.)**_

_Seeing the look in her eyes as she licks her lips again, __**(Why does she remind me of Motoko's mother?) **__Keitaro wonders._

**Monday, past Noon, upstairs in the courthouse dining area:**

Kitsune points across the crowded dining area and whispers, "Hey, ya'll, look! There's Keitaro! And after only forty minutes with the Magistrate! I wonder if she gave him the third degree, or maybe third degree burns?' she laughs coldly as she turns back to her lunch.

Keitaro, after the strange but grueling session with Koneko-san, er, the Magistrate, wants nothing more than a soothing cup of tea and some rice to calm his nerves. After he gets a small bowl of rice and a cup of tea from the server, he enters the dining area. After standing there for a minute looking for an empty table, a familiar face waves to him, motioning him to have a seat. He gratefully accepts the offer and walks over to their table.

Naru responds to Kitsune without looking at Keitaro, so she misses seeing where he goes.

"Stupid baka! He was probably telling the Magistrate all kinda lies about us." Naru seethes with anger as she glares at their so-called kanrinin. _(And since when does Hikari give out strange recommendations for restraining people? That's something I'd've expected from Haruka.)_

Motoko, still aching from the two 'submissions' to stun gun that morning, isn't so sure. "I would not put it past him. However, his failure to request counsel, and the fact he has not contested any of our statements so far, leads me to wonder what his ultimate plan may be."

Shinobu, in an uncharacteristic glare, stares at the three older girls. She thinks to herself _(I know what my Sempai is trying to do. He loves us, and wants to take all the blame, just like he always does. And you all are so wrapped up in making him the bad guy that's exactly what's going to happen!)_

"Aaauuuuu! You all just don't understand! S-Sempai wants to lose! Can't you s-see that? B-but I don't t-think he knows that if he loses, we'll l-lose him!" Shinobu breaks down in tears at the thought of her Sempai giving up on himself so that they wouldn't get blamed for all the attacks on him.

"Lose Keitaros? How? And who'll plays with me? Motoko can't take a decent hit like Keitaros can and come back fer more. Maybes I needs to try my Mecha-tamas on somebodys else." Su looks around the table seeing the scared looks being returned to her grinning face.

Mutsumi, finishing a plate of noodles, looks at them "Oh my! Shinobu-chan may have something. If Kei-kun loses, we'll have to leave because Hinata-sou belongs to his family, and the court can't kick him out of what essentially belongs to him, even though he's only our kanrinin."

Silence descends on their table. Naru has twinges of understanding, guilt and longing _(Oh gods, she's right! We'll be separated from Keitaro! But, that can't happen! I may think he's two-time ronin pervert, but, I'm kinda used to being near him now! ) _The compassionate side of Naru's brain sneaks up and clobbers the self-preservationist side. _(I kinda like him….Like him? Maybe, maybe even…)_

"Kami-sama help us! The melon lady's right! If we win, we lose our home! But, if Keitaro-san wins, we'll lose our home as well! He'll most likely have us evicted from Hinata-sou. Spit, why didn't we think this through?" Kitsune states. "We need to figure out some way to make Keitaro want us back, and not him or us in trouble!"

Motoko, her face paler, looks across the dining area, and points a shaking finger towards a far table "The point of whom Urashima or may not want may have been made irrelevant. Look!"

Everyone looks at where the sword maiden is pointing. They see Keitaro is sitting and talking with a stunning redhead. As they watch, she reaches out, hugs and holds on to him for so long that they get embarrassed just watching, and turn away.

"I fear that, whether we win or lose, Urashima has already planned to go on with his life without us in it!"

"I'm not hungry anymore. Let's go back to the waiting room" Naru says meekly.

As they leave, Naru and Motoko glance at Keitaro, only to see the redheaded girl glaring at them with unhidden anger.

**A few minutes ago, at Keitaro's table**

Blushing from the hug and peck on the cheek, Keitaro sits. "Yaya-chan, thank you for inviting me over. We haven't had any time to talk since you graduated from the Academy and got posted back here to Hinata."

Yasumiko Murayama sits back down to her roast beef sandwich, "Thanks Kei-chan. It's good to be back. We didn't stay in touch much after your family moved into Tokyo. You were my best friend after Hinata-sou closed and Granny Hina left. How's she doing, by the way?"

"Oh, Granny is touring the world. She wants to try as many hot springs as she can before she comes back to Hinata-sou. She sends letters and photos once in a while of the places she and Kanako-chan visit."

"Nako-chan went with her? Well, Granny Hina always was able to handle her better than your mom and dad could. Must be nice having family with her while she travels, though."

"Yeah. And by the way, Hinata-sou is open again. About a year and a half ago, Granny opened up the main building as an all-girl dormitory. Six months ago, she asked me to become the manager there while she goes hot spring hopping."

Yasumiko giggles. "Oh no! You, in charge of an all-GIRL dormitory? What in the world was Granny Hina thinking?"

Keitaro grins and rubs his head as he looks at her. "I wonder that almost every day. She said she just wanted to keep the management of Hinata-sou in the family, and that I was the best choice available. More likely, the only choice."

"Oh, Kei-chan, don't put yourself down! I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job up there. I'm just concerned that you've been left all by yourself around a bunch of girls." Yasumiko tilts her head and bats her eyelashes at Keitaro, "I seem to remember how you react around most girls. And now, to be surrounded by them? It's gotta be a little rough." Yasumiko giggles again.

Seeing the humor in spite of himself, he smiles as he replies, "Rough? Well, I wouldn't describe it that simply! Torture; mayhem; daily beheadings, always my head; so on and so on. You know, just an average life, I guess. And those are the good days!"

Yasumiko stares at him.

"No, no, Yaya-chan, I was just kidding. Most of the time, it's actually rather pleasant. Although, they still haven't quite accepted having a man as their manager, it's getting better. So, don't worry about me."

"Whew! You actually had me worried for a second. But, you also have to remember that I was the first officer on the scene the other day after you little 'flight'. That's why I'm here today. I may have to give my testimony this afternoon."

Keitaro thinks for a minute. "Yaya-chan. Could I ask you something?"

"Anything. What is it?"

"Can you tell me, honestly, what do you think about them? The girls, I mean?"

Yasumiko thinks for a second, then replies. "Well, I've heard a bit about them since I got my posting a few weeks ago. Most people say they are all nice girls, although that one with the sword, what's her name, Aoyama-san?" She looks at Keitaro, who nods his head "Well, most people give her a wide berth, but that's because she carries that sword everywhere she goes. My supervisor says that her school applied for a special permit for her, so it isn't illegal for her to be around town with it. Overall, she seems to be well respected around Hinata, and not just because she carries that kendo stick with her."

Keitaro nods, but adds, "I, ah, I wouldn't use the word 'kendo' around her. She's kinda sensitive being described as an amateur rather than the sword master she is."

"Thanks for the heads-up, I'll keep that in mind. Now, the younger ones, Kaolla-san and Maehara-san, they are both well liked everywhere in town. Although Kaolla-san seems to always be on some kinda sugar rush, Maehara-san is virtually her opposite, quite and withdrawn. Together, they are quite a pair."

Keitaro again nods, "Well, Su-chan, she's loaded with technological ideas. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff she comes up with."

"You forget, I saw that Mecha-Turtle.."

"Mecha-Tama, actually."

"Whatever. I saw it chasing you that day. You're telling me that that little snip of a thing built it herself?"

"I told you that you wouldn't believe me. Yes, she does it all the time."

"Hmmm. I wonder if she can program my VCR for me?"

Keitaro smiles at past attempts at 'fixing' or 'repairing' regular appliances by the girl from Molmol. "I'd recommend against it. Unless you want a VCR-slash-missile launcher-slash- Kami knows what!"

"Ah, good point. Where was I?"

"Shinobu-chan. She's our cook. Her parents went through an ugly divorce, and she's staying at the inn so she doesn't have to change schools. She was pretty withdrawn when she first moved in, but she's become more comfortable with herself and being around crowds since then."

"Right. Let's see. Oh, that lady from Okinawa, Otohime-san? Except for walking around with watermelons, and a tendency to fall asleep almost everywhere, she's considered a very polite person."

Keitaro smiles, "Well, it's not exactly sleeping. She's anemic, and she's prone to fainting spells. Scared me the first couple of times it happened. She actually seems to stop breathing, and her pulse gets so weak you'd think she was dead. Then suddenly, she's sitting up, wide awake and acting like nothing had happened."

"I'll have to remember that when I see her around. Then, there's that free-lance writer, Konno-san. Spends a lot of time in bars and going to the local betting parlor, but everyone likes her. She's rarely totally drunk in public, and there have never been any reports of rude conduct about her."

Keitaro "Kitsune is really kind at heart. She does have a tendency to drink, but it's lessened quite a bit these last couple of months. She is a terrible flirt, however….."

When Keitaro doesn't go into detail, Yasumiko winks and nudges him in the ribs. "Now don't tell me you're gonna leave me hanging with that! Tell me, what exactly kinda flirting does she do? Details, Kei-chan, I want details!"

Keitaro blushes three shades, and vigorously rubs the back of his head. "W-well, you see. Sometimes, if she's a little short on spending money, or needs a few extra days to pay her rent, she, ah, er…well, she'll get an extension by, uh, that is, she tells me, ah, uh…." taking a deep breath "One feel for one month's free rent."

Yasumiko turns on her 'doe eyes', giving Keitaro her most innocent look. Waving one hand at him, she says "Oh dear! The nosebleeds you must have gone through these last few months! Poor Kei-chan!" before she breaks down laughing at his expression "Oh, that's precious! The look on your face! Ha-ha-ha, oh, Kei-chan, you poor thing!"

Keitaro, knowing he's being teased, sees the humor and laughs along with her.

After they settle down, he asks, "What about Narusegawa?"

"Hmmm. She's the odd-one out. She doesn't seem to go out much, other than short trips to the market with Maehara-san. Just travels back and forth from her prep school. People who do know her says she looks like two different people, depending on when they see her; either the owlish bookworm, or the attractive but moody young lady."

Under his breath, Keitaro murmurs, "She's moody no matter how she's dressed, especially if it's only a towel or her underwear."

Hearing him, and feigning embarrassed surprise, Yasumiko puts a hand over her mouth to hide her grin. She waggles her other hand at him. "Why, Kei-chan! So you have been a naughty little boy, peeking in on young women! Oh my, you seem to have grown up to be quite the pervert."

This, however, does not get the response she expected from Keitaro, either of laughing nervously or outright denying it.

Keitaro, his conversation and admission to Koneko still fresh in his mind, stops eating his rice, and slowly lowers his chopsticks as his hand starts to shake. He drops his head into his hands.

Her attempt at levity forgotten, Yasumiko can only stare at the sudden transformation her childhood friend has just undergone: From lightly joking to totally withdrawn.

Reaching out slowly, she places her hand on his chin and lifts it so she can see his face. She is unprepared for the tear she sees falling from his eye. "Oh Keitaro! What has happened to you? What have they done to you?"

Struggling, Keitaro says "That's what she always calls me, even, even though it's always accidental. She calls me a p-pervert and then they, t-they hit me for it!"

She reaches out and pulls Keitaro to her, holding him as he struggles to keep the tears from breaking loose in the flood that threatens to fall. "I'm so sorry, Kei-chan, I am so sorry. I didn't know, I never thought it was that hard for you. Forgive me, Kei-chan, oh please forgive me." She holds him and whispers words of comfort while he regains his composure.

Keitaro is unaware as the girls are leaving, but Yasumiko sees Naru and Motoko looking their way.

Her protectiveness for her friend over-rides her police training, and she gives prep school girl and the sword maiden vicious glares as they leave the dining area. _(I swear I'll do what I can to protect you from those ungrateful idiots, my friend.)_

They stay that way until Keitaro brings his emotions under control again. Giving her a weak smile, "Thanks Yaya-chan. You don't know how much I needed a hug just now. Please, don't think badly of the girls. Promise you won't say anything about this to them?" He begs.

Unwillingly, she agrees, "I'll promise, Kei-chan. But only so far as nothing like that ever happens again while I'm around. I can't guarantee what'll happen after that." Keitaro accepts her promise and it's conditions.

Looking into his eyes, Yasumiko sadly says "I wish there was more that I could do for you, my friend. But, you know my preferences." Grinning wickedly at him, "Although, as a man, you are very attractive to me."

Tilting her head to the side and putting a finger to her chin, she decides to tease him a bit; "Of course, I could dress you up in some of my clothes." She looks him up and down in an appraising way. "I think I have something that would look good on you. Then we could pretend you're my girlfriend. I even have some lilac perfume you could wear."

Keitaro sits up straight, hands out, laughing a little. "N-no way! It's bad enough my tenants all think I'm a pervert. But if they ever heard that I intentionally wore women's clothing, I'd be dead before I knew what hit me!"

"Just kidding, Kei-chan. But, if I ever had to choose a man, you would be the only one on my list. It's a shame my door doesn't swing that way. But, I guess that's why you are so comfortable around me, and that makes up for it. I do like you, Kei-chan, as my friend."

"I like you, too, Yaya-chan." Glancing at the clock; "We'd better finish our lunch. We have to be back downstairs in 15 minutes."

"OK. I hope everything goes well for you this afternoon." Yasumiko smiles as she picks up her sandwich.

"Thanks. I just hope I can keep the girls from getting into any trouble over all this." Keitaro replies.


	9. Chapter 9 Here Comes da Judgement

**Love Hina – Ronin Rescue**

**Chapter Nine – Here comes da Judgement**

"_OK. I hope everything goes well for you this afternoon." Yasumiko smiles as she picks up her sandwich._

"_Thanks. I just hope I can keep the girls from getting into any trouble over all this." Keitaro replies._

**Monday Afternoon**

After everyone returns from lunch, they are again waiting in the entrance area. Haruka and Hikari are sitting with Keitaro again, their turns for taking the stand slated for the afternoon. Unfortunately, as far as the girls are concerned in Keitaro's case, Yasumiko is also sitting beside him, since she is to testify this afternoon as well.

Haruka turns to the redhead "Yasa-chan, Keitaro told me you were back from academy. How are you?"

Bowing from her seat, "I am doing quite well, Haruka-san, thank you. Kei-chan and I have been getting reacquainted over lunch today."

Keitaro nods "Yaya-chan's been our new local police officer for a few weeks. I didn't know that until last week's incident."

"Yasa-chan? Yaya-chan?" asks Hikari, wondering who the girl is.

Haruka replies, her hand out to Hikari; "Yasumiko, may I introduce Doctor Hikari Ishido, of the Hinata Clinic. Hikari, this is Yasumiko Murayama of the Hinata Police Force and an old child-hood friend of Keitaro's."

They both bow, "I am pleased to meet you Murayama-sama. Any childhood friend of Kei-Kei is a friend of mine."

"Thank you, Ishido-sensei. Please, call me Yasumiko. And, Kei-Kei?" she asks, a questioning look in her eyes.

"Ah, Keitaro and I are also old childhood friends. It seems to be his fate that he runs into his childhood FEMALE friends now that he is manager of Hinata-sou. And please, call me Hikari, Yasumiko-san." The doctor smiles as she reaches out her hand.

Taking it, Yasumiko shakes it "All of his FEMALE friends?" looking at Haruka.

"Yes. It seems that Naru Narusegawa, Mutsumi Otohime and, to a smaller extent, Motoko Aoyama were also friends of Keitaro years ago. The first two stayed at Hinata Inn at the same time and were close playmates with Keitaro, while Keitaro and Motoko met for a few days when our family visited hers at the Shinmei School in Kyoto."

Sarcastically, Yasumiko asks, "And I suppose that Narusegawa person used to beat Kei-chan back then as well?"

Crickets chirp.

"Please tell me she didn't!"

Haruka, laughing, say, "Well, maybe not like now, but she would kick him in the shins anytime another girl would play with him. She was very possessive of him back then."

"Oh. Well, tell me something I didn't know." Yasumiko smiles at Keitaro.

Keitaro rubs the back of his head as he blushes a bit, "Uh, I'm still sitting right here, you know, Aunt Haruka."

Insert one giant paper fan crashing down on Keitaro's head.

"That's just Haruka. We know you're here. That's why telling these stories are more enjoyable. We can see you squirm a bit." Grinning, Haruka pats his arm. "Just kidding, Keitaro."

**Meanwhile, on the other side of the waiting area;**

The girls all stare as Keitaro and that redhead he was having lunch with enter their side of the waiting area.

As proof positive that clear glass does not imply clear vision, they all once again totally misinterpret what they see.

"It seems that the girl we saw Keit-, uh, I mean Urashima talking with at lunch is now accompanying him to the courtroom. My, uh, I mean our situation is worse than I had imagined." Motoko says, her voice catching slightly.

"But, we aren't sure there is anything going on between them. Are we? I mean, none of us have ever seen her before, so how could he have had time to get into ANY kinda relationship?" Naru says, hoping to convince herself against what her eyes are telling her, with little success.

"Well, I don't know about us knowing her, but it sure seems Haruka does! Look at how friendly she is, talking with her. Oh Spit! And that girl just smiled and bowed. Haruka musta just said something real nice to her! This ain't good!" Kitsune says, wringing her hands.

"Aaauuuuu! Now Haruka's introducing her to Hikari-san! S-Sempai, why? Why won't you forgive us!" Shinobu cries, convinced she has lost her last chance to win over her Sempai. "Aiiiieeee! Now she and Hikari are shaking hands! Aaauuuuu!"

"She's gonnas steal our Keitaros away froms us? We gotta stops her. We saw him first! He's our playmate! Let me at her, I'll teaches her to steal our man!" Su exclaims, as Motoko has to hold her to keep her from attacking the glass separating them from Keitaro's side. "Su-chan, please! We must avoid getting into any more trouble." Motoko looks around warily to see if anyone nearby is carrying a stun gun.

A minute later, after helping calm Su down, Mutsumi looks over at Keitaro. "Oh dear, now that girl is smiling at Keitaro, and look, he's blushing! Oh my, that's not a good sign."

Naru "And Haruka just hit him with her fan! Idiot must have called her 'Aunt' again. But, now she's stroking his arm while…she's smiling at that girl! Like she approves of her! Oh no, Keitaro! Please, please tell me you haven't given up on us already?" Naru whimpers, a tear falling down her cheek.

As they sit there, convinced Keitaro has decided to go on with his life without them, the ushers open the doors and direct everyone to re-enter the courtroom for the afternoon session.

After the Magistrate calls the session to order, while pointing her gavel at Su to make sure she stays in her seat and is quiet, "Will the bengoshi for the defense please continue."

The bengoshi prepares to start his final rounds of questions.

"Would Miss Kaolla Su please take the stand?"

Su bounds over from her seat. Trying to not be surprised by anything (especially after the morning's proceedings), the clerk swears her in and the lawyer starts his questioning.

"Miss Kaolla. You have been a resident of the Hinata-sou apartments for a little over a year and a half. How long have you known Mister Urashima?"

"I've known Keitaros for six months, your worthiness." Su says, pointing at Keitaro.

"Just address me as sir, not 'your worthiness', if you please, Miss Kaolla."

"Okies dokies, Mister Sir, sir!"

"Er, yes. Now, can you tell the court? Has Mister Urashima ever, in your presence, behaved in a matter inconsistent with his duties as the manager of Hinata-sou?"

"Sures, I can tells the court that stuff."

Crickets chirp. After a few moments,

"Uh, then would you please tell the court about Mister Urashima's behavior?"

"Oh, why did't'cha says so. Keitaros is always doing things managers ain't supposed to do. Every day, justs abouts. He's always panty-peeking on Naru, and trying to pulls the clotheses off the rest of us. Why, just the other day, Keitaros was walking through the kitchen, and suddenly he" "Aaauuuuu!" THUNK! "Well, Shinobu's fainted again. Don't worry, she's just overacting. That incident with her skirt was two weeks agos. This all happened the day, wells, it happened on the days when the G-Man, er I means policewoman, caught us chasing Keitaro."

"Please, just explain the incident, Miss Kaolla."

"Sure. Keitaros was coming outta the kitchen when he rans into Shinobu. Or she ran into him. Anyways, they fell, and Keitaro grabbed her."

"So, Mister Urashima attempted to grab Miss Maehara inappropriately, is that correct?"

Shinobu awakens from her faint and continues to listen to Su's testimony.

"Nopesies. Keitaros was protecting Shinobu when they fell. He helds onto her and took the blow withs his own head. Shinobu wasn't hurts at all."

"Mister Urashima PROTECTED Miss Maehara? But, but…"

"Yeah, and thens, Shinobu kissed him rights on the lips! Real un-managerly-likes."

"Aaauuuuu! I pee'd!" THUNK!

"Timbars! Fire in da hole! Man down, er girl down, girl down. All units responds, repeat, we has a girl down!" Su pulls a remote control out, points it at Shinobu and presses a button. A dozen mecha-tamas fly through the open windows. Su's eyes go wide as she sees that the wrong mechas have arrived.

"Uh-Spit! Theys ain't my nurse tamas. Thems my flamethrower-tamas! Quick, get Shinobu outta here, theys on cremate mode!" Su jumps over, trying to distract the mecha-tamas by throwing the remote control at them, with no effect. Their mouths open and flame tubes appear. The girls scramble to try covering or removing the young cook from being flame-roasted.

Shinobu opens her eyes just as the mecha-tamas line up to fire at her. She feels the heat from their cannons start to tingle against her skin, and she clamps her eyes shut and whispers "s-sempai, save me!"

Suddenly, she feels herself pulled from the group of girls and carried bridal-style. Someone is running with her in their arms. Opening one eye, she sees Keitaro rushing her around the courtroom, evading the mecha-tamas; "Su! Quick, what are they locked onto?" he yells.

Shinobu squirms to make herself as small a target as possible, almost all thoughts of being held by her Sempai forgotten in her fear. Not quite all, however, as she buries her face in his chest, feeling his warmth and breathing deeply of his smell. _(Imgonnadie, but I'm so happyyyyy!)_

Su thinks a second, "They is attracted by uniques pheromones and olfactory emissions thats the targeted subjects emits." She cries to him.

Keitaro sweatdrops as he dodges the mecha-tamas. "In plain language Su!"

Mutsumi, "Oh dear! Her smell, Kei-kun. The mecha-tamas are attracted to Shinobu-chan's body smell!"

Looking down at her, Keitaro begs Shinobu "Please forgive me, Shinobu-chan!" as he rips her skirt and shirt off her, leaving her in her teddy-bear t-shirt and panties. He tosses the young cook to Motoko, then leaps straight at the following mecha-tamas, waiving Shinobu's clothes in front of them. _(I hope this works. The girls are gonna kill me for this, and Shinobu will never forgive me.)_ A small drop of blood drips from his nose _(t-teddy bears?)_

The mecha-tamas turn and follow Keitaro. He leaps onto a table to make a jump for the window sill, hoping to toss the clothes out and let the mechas follow them.

True to form, however, Keitaro trips over the edge of the skirt in his hand, and mis-leaps, landing on top of Yasumiko sitting the corner of the courtroom, crashing her chair and sending them both to the ground.

A dozen flame-cannons open up and fire. Keitaro, seeing the fear in Yasumiko's eyes, rolls over and throws her away from the danger zone just before impact. "Oh, heck!" Twelve balls of fiery death crash into Keitaro, slamming him through the wall into the waiting area.

Everyone stares through the smoke at what they assume to be the scorched, dead body of an unfortunate but brave young man.

'cough-cough', (heavy panting) 'cough'. A figure moves out of the smoke, stepping through the hole in the wall. Keitaro appears, one hand on the opening in the wall, the other at his throat. His shirt and jacket are stained, and smoke rises from his scorched pants. Smiling lopsidedly, he asks, "What did 'cough' you put in that batch, Su? 'cough' High-octane jet fuel? Heh-heh 'cough-cough'."

Su jumps up and smiles "Ya noticed? That's real sweet of yas, Keitaros!"

Everyone in the court face faults.

In the silence that follows, someone releases gas in a high-pitched squeak. Shinobu looks wildly around, her face blushing three shades of red. She raises a trembling hand and points at Kitsune. "S-she made me do it! Aaauuuuu!"

Naru rushes over to Keitaro to see if he is alright. At the last moment, she stops, remembering that he disrobed Shinobu. Rearing back to deliver a Naru-punch, she yells, "You Pervert! How dare you take Shinobu's clothes off? She's only in middle school!"

Suddenly, Naru feels someone grab her upraised arm, twist it, and throw her to the ground. She feels a foot planted on her chest. As she looks up, she sees the redheaded girl they saw Keitaro eating lunch with standing over her. "And just what the heck were you planning to do? Kei-chan just saved that girl's life, and you're attacking him for it?"

Unwilling to give in to this, this kanrinin-stealer, Naru grabs her ankle and twists it, throwing Yasumiko to the floor. They both jump up, face each other, and rear back to deliver their best punches.

"No, don't! Naru, Yasumiko! Stop!" Keitaro calls out, unheard by either young woman. As he rushes forward, he trips, hands reaching out to stop his fall. Feeling something in each hand, he reluctantly looks up. Pink and green panties meet his gaze, as blood trickles from his nose _(Kei-chan pulled my slacks off?)_ _(That lousy pervert, can't resist pulling my skirt off, even in court!)_ Thrown off-balance, the two fists miss their intended targets and….well, you know.

"Oh heck!" Two punches, primed and ready, greet Keitaro's upturned face, sending him back through the hole he just came through. "Why does this always happen to me?" he muses as he rubs both sides of his jaw.

Naru blows on her fist, and turns to look at the redhead girl, who is no longer there. She looks around for her and, to her embarrassment, spots her already at Keitaro's side.

Yasumiko was stunned that she had just accidentally hit Keitaro. "Kami-sama! Kei-chan, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" She rushes through the hole to cradle her friend in her arms.

Naru and the other girls stand there, frozen at the sight of the redhead holding their Keitaro in her arms. Again!

The redhead's words echo in Naru's mind; _**"And just what the heck were you planning to do? Kei-chan just saved that girl's life, and you're attacking him for it?"**_ Narus hand goes to her mouth as she stifles a gasp. _(Kei-chan? T-that sounds like a nickname between old friends! Kami-sama! How long have they been seeing each other?)_

As the court attempts to get everyone settled back to something resembling normal, the Magistrate contemplates something. _(Keitaro-san was just hit with a dozen fireballs, blown through a wall, and walked away virtually unscathed. Then, he gets hyper-punched by two girls, and still he gets up. How many times has he really been attacked by these females? How much strength and stamina does Keitaro-san have anyways?)_ The last thought accompanies another round of Koneko licking her lips.

In spite of the strangeness going on, order is soon restored. The bengoshi continues his questioning of Su, although the court just witnessed what seems to go on at the Hinata apartments.

Looking through his notes, he comes across an incident. "Miss Kaolla, in addition to Mister Urashima's actions towards his tenants, have you ever witnessed any actions he may have made toward animals at Hinata-sou?"

"Wells, Keitaros is always trying to feeds the wildlife around the dorms. And, he's real protectives of Tama-chan, our hot springs turtle. He evens has what looked like a pinkish turtle he hides in his rooms I seen one times."

"Can you describe this 'pink' turtle that you claim you saw hiding in Mister Urashima's room?"

"It was a whomper, your lawyership, sir! It's exactliness was exactlies like Tama-Chan, even thoughs I only ever saw its head! It was peeking outs from Keitaro's futon while he was sleeping and it must've been on alert because it was all stiff and stuff. Its neck was over half a foot long and" THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! ". . . eh? Motoko's fainted again. Go figures. Well, she is afraid of turtles, ya knows. Course, that don'ts explain why Shinobu and da judge passed outs too."

"Uh, Miss Kaolla, you aren't going to, er, call for backup again, are you?"

"Nah, I busted my remote. I coulds call some in by cellphones if ya gots one. OK?"

"NO!" everyone in the court yells as one.

"Wow, that's was like all Dolby Stereo 5000!"

After everyone is revived and had a chance to compose themselves, the Magistrate decides that, unless she hears something to the contrary, the girls are in for it. From appearances so far, Keitaro-san has done nothing to warrant the abuse he's received, even if he's clumsy. But those girls! THEY obviously see nothing wrong with the way they've treated him.

The Magistrate signals the bengoshi to continue. Wiping his forehead, he checks his notes. "Ah. Miss Kaolla, it says here that on one occasion, you said Miss Maehara was found unconscious by yourself and Mister Urashima, and he pulled her from the hot springs. What happened after that?"

"Keitaros gave her artificial inseminations."

Gasps from the court. Motoko's head snaps over to stare at the manager, flames in her eyes. "Urashima!" she growls under her breath, while eyeing Bugsy, who puts his hand on his stun gun. Motoko smiles sweetly at the bailiff…..if you can call flaming daggers flying from her eyes friendly.

"Beg pardon? Artificial insemination?"

"Yeah. You knows, mouth-to-mouth regurgitations."

"Ah, I believe you mean artificial respiration. Mister Urashima gave Miss Maehara mouth-to-mouth resuscitation."

"That's what I saids."

"Aaaauuuu! It tingled when Sempai's lips were on mine! Did I just say that out loud? Does he know I was just faking being drowned? Did I just say that out loud, too?" THUNK!

Everyone looks at the young cook, eyes spinning as she faints again.

"Geez, I don't know why she always does that's. Keitaro-san would..never..hurt..anyone." Su's eyes slightly glaze over.

The lawyer, his back to her, says "Could you speak up, Miss Kaolla."

Silence.

"What exactly was that, Miss Kaolla? WHOA! WHAT THE…?" the lawyer yelps as he turns around.

A stunning blonde woman is in the witness stand. Holding a foreign-looking guitar, she lightly strums it _(as she floats two feet above the chair?)_ as she replies.

"Big brother has always been kind to all of us since he has been here. He would never intentionally hurt or allow harm to come to anyone under his care." Suddenly reverting back to her younger form "And Keitaros is always playing with me, alls the time. We have lotsa fun blowing him up."

Doing another double take _(I gotta get my eyes checked)_ the bengoshi asks.

"You blew Mister Urashima up?"

"Sures. Oh, but he gots better. He's indestructibilable."

"Your honor, I have no further questions. If I could think of one that would make sense anymore!"

Looking at Keitaro, the Magistrate informs him he may question the witness. Keitaro shakes his head, having no questions to ask her.

"Very well. Please call the next witness"

"Miss Mitsune Konno, please take the stand." After she is sworn in, the bengoshi asks;

"What is your name?"

"Mitsune Konno."

"And what is your marital status?"

"Are ya'll proposing? Ah always wanted to be married to a lawyer. Ya'll probably become a powerful politician, and make lots of money, and …uh, why does this sound kinda familiar? Course, yer kinda short, and a little pudgy, yer hair is thinning, and…come to think of it, ya'll ain't my type."

"Miss Konno, please." _(Damn, was I what obvious? And I thought my comb-over covered that bald spot.)_ "What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of the defendant, Miss Narusegawa?"

"Oh, she will tell ya'll the truth. She said 'I'll kill that pervert!'- and she did!"

"So he was murdered?"

"Well, he got better real quick."

Naru holds her head in her hands and groans. "I'm so boned!" She shudders as a cold breeze blows over her. Reaching up, Mutsumi turns off the fan next to their table. "Sorry Naru-san."

"Has your manager, Mister Urashima, ever imposed himself on you in any way, Miss Konno?"

The Fox smiles as she looks at the lawyer, thinking _(This could be fun. All Ah have to do is string a little story together, and…and)_ Kitsune looks over to Keitaro, sitting by himself at the plaintiff's table, unable to look up at her _(Oh Kami! What am I thinking? I'm the one who was always scamming Keitaro, hitting him up fer sake money, forcing him to work so hard keeping everything clean and in order, and … and tricking him into groping me so I could get free rent outta him.)_

A tear falls from Kitsune's eye. "He ain't never done nothing wrong to anybody." She whispers.

"What, Miss Konno? Please speak up so the court can hear you."

Taking a deep breath, Kitsune repeats "Keitaro has never done anything wrong to anyone! All that ever happens is he gets blamed for accidents he couldn't control, and we treat him like trash for it." Her tears are coming faster now, as her breathing stutters from her sobs. The others look at her, stunned that she isn't following the plan.

Keitaro's head snaps up. A look of fear for his friends begins to fill his eyes _(NO! Kitsune-san, don't! I couldn't bear for you all to get in trouble.)_

_(I knew it! The girls are the ones who have caused all this, not Keitaro-san_!) The Magistrate thinks.

"Miss Konno, but, your friends and you, in your depositions, stated that Mister Urashima was involved in numerous acts of lewdness against you all. Are you saying otherwise now?"

"Yes, damn it! I'm under oath, and I won't lie to protect myself, not at the cost of what ever's left of my friendship with Keitaro. He's innocent. We'all are the ones to blame. We attacked him, beat him, groped him, scammed money from him, blew him up, laughed at him, made fun of him, and never appreciated him. But, did he ever hold it against us? No! He always did everything he could for us, and never made us feel guilty for what we did to him. He's the best friend we'all ever had, and we don't deserve him."

Naru and Motoko, looking at the Fox, struggle with their feelings. The other girls are speechless.

_(Kami! S-she's right! We never treated K-Keitaro like a person, not in the six months he's been our manager. I don't think I can tell a court that everything that happened is his fault, not now. I'm just not sure anymore.)_ Naru's lip trembles as she realizes Kitsune is right.

_(U-Urashima! Spirits forgive us! What were we thinking? We contemplated dragging your good and honest name into the dirt to protect ourselves! Where is the honor in that? Konno-san is correct; we do not deserve a friend, or a manager, who is as good as you are. You would be right to turn us all out of Hinata-sou.)_ Motoko bows her head in her shame.

Not knowing what to do, the bengoshi says "I, uh, I have no further questions."

The Magistrate is about to call for the next witness when Keitaro stands "I'd like to ask Miss Konno a few questions, if I may."

Not knowing how he could make his case any better, after what Kitsune just admitted, the Magistrate reluctantly agrees. Keitaro steps up to the stand.

"Kitsune-san?" He says in a gentle voice, causing her to look up at him, tears streaking her face. She sees the concern for her, for them all, in his eyes, and her breath catches in her throat.

"Ah, Miss Konno. Tell me. Did you ever fail to pay me back for any money you borrowed from me?"

"N-no. I m-might have been late a few times, but y-you always gave me all the time I needed to p-pay you back."

"Did you ever laugh at me out of spite, or was it all just good-natured humor?"

"Keitaro-san! I never made fun of ya'll for spite! We always had fun, and you always said that…you said..Oh Spit!"

"Go on, Kitsune, I mean, Miss Konno. I said…" Keitaro encourages her to finish her answer.

"Y-you always f-forgave me, forgave us. Ya'll said it was j-just a lot of good fun."

"That's right. Now, whenever any of you attacked me, didn't they honestly believe they had a reason to at that moment? Weren't they just trying to protect themselves, or all of you?"

"Y-yes, uh, no, I mean, uh…" Kitsune stares at Keitaro, unable to believe that, even now, he is trying to take the blame for everything. She whispers "Oh, Keitaro! What are you doing?"

"Please, Kitsune. I couldn't bear to have you all get in trouble." He whispers back, his voice strained.

"Miss Konno, didn't you all believe it was justified? That you all were just protecting each other, you and your friends?"

Kitsune lowers her head. As much as she wants to say anything that'll get Keitaro off the hook, she can't lie to him. "Yes. We thought you were…being perverted to us. But, later.."

Keitaro shushes her "Please Kitsune. Just answer the question." He begs her in a hushed voice.

"Yes. We all felt you were at fault." Kitsune feels her heart break at her words, but she can't deny Keitaro at this moment.

"Thank you Kitsune-san." Keitaro whispers to her "Forgive me for making you say these things." She looks up, into Keitaro's eyes, and his smile lightens her heart.

Kitsune sadly thinks_ (Oh, Keitaro-san)._

"I have no further questions, your Honor." Keitaro says to the stunned Magistrate.

The bengoshi, wondering just what the heck happened, mutters, "No questions, your Honor" and Kitsune returns to her seat.

"Please call your next witness."

"Miss Motoko Aoyama, please take the stand."

Motoko rises and is sworn in. She no longer has the desire to seek vengeance on Keitaro, not after watching him take all the blame on himself _(Ura-, Keitaro, how could we have been such fools?)_

Reading from his prepared notes, the bengoshi asks, "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder investigation instead of an attempted grievous bodily harm investigation, Miss Aoyama?"

Looking at him like he just proclaimed himself Queen of Pararakalae, uh, whatever, Island, Motoko says, "Perhaps because Urashima lived?"

The court snickers, and the Magistrate calls for order.

"Miss Aoyama. Even being an experienced swords person as yourself, a dormitory is just too dangerous an environment to have a sword in with all the people running around in there. Do you agree with that?"

"That it is a dangerous environment?"

"Yes, with the possibility of people getting hurt quite high. Is that right?"

"No, sir. I do not think it is a dangerous environment. I think pilots are in dangerous environments. I think being a lawyer and working with irate people would be in a dangerous environment…" Motoko thinks for a moment "…Unless you are referring to Urashima. Then yes, it is a dangerous environment."

"In reference to the incident the day you learned Mister Urashima was your new manager. The truth of the matter is that you are not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You also were injured in the fracas?"

"No. Urashima's grasping of my wrist caused me to injure my shoulder. And I do NOT have, nor was I injured in, a 'fat ass'!"

"A 'fracas', Miss Aoyama. A fracas is an altercation, or a fight, or a struggle, NOT a female body part. You did know that, didn't you?"

"You dare question my honesty and intelligence? Shinmei-ryu no Gurenken! God's Cry Attack of…" THUNK! Motoko's body stiffens and drops faster than a child's face when they are told there ain't no such thing as Santa Claus.

**AN: Which, for anyone wondering; Yes, there IS a Santa Claus. I ain't gonna be the one here that gets murdered for saying otherwise!**

Electricity crackles for a moment across the now unconscious sword maiden.

Everyone looks over at Bailiff Rhatt, who, with his right hand behind his back, is looking up at the ceiling, whistling. Glancing at the courtroom, he says "What?"

Throwing his hands up in the air, the lawyer says "No further questions, your Honor!"

After Motoko is carried to her seat and regains consciousness, Kitsune asks her "Well, have ya'll had enough of that stun gun, or are ya starting to enjoy it?"

Motoko mutters something under her breath along the lines of "This is Urashima's fault. He shall pay for this humiliation I am being forced to endure."

Kitsune giggles, "Well, I'll believe that if ya don't get zapped again, sugah. Personally, I kinda think ya likes it."

The next witness is called. Naru steps up and, after being sworn in, takes her seat in the witness stand. Her hands tremble.

"Are you alright, Miss Narusegawa?"

"Y-yes. I'm j-just nervous and worried. I'll be okay."

"Very well. Miss Narusegawa, what is your manager's name?"

"M-Mister Urashima."

"No, I mean, what's his first name?"

"I,… I c-can't remember!"

"He's been your manager for six months and you can't remember his first name?"

"N-no. I t-tell you I'm t-too nervous. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to him.) Keitaro, for Kami's sake! Tell them your first name!"

Keitaro falls backwards in his chair as the courtroom bursts out in laughter. Naru blushes two shades of red _(Ooooh, that Keitaro! This is all that baka's fault!)._

"Miss Narusegawa. Would you please describe to the court a typical 'attack' Mister Urashima is alleged to have committed upon your person."

Naru thinks for a moment. "Well, Keit-, I mean, Mister Urashima lives in the room directly beneath mine. On numerous occasions he would come up into my room when I was partially undressed, and I would have to defend myself from him."

"So, Mister Urashima, hearing you in your room, would open your door and accost you, is that right?"

Looking at her hands, Naru replies meekly "Well, not exactly. He only came in my door once when I was changing, but, that was because I had screamed. A mouse was eating one of my rice cakes, and Keitaro came to help me. He was very brave, because, well, we all know that mice can tear your leg off if they're cornered!"

The entire courtroom, with the exception of the other tenants, sweat drop at that revelation. Keitaro hides his eyes.

"But, Miss Narusegawa. You specifically mentioned in your deposition that Mister Urashima entered your room on 'numerous' occasions. Did he come in through the window, then?"

"Uh, no. Actually, Keitaro, I mean, Mister Urashima came up through the hole between our rooms."

Crickets chirp.

"The hole between your rooms? There is a hole connecting you rooms?"

"Y-yes."

"And Mister Urashima, he made this hole, and forced you to remain silent about it?"

"No. That hole was there long before Keitar-, ah Mister Urashima came to be our manager."

"You're telling the court that, with a suspected pervert living directly beneath your room, you never attempted to have that hole repaired? How did you protect yourself, then?"

Looking down nervously, Naru replies "I-I, well, I had my Liddo-kun guard it with a piece of plywood."

"Your Liddo-kun?

"A Mister Chupi doll, uh, yes."

"Was this plywood at least nailed down?"

………"No. I assumed any normal person would never bother using it to go from one room to another. " Naru replies, beginning to get control of herself.

"Yet, why was it there?"

"The former manager used to pass notes through it to me when she needed anything done."

"Well, be that as it may. Mister Urashima used that hole to access your room and accost you on numerous occasions, did he not?"

"Yes."

"Describe one of these encounters."

Naru thinks, and looks over at Keitaro, his head down _(That baka!"). _"Well, a typical situation would be with me changing out of my school clothes. We, Mister Urashima and I, would have just come back from prep school. He would push the panel out of the way, and stick his head up, catching a full view of me in my underwear. Then, before he could do anything, I would kick or punch him through the wall or door."

"And that was how you avoided being accosted or molested by Mister Urashima."

"Yes."

"It was all a case of self-protection."

"Yes, it was."

"And these incidents happened several times a week for the last six months."

"Yes." Steam starts to rise from Naru as her anger is rekindled. "Over and over it would happen."

"I have no further questions, our Honor."

The Magistrate motions for Keitaro to approach the witness if he desires to question her.

Carefully stepping forward, Keitaro places his feet as steadily as he can. He reached the witness stand without tripping, and looks into the fire that is Naru's eyes.

Whispering so she can barely hear "Please, Narusegawa-san, just stay angry a little longer."

Naru shakes her head _(What? What the heck is that baka up to? Of course I'm angry!)_ Naru's knuckles audibly crack as she clenches her fists.

"M-Miss Narusegawa. What happened the first time we met at Hinata-sou?"

Growling, Naru replies "You stripped and entered the girls-only hot springs where I was bathing, that's what happened!"

"And as you approached me, not knowing I was a man, I made no attempt to move away or stop you, did I?"

"That's right. You just sat there waiting."

"And when you realized I was not one of the other residents, you defended yourself from me, correct? As you ran, I followed you." _(Of course, with her holding my towel, I didn't have much choice. Follow the towel, or be disrobed.)_

"Darn straight! After you chased me around, I punched you right out of the hot springs."

"And earlier that same day, did I not grab your arm at prep school against your will? And didn't you feel threatened by my actions and defend yourself?"

"Yes I….." Naru's anger stops for a moment. She stares at Keitaro _(W-why is he bringing that up? It has nothing to do with, w-with..) _Too late, she realizes they had totally misjudged Keitaro's intentions, and what he is attempting to do _(…Oh no, Keitaro! You're trying to make yourself out to be…..Oh Kami! What have we done?)_

"Miss Narusegawa is that not what happened?" Keitaro looks Naru in her eye.

Stunned, Naru can only answer "Y-yes."

Keitaro, a look of sadness in his eyes, smiles at Naru "Thank you, Naru." he whispers. Naru chokes back a sob.

"I have no further questions, your Honor." Keitaro, his shoulders sagging, walks back to his seat.

"B-but Keitaro, wait! That's, that's not.."

"Miss Narusegawa, I must ask you to refrain from speaking unless under direct questioning of a lawyer or myself." the Magistrate admonishes Naru. The Magistrate stares sadly at Keitaro as he sits, and then tells the bengoshi "Your witness."

Standing, he looks at Keitaro "I've no further questions, your Honor." _(Young man, I wish I only had half your honor and bravery. Unfortunately, I am a lawyer!)_. The bengoshi bows to Keitaro.

Are there any last witnesses or testimony either side wishes to present?" Getting no answer, the Magistrate rises. "There being nothing further from either side, I hereby call a fifteen minute recess while I make my decision."

The courtroom rises as she steps into her chamber.

Quiet whispers start in the courtroom. Keitaro sits at the plaintiff's table, looking his hands.

The girls whisper worriedly. Kitsune looks over at Keitaro. Turning back, she says "Are any of ya'll really surprised at what just happened? What is the one thing Keitaro never failed at?" She looks from one set of eyes to another. "Ah'll tell you what. He never failed to protect any of us when we needed him. And that's exactly what he tried to do today!"

"Aaauuuuu! S-Sempai took all the blame. H-he wanted to take all the blame. And even after I said things that made him look bad, Sempai said he was proud I told the truth."

Motoko, unable to look at Keitaro, replies, "It seems, Naru-san, that we have gotten what we desired. Urashima has admitted his 'crimes' against us. Why do I not feel pleased at this outcome?"

Naru, a tear threatening to fall from her eye, shakes her head. "He, he did it for us. He didn't want us hurt by all this. Even though we've never told him, never had a chance to throw his surprise party, he still treats us like we're more important than he is."

Su, a trembling Mutsumi holding her, whimpers "Keitaros always like this! He never hurts us, he's just real clumsies. And he's the bestests playmate I ever had." Mutsumi nods her head "Oh my, oh dear. Poor Kei-kun."

After a few minutes, the Magistrate returns. Settling herself, she removes her glasses and looks out upon the courtroom.

"After having listened to the testimony, and read the depositions presented by both sides, this is not as clear-cut a case as it may seem. The defendants have, at their own admission, inflicted, or attempted to inflict, grievous bodily harm on the person of Mister Keitaro Urashima. Some claim self defense, others say it was based on misunderstandings. I am not sure if any one of the defendants truly knows the entire story. Furthermore, those of the defendants who did not harm or attempt to harm the plaintiff, admit to numerous other offenses against Mister Urashima, such as groping, molestation, and tricking the plaintiff into either providing funds to them, or relaxing the terms of their lease agreements. These are with two exceptions. Miss Maehara and Miss Otohime." The two girls look up, but see only the baleful stare of the Magistrate as she continues."However, neither Miss Maehara nor Miss Otohime made any recognizable attempts to prevent, attempt to prevent, or report the abuses going on in front of them, making them conditional accessories to these acts."

Turning to Keitaro. "On the other hand, Keit-, I mean Mister Urashima has taken it upon himself to accept full blame for all the actions committed against him, and claims full recompense was made in each case of any debts owed to him. Mister Urashima accepts the accusation that it was he, and not the defendants, who is to blame for everything he has suffered for the six months he has been the manager of the Hinata-sou Apartments."

"Putting her glasses back on, she picks up some papers. "There is little precedent on file for a case such as this, but what there is is clear. Kei-, er, Mister Urashima?"

Keitaro stands. "Y-yes, your Honor?"

"Would the defendants please stand?"

The girls all rise. The Magistrate looks from Keitaro to the girls. "Do any you have any last words before I pass judgment ?"

"Penguins!"

………."Penguins?"

"Sorry, I panicked."

The court rises for the verdict. When the murmuring of the crowd dies down, the Magistrate looks up from the bench and scans the room. Taking in a deep breath, she bellows, "Release the lions!"

The people in the courtroom look nervously at one another.

"Sorry, I always wanted to say that."

Sweat drops for everybody!

The Magistrate continues reading her verdict. "And the defendants shall be stripped of all …"

Motoko leaps up. "That is outrageous! I shall not disrobe for you or any other man, uh woman! You'll never catch me, I..." THUNK!

The Magistrate nods her head slightly at Bugsy after he shoots the sword maiden with his stun gun for the third time.

Bugsy spins the stun gun on his finger like a western gunslinger, and blows imaginary smoke from the barrel. Rapidly returning it to its holster, he misses and it goes down the front of his pants where it discharges. "AAARRGGHHAAACK!" Bugsy hits the ground like a sack of wet rocks, his right foot twitching. Slip looks down at his fellow bailiff, and then at the Magistrate.

He shrugs his shoulders and says, "Wyatt Earp he ain't." _(I knew the writer was gonna get him for playing wild-wild west with that stun gun. Me, I'm smarter than that! I keep that cattle prod safely strapped to my side where it belongs)_ he thinks as he pats his side, hitting the ON switch. The cattle prod fires up, right into his thigh. Slip stumbles around the front of the court room, frantically trying to remove the prod from its clasp on his belt as his right leg spasms painfully, smoke rising from his pant leg.

Su jumps over and grabs a pitcher of water from the defendant's table. "I'll saves ya, Mister Bailiff-man!" she yells. Unfortunately, either Su never examined a cattle prod before, she had but disregarded what she knew, or she was being driven by a higher force (i.e. the Writer). Cattle prod – electric. Water – bad. "icky icky icky fetang zoot" is all Slip can manage to cry as the cattle prod's battery short circuits. Slip shudders and falls unconscious to the ground next to Bugsy, his right foot also twitching.

Looking down at the temporarily writer-blocked self-inserts, the Magistrate whispers "Idiots."

Clearing her throat, the Magistrate continues. "And the defendants shall be stripped of all rights and lease agreements, and shall be court-evicted from the Hinata-sou Apartments before midnight, this day. If there are any items that the defendants fail to take with them, they shall be required to inform the court, in writing, to request their retrieval from the Hinata-sou Apartments; at which time, an individual of Mister Urashima's choosing shall deliver the item or items to the defendants, receiving a signed receipt for Mister Urashima's protection."

"Also, a restraining order shall be issued, forbidding the defendants from entering the Hinata-sou Apartments or its adjacent grounds unless under the supervision of the court or a duly-appointed officer of the law. They are also restricted from all physical contact and communication with the plaintiff, Mister Keitaro Urashima. The single exception to this shall be, and only with the concurrence of the plaintiff, Miss Shinobu Maehara. As she was hired as the cook and laundress for the Hinata-sou Apartments, she may continue her employment there, but all other restriction pursuant to the restraining order shall remain in effect for her."

"As an additional measure, this court orders that, for his own protection, Mister Urashima be provided the services of a law enforcement officer, who shall reside at the Hinata-sou Apartments, until such time as this court rescinds the restraining order against the defendants."

"There being no other business, this court stands adjourned!" The Magistrate bangs her gavel to finalize the hearings.

As the crowd rises, the Magistrate taps her gavel one more time. "Oh, I had almost forgotten. I shall personally spend some time at this Hinata-sou to ensure that it is a proper habitation for Keitaro-san, uh, I mean, Mister Urashima to abide in." As the girls file out of the courtroom, Kitsune looks back and sees the judge lifting a beach bag and pulling a skimpy pink bikini out of it as a smile plays across her lips. The Fox shakes her head. "Oh, Spit! This isn't good."

The Magistrate looks over at Keitaro as he stands, and, licking her lips, puts her thumb and little finger against her head as if talking on a phone and mouths "I'll call you!" as she smiles and waves the bikini at him.

"Gack!" Keitaro hits the floor, blood spurting from his nostrils.

Kitsune looks back once more as the Magistrate removes her robe, revealing a one-size too small business suit, her endowment threatening to burst a few buttons. "Holy Cows! This aint good and a half!"


	10. Chapter 10 Thrown out into the cold!

**Love Hina – Ronin Rescue**

**Chapter Ten – Thrown out into the cold!**

……"_And the defendants shall be stripped of all rights and lease agreements, and shall be court-evicted from the Hinata-sou Apartments before midnight, this day."…….._

_The Magistrate looks over at Keitaro as he stands, and, licking her lips, puts her thumb and little finger against her head as if talking on a phone and mouths "I'll call you!" as she smiles and waves the bikini at him._

"_Gack!" Keitaro hits the floor, blood spurting from his nostrils._

_Kitsune looks back once more as the Magistrate removes her robe, revealing a one-size too small business suit, her endowment threatening to burst a few buttons. "Holy Cows! This ain't good and a half!"_

**Later that evening….**

The girls shiver together, pulling their shirts/slacks/skirts (as the case may be) tighter to try to stay warm. Their breath fogs and their eyes sting from the biting cold. They stamp their shoes in an attempt to keep their feet from succumbing to the numbing conditions.

Motoko stutters, her shoulders drooping under the weight she is carrying "T-this i-is a-all U-Urashima's f-fault! S-Spirits, b-but i-it i-is c-cold!" She considers if any of her secret techniques could generate any usable warmth.

Shinobu wails, her legs on the verge of turning blue, "A-A-Aaauuuuu! A-and m-my h-hands a-are f-f-f-freezing, t-too! I-it's s-s-so c-cold! I-I w-wish m-my S-Sempai w-were h-here t-to s-save m-me……I-I m-mean, t-to s-save u-us." Shinobu corrects herself.

Kitsune whines, _(I want my sake!)_ "M-my b-babies a-are g-gonna f-freeze o-off! I-if w-we d-don't w-warm u-up s-soon, w-we'all a-are g-gonna d-die!" She drops her bags to rub some warmth into her, uh, babies.

Su mentions, as she blows into her free hand to try warming it, "Y-y-y-you g-g-guys g-g-gots i-i-it e-e-easy. I-I-I'm f-f-from M-M-M-MolM-M-Mol! H-h-hello! T-t-tropic-c-canical a-a-and a-a-all t-t-that!" _(I shoulda worn shoes, dang my feetsies are COLD!)_

Mutsumi worries, rubbing her arm with one hand while carrying her share in the other, "O-oh M-my! I-I'm g-going t-to h-have f-frozen m-melons i-if I-I c-can't w-warm u-up s-soon!" Looking at her hand, "O-oh d-dear! B-blood!" Nearly unseen in the freezing mists from their breath, the Okinawan faints.

Naru complains, balling her free hand into fist, "I-I'll k-kill h-him! J-just l-let m-me g-get m-my h-hands o-on t-that b-butcher f-for n-not h-having a-any l-lamb c-chops!" She removes the leaking package of raw stew meat from the fallen melon-lady's hand as she helps her to a sitting position.

Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder as she calls into the deep freezer "And as soon as you put all that extra meat and frozen vegetables in place, you can get back out here and start putting away the other groceries you bought. Now hurry up and stop your complaining, you've only been in there two minutes."

**Chapter Ten –Into Haruka's kind and generous arms**

Haruka, her hands on her hips, looks at the revised chapter title. Under her breath she mutters; "Yeah, right! What was I thinking, letting that Keitaro talk me into this?" Out loud, "And if any of you girls still snore, you're going to sleep down here in the kitchen! I need all the rest I can get with the shenanigans you all come up with!"

**Chapter Ten – Conspiracies of necessity –or- How to get six girls outta my hair!**

Haruka crosses her arms as she lights another cigarette; "That's more accurate." She places a tray with hot tea and cups on the kitchen counter and hands each girl one as they walk out of the freezer. "Here, take a break and warm up, or you'll drop half the stuff as you try to put it away."

Gratefully, the new residents of the upstairs apartment of the Hinata Tea Shop take the tea and try to will some heat back into their limbs and, uh, other body parts. Haruka closes the deep freezer door and takes a cup of tea for herself. Motoko, her sword once more at her side, says, "Our deepest thanks, Haruka-san. Your freezer unit is colder than the mountains of Kyoto in the dead of winter!"

"So. Let's get some ground rules laid out right now. During business hours, the Tea Shop is off-limits, unless you are buying something, or want to help me out serving customers, or have a really serious problem that can't wait."

"Most importantly, if Keitaro is in here you absolutely must NOT come into the Tea Shop area. He generally will drop in for fifteen minutes after prep-school for coffee and a talk about how things are. I don't expect that to change. Please respect his right to come here occasionally and not get him or yourselves into trouble."

"As for helping out around, there is not enough work to extend to you free room and board, so, except for Shinobu, I expect all of you to continue making your rent payments."

She eyes Kitsune, who, out of habit, has a wicked grin on her face. "And I'll remind you, Mitsune Konno-san, of the first and last time you tried your tricks on me in an attempt to get out of your rent. I expect that you do not desire a repeat of our last altercation?"

Reminded of the incident, Kitsune blanches, her face going pale, "N-no ma'am, Haruka-san! 'Sides, it scares the spit outta me when ya'll use my full name like that! I'll be good."

Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder and glares at the Fox. "AND pay your rent on time?"

Kitsune frowns, looking at the older woman, "Yeah, ya'll wins. I'll be good AND pay mah rent on time."

Naru, looking at Haruka, says, "Wait a sec, go back. What did you mean, 'except for Shinobu'? Don't tell me that…"

Haruka turns to Naru, "Yes. Keitaro agreed to the courts' offer of letting Shinobu continue working as the dorms' cook and laundress. So, her rent will be covered by the inn's account."

Motoko, with a thoughtful look in her face points out; "But, Haruka-san. With no tenants, Urashima will not have the income to pay Shinobu-chan's wages."

Comprehension dawns on Motoko's face. "In fact, it just now occurs to me that, without us as paying tenants, there will be no income to pay Urashima's wages either! How will he support himself, or pay the bills of Hinata-sou?" Her face falls as she ponders what must now happen.

She does not say what they all know to be his obvious course of action: Keitaro will have to find new tenants to be able to pay the bills!

Haruka looks at the sword maiden "The inn's accounts have more than enough funds to cover paying wages and the bills for now. Besides, it's Keitaro's decision, so why should any of you be worried about it?"

Haruka doesn't mention that the girl's rent will still be deposited into the dorm's account, with a small transfer to cover upkeep for the Tea Shop as long as they stay there. She hasn't even told Keitaro this, but, since she's always administered the accounts for both the Inn and the Tea Shop, he's not likely to notice or ask.

Mutsumi look up from her tea "Haruka-san, do you truly believe all of this was of our desire? That we wished to be separated from Kei-kun like this?"

Haruka leans against the kitchen counter. "No. I don't suppose you did. But, that doesn't change the fact that it happened. You all have to live with it now. Except for Shinobu, as far as the restraining order allows, that is."

Naru sputters, "B-but, how can we let that, that….uh, how can we let Keitaro be alone with poor little Shinobu-chan? I mean, he IS a man, and she's only a middle-school student after all! It just wouldn't be right! _(Or fair!)_ Naru thinks.

Kitsune looks at Shinobu, a sly wink in her eye. "Ya'll lucky little thang! Ah wish Ah'd've learned to cook like you, then maybe Ah'd get to spend some quality time alone with 'my Sempai'!"

Shinobu's eyes light up and begin twirling, and her hands go to her cheeks as a silly grin covers her face. "I-I still get to cook for my Sempai? I get to see him every day? Aaauuuuu! I'm so happy! I, uh-oh, I think I'm gonna…"

Everyone says at the same time "Pee your panties, we know, we know!"

"No, I think I'm gonna…faint!" THUNK!

Su catches the young cook as she collapses. "Ya thinks Keitaros could use another cook for when this one is uncapacitied or inconsciousated? And maybe plays a bit between meal times?" she asks, a hopeful look in her eyes.

"No, Su. I'm sorry, but the restraining order is specific. Only Shinobu is allowed up there, and only in her capacity as the hired cook and doing laundry." Haruka says.

The afore-mentioned cook stirs as she recovers from her fainting spell, a dreamy, far-off smile still on her face as she mutters, "I get to be alone with my Sempai. I'll cook for him, and feed him, and …… did I just say that out loud? Aaauu…." SPLASH! "H-hey, that's COLD!" Shinobu cries.

Mutsumi place the empty ice water pitcher on the kitchen counter "Oh dear, I just wanted to wake you from fainting again, Shinobu-chan."

"I wasn't going to faint! I was…" She looks down at her drenched clothing. "Well, a-at least you can't t-tell that I pee'd." She rushes upstairs and changes while the other jealous girls (i.e. all of them) give Mutsumi the thumbs-up sign. They sip their tea until she returns.

Setting her tea down, Haruka continues. "I expect each of you to read the schedule I posted for using the shower. If you do not use it during your scheduled time, you'll either have to wait until everyone else is finished or live with it until the next day."

She looks at each girl to drive home her point. "You MUST obey the restriction on hot water usage. No more than ten minutes each. If you don't, then the last two or three girls will have to take cold showers if they want to get clean. Because I work late, I put my name last, and I will not be pleased at all if I EVER have to take a cold shower."

Reading from her list, Haruka says, "With the exception of Shinobu, who is already employed, I insist that each of you take turns; cleaning the Tea Shop; mopping the floors; wiping down the counters; taking out the trash; raking the gardens; stacking the furniture at night; replacing them in the morning; cooking our meals; and doing the laundry."

"Haruka, excuse me, but can we take a vote on cooking? Ah say we vote that Naru not have to do any cooking, since, uh, she's the busiest of us all anyways." Kitsune interjects hoepfully.

"I agree. That is, Naru-san's time would be better spent if she used it for studying rather than preparing meals." Motoko quickly adds, giving Haruka a pleading glance.

"My, oh my, but it would not be fair to expect Naru to cook and study. She would not have the time to do it properly!" Mutsumi adds, unconsciously placing her hand over her stomach as if in anticipated pain.

Su jumps onto Motoko's shoulders, "We all votes 'Yes' to thats. Hurray for Narus, no cooking jobs for ya!" memories of past toxic waste episodes causing her stomach to tremble in fear.

Naru looks from her friends to Haruka and back. "No way! I insist on pulling my weight, along with everyone else. Besides, how long could it take to prepare meals? I mean, Shinobu can whip up a feast in thirty minutes, so I'm sure I could do as well in half that time. I am older than her, AND I have the highest prep-school scores in the nation!" Naru says proudly.

Haruka, either ignoring or oblivious to the imploring looks from the others, agrees. "Naru is right. Besides, she's willing to do her fair share, so who am I to tell her no_?" (Besides, as long as I know what nights she's cooking, I can always make an excuse that I have someplace to go, and won't be home til late.)_ Haruka manages to hide her sly grin behind her hand.

Shinobu checks her pocket for her emergency stash of stomach pills; just to be sure she still has them.

"Okay, now that I've explained the ground rules, the rest of which are posted upstairs in case any of you forget them, let's get the rest of these groceries put away. We'll need to use the closet back there as well. I don't normally store this much food in the Tea Shop at one time. Then again, I've never had to put up six other people here, either."

As Kitsune opens the closet, she is amazed. "Haruka, This closet is huge! It must go into the side of the hill! And where on Earth did ya'll ever get all these costumes and clothes? You could clothe the entire Japanese Opera and Theater Society with what you have stashed in here!"

"Those old things? That's just some stuff I've collected over the years. Just ignore it and place the extra groceries on the shelves to the left, I think one or two are still empty." Haruka recommends.

Once they've settled the grocery issue, they sit down for some delivery that Haruka ordered. "I do NOT want it being made a habit, but, since it's been a long day for all of us, I figured to give us all a break and order dinner tonight, seeing as you're all probably to tired to go out, and I'm too tired to cook."

Expressing their thanks, the girls get plates and utensils from the kitchen and place the food containers on the table. "Itadakimasu!" they say as they sit and start eating.

As they enjoy their meal, Kitsune looks at Haruka and tries to get up the nerve to ask a question that has been in her mind all day. "Haruka, if it isn't prying, could ya'll tell me something?"

Haruka says "What might that be?"

"well, ya'll see. Um. That is, today, at the court house. Well, there was someone who was talking with Keitaro, and….."

"Go on, Kitsune." _(Hmmm, I bet they saw Yasumiko today. That's probably got them thinking.)_

Naru, knowing what Kitsune is trying to ask, quickly inserts, "Haruka, uh, that is, what can you tell us about that red-headed girl Keitaro was sitting with at the courthouse?"

Looking over her cup of tea, she replies, "Oh, you noticed her, did you?"

Motoko interjects, her hands tightly gripping her sword handle, "Please tell us, Haruka-san. It disturbed me, that is, it disturbed _US_ greatly to see Urashima being taken advantage of by who to all appearances is a stranger, to us at least, during what is obviously a most stressful time for him."

_(Oh, so they don't realize yet that Yasumiko is also the police officer that arrested them. This could be fun!)_ Haruka adjusts her cigarette "Oh, you must be referring to Yasa-chan. She's an old friend of Keitaro's that he 'ran' into a few weeks ago." _(Let's crank up the pressure a bit),_ "A very dear old friend, and a sweet girl. I remember having lots of talks with her when she and Keitaro were in elementary school."

The girls all slump, their fears confirmed. Apparently Keitaro HAS found someone to replace them already.

"Y-you mean, my Sempai and she are JUST friends, r-right Haruka-san?" Shinobu tentatively asks.

Haruka considers her answer. As much as she wants to have fun with this, she doesn't want to be caught out in a lie, either. Then it comes to her. "Well, let's just say Keitaro's relationship with Yasa-chan is unlike any relationship he's ever had with a girl, and leave it at that." _(Which is true. Yasumiko is the only lesbian friend Keitaro's ever had. No lie in that.)_

Su looks up from her meal, "The way she was hanging on ta Keitaros today, you'd have a hard time convincing me that's she ain't in lovies with him." Turning to Motoko, "Ya gonna eats them rice balls?" Motoko shakes her head and pushes her plate over to the blonde youngster, who devours the offering with relish. And curry powder. And Wasabi paste (the green kind).

Naru sets her chopstick s down, and places her hands in her lap. "T-then, you're saying we've,…lost Keitaro?" Naru's conscience kicks in with its two-cent's worth. _(Why aren't you surprised? You treat him like a ragdoll for months and expect him to fight to keep you when he has the opportunity to throw you out and make a fresh start? Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't walk out on you three months ago. I'd've thought ninety days here, his heart being treated like trash would have broken him.)_

Haruka sits back, her tea in her hand, "I'd say that is Keitaro's decision now. Besides, does he really have any reason to do otherwise? Did you ever make him feel welcome up there at Hinata-sou, before you lost the chance and got evicted?" She looks around, not expecting an answer.

"Oh dear, but Kei-kun would not abandon all of us, would he? Some of us genuinely care about him." Mutsumi asks.

"S-Sempai knows I care about h-him. Doesn't he? I mean, I never really said it, but I am, I means was, always making his favorites pork fried rice when he worked hard. He'd notice that, wouldn't he?" Shinobu asks, her hand on Haruka's arm.

Haruka looks down at the young cook before looking at Mutsumi. She adjusts her cigarette holder before she answers. _(Best to make these girls start thinking a little bit.)_ "Too many times I've had Keitaro come down here to talk to me about how things were going at the dorm. Sometimes I had to force him down here to talk it over, since it goes against who he is to say anything negative about any of you."

She lights up another cigarette. "He takes, well, he took his job as manager very seriously. He was even more stringent in taking care of who he considered his friends. I never got the impression that he felt he was ever really accepted as the manager, and, except for two or three of you, didn't feel much of his attempts at friendship were returned."

Haruka pulls a notepad from her apron pocket and opens it. "I keep a list of some of the descriptions he gave me on how he felt was treated by you all. And let me tell you, I didn't like hearing it, over and over." Setting the notepad in front of her, she looks each girl in the eye as she reads it from memory:

"He felt un-trusted, used, abused, mistreated, conned, swindled, ignored, overworked, under-appreciated, beaten, blasted, thrown down, thrown around, thrown out, cast away, cast aside, burned, broken, hated and un-loved."

The girls all stare at Haruka, mouths open. They cannot believe what they are hearing, but cannot deny the words, either.

Kitsune is the first to find her voice. "Ah, Ah know we was never Keitaro's best friends, but, Kami-sama, I didn't know he felt so, so…Spit, I can't describe how he must have felt!"

Haruka replies bluntly "The words 'he must have felt like shit' come to mind."

Motoko gets out of her chair and kneels, bowing to the floor. "Haruka-san, we unknowingly, and, I must admit for my part, sometimes knowingly, inflicted such emotional and physical distress on Urashima-san that nothing will make up for it. It would not be right for us to accept the hospitality of any of his relations after our actions. Tomorrow, we must leave and find our own places. We do not deserve to be kept together at the expense of your family any longer, for we are unworthy of such kindness and generosity."

Naru bows her head, "M-Motoko's right. I treated Keitaro like he was nothing to me, even though I, well, I do kinda like having him around. I never knew how he, damn it, I never ASKED him how he felt! We have to leave. It's just wrong to stay here anymore." A sob escapes her throat.

Mutsumi puts her face into her hands "Oh, my poor Kei-kun! We're sorry! We are so very sorry!"

Su stares at her empty plate, then eyes Naru's still full one. _(I ain't hungry no more. Keitaro don't wanna play with me no more.)_ "I guesses I'll have to go home now. There ain't nothings here for me if we has to break up and not plays with Keitaros any mores."

Kitsune can only stare at her hands _(Oh, Keitaro. We have been the biggest bunch of bitches ya'll must have ever had to deal with. You deserve so much better than us)._

Shinobu weeps lightly; "Aaauuuuu! I can't face my Sempai knowing he hates us. I-I'll leave too." The young cook lays her head on her arms and sobs gently.

Kitsune reaches over and lays a hand on her shoulder and rubs her back, "Hey, come on kiddo, Keitaro could never hate you! Ya'll never did nothing wrong to him. You're the only one of us here that has a right to stay. Besides, who's gonna cook for the big lug if you go away? He'll be dependent on beef bowls for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day."

Shinobu looks up, wiping the tears from her eyes. "B-but, what about you guys? I- I don't want to do anything that'll make you hate me."

Everyone assures her that they do not begrudge her the chance to be near 'her Sempai'. Motoko even goes so far as to suggest "Perhaps, in time, you can convince Urashima to allow us to give him our apologies in person some day; that is, if the court were to rescind the restraining order against us."

Naru stands and walks over to Shinobu. Kneeling, she opens her arms and invites her into a hug, which Shinobu wastes no time leaping into. "Shinobu-chan, as much as I want Keitaro, I can't refuse you the chance to see him every day, even if I can't. I mean, he's still a man, and you're just in middle-school. But, the court said they are assigning a police officer to the dorm, so just promise me you'll do everything you can to keep that police officer at Keitaro's side anytime you are up there, okay?"

"I promise, Naru-sempai. So that you all won't worry about me, I'll insist the police officer stay by Keitaro all the time."

Haruka thinks _(Oh boy! Wouldn't they be surprised if Yasumiko were selected to be that police officer! Of course, Keitaro's life wouldn't be worth a wooden yen if the girls saw her living up there with Keitaro.)_

A cold breeze blows across the girls and they shiver violently. Haruka stands and walks to the deep freezer. "I thought I closed this already."

Sitting down, Haruka decides she can't let the girls leave. Keitaro would never forgive her is she didn't stop them. Making a decision, she reveals part of Keitaro's request to her. "Now, before anyone goes off to make train reservations or something more final, I think you need to know something. As much as I'd like to take the credit for offering to put you up her at the Tea Shop, it wasn't my idea."

Motoko, still on her knees, looks at Haruka, her eyes wide, "You do not mean that the court forced us upon you?"

"No, nothing like that. Someone that has a vested interest in your care, happiness and well-being asked me to do it." Haruka adjusts her cigarette holder.

The girls look expectantly at the older woman. "It was Keitaro's idea."

A collective gasp escapes from the girls. "I promised him that I'd put you up in my apartment. He couldn't stand the thought of all of you thrown out with nowhere to go. And since he isn't allowed to contact you, he asked me to let you stay here. He said, and I'm quoting, _'I know I haven't done enough to gain their trust. I couldn't even get the court to punish me for what happened. I've failed them too many times in the past; I can't fail them again now and let them be torn apart from each other.'_"

Haruka blows a smoke ring out the window. "Keitaro said it should have been him leaving Hinata-sou, that he is the outsider, the one that doesn't belong." She turns to Motoko, "He even said that you were right all along, that a man should never have been the manager. Because he didn't leave, he blames himself for you all being evicted from your home. How do you think that makes him feel? So, when he said _'Please, take them in, for me?'_ what do you think I did? As you all know, it's hard to say no to Keitaro when he's trying to do what he feels is the right thing."

Glimmers of hope reappear in the eyes of the former hot spring residents.

"A-after everything we did, after everything that happened, Keitaro still cares about us? B-but why?" Naru asks.

Kitsune answers, a sad smile on her face, "Because, he is Keitaro. It's always been his way, although he could be clumsy about it, to put our needs ahead of his own. That man hasn't got an unkind bone in his body." She raises her tea cup in a silent salute to their kanrinin.

"And if he did, ya'd thinks that punch-lady and the stick-waving momma woulda removed it by force. Hurrays, Keitaros ain't mad at us no more!" Su exclaims, her nearly boundless exuberance returning.

"But, what happens now? I mean, oh dear, we are down here, and Kei-kun is just up the stairs, but that's as close as we can get. And, there is still the issue of his friend, Yasa-chan." Mutsumi remarks, her voice carrying the first hint of jealousy the girls can remember hearing her speak. The same jealousy they all realize they are starting to feel.

The girls' minds go into overdrive, thinking on ways to try and get back together with their kanrinin, and save him (and themselves?) from the (evil?) girl Yasa-chan, who is trying to steal (or worse?) their kanrinin from them. Small wicked grins start to appear on their faces, as, one-by-one, they start to realize that, in-spite of a restraining order, there are ways to get to their Keitaro that may not involve breaking any laws. And if that red-head gets in the way, Kami help her!

Haruka recognizes the look in their eyes, as the girls sit quietly, their appetites revived as they finish their meals. Haruka ponders what it will be like with them living upstairs in the cramped living room of her apartment. _(Six conniving, love-sick teenager girls under one roof! What the heck was I thinking when I let Keitaro talk me into this? He's going to owe me big time for letting the girls stay here.)_

She looks from one girl to the next_. (They're planning something. A whole bunch somethings! You'd better watch out, nephew, because I think the Hinata Rescue Squad has you in their sights for their next mission!)_

Finishing their meal, Shinobu moves to take the plates into the kitchen, force of habit causing her forget that she isn't required to do any work at the Tea Shop. Kitsune stands "Wait a minute, sugah, ya'll is employed up there, so ya'll ain't supposed to be doing anything around here. Let us help ya'll."

The others all stand to help clear up before going upstairs to prepare for bedtime. As Motoko stands, Su leaps up, a sudden thought coming to her, "I knows, I knows! Shinobu can be our flyscraper on the wall! She can tell us how Keitaros is doings. I could even whips up a special mecha-tama to goes with her, maybe installs a camera or somethings so we can sees what's up. That is, since we ain't Shinobu, and Keitaros ain't gonna needs another cook up there!"

Motoko's head comes up at Su's comment, and a tiny gleam appears in her eye_. (Maybe not another cook, but another Shinobu-chan, perhaps?)_ She thinks. _(Yes, perhaps with a wig, some stooping, the right clothing, and Kei-, uh, Urashima not wearing his glasses, it could be done. He would not be able to tell the difference!)_ She wrings her hands as a small laugh escapes her lips. _(I must think about this. And how to convince Shinobu of the, ah, necessity of it.)_

The devil on her shoulder nudges her and whispers in her ear "Or tie her up for the day, if you have to!"

Naru looks at Motoko. _(Why is she laughing like that? She sounds like Kitsune when she has to get a rent deferral from Keitaro. And that look in her eyes! She looks like a tiger on the prowl!)_


	11. Chapter 11 Allies and Decisions

**Love Hina – Ronin Rescue**

**Chapter Eleven – Allies and Decisions**

_She wrings her hands as a small laugh escapes her lips. (I must think about this. And how to convince Shinobu of the, ah, necessity of it.) _

_The devil on her shoulder nudges her and whispers in her ear "Or tie her up for the day, if you have to!"_

_Naru looks at Motoko. (Why is she laughing like that? She sounds like Kitsune when she has a new 'pose' to test on Keitaro. And that look in her eye! She looks like a tiger on the prowl!)_

**Earlier, that same afternoon, from the Hinata court house to the Hinata Apartments…**

Keitaro sits in the front lobby of the court house. According to the clerk, the girls have all agreed to vacate the dorm by 7:00 PM, and he has to stay away until then. Looking up at the clock, he sights. _(4:00 O'clock. I've already been here for an hour and a half, and I have to sit alone here for three more hours. Well, I hope Haruka won't have any problems getting the girls settled at the Tea Shop. I feel kinda bad making her promise to let them live there, but, until I can figure out how to get the magistrate or someone to cancel that restraining order, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Live with them close by but cramped together, or let them scatter and maybe lose any chance of seeing them again.)_

"Am I doing the right thing, or is this just being selfish? Is this what they would want? I wish I could at least talk to them again." Keitaro says to himself.

"Hey, Kei-chan, who are you talking to over there by yourself?" Yasumiko calls out, dressed once more in her duty uniform, her red hair stuffed up under her hat, her owlish glasses replacing her contact lenses. She walks up to Keitaro, "Is it okay if I sit here for a bit?"

Keitaro moves over on the bench, "No, please, sit. I'd appreciate a little company right about now." He says, patting the seat beside him. Yasumiko takes her hat off and sits beside him.

"Kei-chan, I got some news that might cheer you up. The Magistrate ordered a police officer to be assigned to Hinata-sou, remember? So, I pulled a few strings, and banged a few heads over at the district office, and guess what? I'm going to be your new roomie!" Yasumiko exclaims, her eyes crossed and the tip of her tongue sticking from her lips as she grins idiotically at Keitaro.

Keitaro, in spite of the situation, can't help but laugh at the face she makes. After several moments spent doubled over, he looks up, a genuine smile on his face for the first time in a over a week. "You looked like a cross-eyed puppy dog! Thanks, Yaya-chan. I needed that! It's been a rough week. But, you were kidding, right? I mean, you only just got assigned to Hinata City a few weeks ago. Aren't they worried about you getting experienced in your duties before letting you get pulled for a baby-sitting job?" Keitaro asks, a hint of concern for his friends' position in his voice.

"Nah. You forget, I lived here for years, so I know the city like the back of my hand. See?" She shows him the back of her hand, which he obligingly looks at. "Go ahead, ask me anything about the back of my hand, I'll show you."

Keitaro, his mood still buoyed by his friends' antics, plays along. "Okay….Below your ring and little fingers, how many liver spots are there?" he asks, trying hard to maintain a straight face.

Aghast, Yasumiko turns the back of her hand so she can see it. "WHAT? Liver spots? Oh Kami-sama, where? I…Hey, wait a sec. I don't see.." She looks at Keitaro, who can't control himself any longer as he breaks up in a fit of laughter. "Oooh, your gonna pay for that, Mister Keitaro Urashima, sir! You just wait and see." She punches Keitaro in the arm, nearly knocking him off the bench.

"Ouch! Hey, aren't you supposed to be protecting me? Where's a video camera when I need it? Help, help, police brutality, I need a lawyer! Is there a lawyer in the house?" Twenty eight hands are raised in the lobby, each holding a business card. "Uh, never mind, just having a little joke, that's all, heh heh." Keitaro says meekly, rubbing the back of his head.

Yasumiko grins at his reaction. "You know Kei-chan, it's going be fun rooming with you for a while. I hope you don't snore too much, because I need my beauty rest, and I'd hate to have to shove a certain nuigurumi in your mouth so I can sleep." She says, a wicked look in her eye.

Keitaro's head snaps over to look her in the eye. "Kami-sama! D-don't tell me you still have…it?" he asks, faking a trace of fear in his voice.

"Darn straight I do! So you better not snore, or do anything else or my 'Hello Kitty – Banzai Attack' will get you….again!" Yasumiko's eyebrows rise as she delivers this ultimatum, of sorts, to Keitaro.

Keitaro turns to her, hands clasped, and begs for mercy while trying hard not to grin. "No, no! I'll be good. Just, just don't let that vile, deceitful, lecherous, perverted stuffed doll get me again!" _(hmmm, why does that sound so familiar?)_

"Hey, I have an idea." She stands, shoves her hair up under her hat, and then offers her hand to Keitaro. "Why are we sitting around in this dreary lobby? Let's grab an early bite to eat. If I'm not mistaken, you probably haven't had a decent meal in days. It'll be my treat, since I'm going be living under your roof, courtesy of the Hinata City Council's coffers. I don't have to pay a thing for it, either! Woohoo! Bonus!"

Keitaro looks out the door, his mind suddenly on something else. _(_**'you probably ain't had a decent meal in days'**_. I miss Shinobu's cooking. I miss all the girls.)_ "Why did it have to happen this way?" he sighs. His mind wanders to what they are doing, if they hate him, would they ever forgive him for the restraining order the court slapped on them?

Yasumiko looks down at her friend, a sad look on her face. _(Kei-chan, this is really hitting you hard, isn't it? I hope everything works out for you in the end. You don't deserve this guilt trip.)_ After a minute, she taps him on the shoulder. "Control to Urashima! Control to Urashima! Time to come back to earth, Kei-chan! Dinner's a-waiting, and I'm buying."

Keitaro snaps out of it, and rubs the back of his head as he stands. "Sorry, Yaya-chan, didn't mean to zone out on you. Yeah, I'd appreciate something other than a noodle cup for a change. Thanks." Bowing slightly, he waves her to the door. "After you, Officer Murayama."

Her grin returning, she grabs his hand and rushes to the exit. "Thanks much, Manager Urashima. Keep up now, there's beef bowls and sodas with our names on them, and I'd hate to keep them waiting!"

**Later that evening**

Yasumiko has learned quite a bit about Keitaro and his situation over the last two and a half hours, three sodas, and five beef bowls. Well, four for Keitaro, and a beef bowl with a side salad for her. He has described in general his life since they were elementary school students, and in somewhat more detail the last six months since his grandmother made him, unwittingly, the manager of an all-girl dormitory. What has surprised her most is that, even with everything he has gone through, Keitaro feels his life is actually better now than before. Even with the abuse, attacks, and tricks that get played on him, he wouldn't trade his situation for the life he had before.

"I mean, sure it's a lot of work, being their manager, studying for the Toudai exams, and trying to keep from being launched into orbit every time I turn around. Then I compare it to before, and you know, my life was pretty boring, just going to school, and no other worries. Now, I have responsibilities, people who depend on me, and…well, I used to have people who depended on me."

His eyes get that sad look Yasumiko has seen too many times that evening, mainly each time Keitaro remembers he no longer can count the girls as his tenants.

"You know, Kei-chan, even with all their faults, those girls seem like decent people, at least the way you describe them. I think I can see why you're so protective of them. They didn't have it as easy as you growing up, and you can't resist trying to help them." Yasumiko comments as she sips her soda.

Keitaro gives her a lop-sided grin. "Yeah, that's pretty much it. They're all kinda special to me, in their own ways. Not just manager to tenant, either. I, well, I consider them all my friends, even if some of them think I'm just a ronin, or a worthless male, or a piggybank, or a test subject."

"I take it some of them are 'more special' than the others. You always seem to get a kinda far-away look when you mention Narusegawa-san; I take it you care for her quite a bit?" Yasumiko makes this more of a question than a statement, unsure if she has read the situation properly.

Keitaro slowly nods his head. "Almost from the beginning, I felt a connection to Narusegawa. And, except for Narusegawa and Motoko, I have told the others, in one way or another, that I do care for them. But, Motoko rejects anything more than seeing me as a male to be avoided at all costs. And Narusegawa. Anytime I even hint at having feelings for her, she'll either flat-out ignore me, or deny she has any feelings for me, other than that she considers me a stupid, lazy, no-good, two-time ronin pervert. Or, …or she'll call me a pervert and the next thing I know, I'm walking home from wherever I landed after she punched me."

Yasumiko absorbs this revelation for future reference. Thinking, she continues. "You obviously care a great deal for all of them. The way your face turns red when you mention Konno-san."

"And don't get me started on what passes across your face when you talk about that Otohime-san lady."

"Then there's Kaolla-san; you really enjoy spending time playing with her, although to me, she seems to be a cross between a jumping bean, Albert Einstein and Doctor Frankenstein."

"Of course, Aoyama-san, as much as she scares the willies outta me, seems kinda like your style; tall, pale, and menacing!"

"But the protective look you get when you talk about your cook, Maehara-san, is just so precious; it's like she's more of a kid sister to you than Nako-chan is." Looking slyly at him, she continues, "Maybe she'd be even more than a little sister, if you know what I mean." Yasumiko teases.

Keitaro raises his hands, "For Kami's sake, Yaya-chan, don't mention ANYTHING like that if you ever meet those girls! My life wouldn't be worth a wooden yen if they even thought I felt that way about Shinobu-chan! Besides, she's just a middle-school student. That, and she couldn't possibly have any kind of grown-up feelings for anyone."

_(Sheesh! How dense are you, Kei-chan? Even I could tell from the way Maehara-san talked and acted in the courthouse that she has strong feeling for you.)_ Taking another tack, she says "Well, let's not forget about Konno-san. Now, if you wanted instant 'results', she's the one I'd put my money on." Yasumiko says suggestively, winking at Keitaro.

Keitaro blushes, thinking of all the times the Fox came on to him for a little cash for sake or gambling, or a temporary rent deferral. "No, you've got it wrong. Kitsune-san isn't that kind of girl, in spite of how she acts. I know deep down she's just doing that for attention, and that she really has a heart of gold."

"Hidden under size thirty-four cups." Yasumiko says innocently. Being somewhat well endowed herself, she can appreciate the comparison. She grins at Keitaro's further blushing at her mentioning Kitsune's assets. _(There's another one that cares for you, Keitaro. That look in her eyes when you questioned her at the hearing. Man, even I felt a lump in my throat at how she must have felt, letting you lead her into throwing you under the bus, so to speak. )_

"Well, if you aren't into the 'well proportioned' kind of girl, maybe Aoyama-san is the one you should pay attention to. She's kind of skinny, but she's the girl you could walk with down a dark alley, and you wouldn't have to worry about getting mugged. She'd scare off any attacker with that sword she always carries with her." Yasumiko looks sideways to see Keitaro's reaction.

Sitting there, he nods "Yeah, Motoko has that impression on people. Especially males. She had me scared outta my wits the first two or three weeks after we met." Turning to Yasumiko, he continues "But, she's got a softer side. She keeps it buried pretty deep, even from herself. But, she has a thing against males. Something happened to her, or someone close to her. I don't know what, but she refuses to see males as anything but vile, perverted, lecherous, deceitful beings who are interested in only one thing."

Smiling wickedly, Yasumiko puts her elbows on the table and rests her chin on her hands. "Do tell? And, Kei-chan, as a representative of the male species, what exactly is it you all are so intently interested in?"

Keitaro looks at Yasumiko, his face blushing "I-it's not what you think! I, that is, Motoko thinks I am, but I don't, you know, uh……Just get your gun and shoot me now, will you?" Keitaro says, throwing his hands up in the air. "If I can't win that argument with Motoko, what makes you think I can convince you that I'm not like those kinds of men?"

"Oh, Kei-chan, you know I'm just kidding you. Even if you DID think that way, your conscience, and your ever-dependable nosebleeds, would stop you cold! Unless that sword lady stopped you first." _(Although, in her way, she cares for you as well, Kei-chan. The way she stuttered between calling you '_Urashima'_ or '_Keitaro'_, I don't think she realizes it herself.)_

Yasumiko rubs her chin as she thinks, "Let's see, where was I? Oh, yeah. That lady who's always got her hands on her melons, Otohime-san. Not much going on upstairs, but she more than compensates with a warm and caring heart. And she seems to be the most outgoing and affectionate of the lot. You could do a lot worse than her, you know." She grins at her friend.

Keitaro just sits there, quietly looking down at the table, looking more pained with each revelation_. (What is it with Kei-chan? All of those girls care about him, one way or another. But he is sadder now than any time I've ever known him. There's something about all this I just don't get.)_

Sitting back, Yasumiko watches the struggle going on across Keitaro's face. Emotions, ranging from longing, to sadness, to confusion, to fear and desperation and back again.

And behind it all, loneliness. A deep, bitter loneliness that threatens to pull him down and crush his soul.

Yasumiko's hand goes to her throat, which constricts at the realization, as her eyes burn with tears for her friend's plight. She understands now. Surrounded by those he protects, who he works his fingers to the bones for, and who he even loves, Keitaro is alone. In a home full of the people he cares for more than himself, he is all alone.

Reaching out to his hand, Yasumiko holds it until Keitaro looks up and meets her eyes. Trying to fight the quaver in her voice, she asks, "They've n-never said anything to you, have they? About having any real human feelings for you, other than ignoring you, playing jokes on you, hitting you, and calling you names? Oh please tell me that isn't true, Kei-chan!"

Keitaro stares at Yasumiko, his jaw clenched and his lip trembling. _(Oh Kami! How could those girls ignore so completely what you do for them?)_ Reaching into her uniform pocket, she throws some bills on the table and stands, dragging Keitaro out of the diner before he possibly loses control of himself. Gently, she tells her friend, "Come on, Kei-chan. You need some fresh air. Let's walk."

For half an hour they walk. Yasumiko tries a few times to draw Keitaro into some type of conversation; small talk to at least get him to relax a bit. But he refuses to more than grunt in acknowledgement. Her fear for him grows the closer they get to Hinata-sou. If he doesn't talk about it, get it into the open and discuss it, he might decide to do something rash on his own, without regard to his needs. She knows it's the way Keitaro is.

Keitaro is feeling pretty bad. Bad? That doesn't begin to describe how low he is feeling right now. Although he knew it deep inside, his optimistic view on life kept him from admitting it to himself_. (The girls don't ever worry about how I feel; they've never shown that they really care. No matter what I did, nothing was ever good enough. Never a 'Thank You, Keitaro, the hot springs are nice and clean'; no "Hey, Keitaro, do you need help carrying that stuff up the stairs'; and never a hug when I felt so tired of all the work that I could just….. Heck, why should they? I'm nothing special, just a stupid baka who can barely manage an all-girl dorm after his granny dumps it on his ass. I can't even get into University. Maybe they're all better off without me. I-if I go away, really go away, they can move back into their home. Haruka can manage Hinata much better than I ever did and the girls wouldn't waste so much time worrying about 'the pervert' being around anymore.)_

As they near Hinata-sou, Keitaro hears the voices of the girls coming from behind the closed door of Haruka's Tea Shop. His feet slow to a stop and he stands there, Yasumiko holding his arm. As the most of the lights go out and their voices quiet and fade, a tear falls silently down his cheek, and he whispers "Why? Why was I such a poor manager?"

"Kei-chan! You are NOT a poor manager. It's not your fault those girls can't see beyond their own problems and see what's right in front of them." She softly responds, hating to hear her friend put himself down_. (Oh Kei-chan please, keep talking to me! You've got to!)_

Keitaro shakes his head. "I can't blame them, Yaya-chan. It wouldn't be right." A smile that she realizes does not come from his heart forces itself onto his face. He tells her "I'll be alright." And she knows that is the last he's going to say in the matter. "I need to get upstairs. I have a lot of catching up to do, since I haven't been allowed up at the inn for over a week. I'll be seeing you, Yaya-chan. Good-night." _(I'll ask Haruka to come up tomorrow so I can tell her what I've decided. I don't think I can handle going to prep-school tomorrow and seeing Narusegawa again.)_ he thinks to himself.

As he turns with feet that seem too heavy to make the climb, Yasumiko quietly calls to him "Kei-chan, try to sleep tonight. Everything will be better, don't worry" she says, not knowing or believing if what she says is the truth.

She watches him until he disappears over the top of the steps to the inn. Looking at the Tea Shop, she debates whether or not to confront the girls about how they have treated Keitaro, but remembers her promise. She slumps as she turns to go home to her apartment. _(Fat lotta good I did on my first day as Kei-chan's police escort)_ she thinks bitterly, _(and I probably won't do any better after I move in, either.)_

"Yasumiko?" a soft voice causes her to freeze in her step. She spins back to the Tea House to see Haruka standing there, cigarette in her mouth and two cups of tea in her hands. "I thought I heard you and Keitaro out here. He must be pretty down after everything that's happened, and you look like you could use a cup of tea. Do you want to come around back and talk for a bit?"

Yasumiko looks up at the Tea House. Haruka says "Don't worry. The girls are getting ready for bed, and they won't hear us from the outdoor cafe." The older woman says, leading the way to the tables behind the Tea Shop.

Some time later, the two women, having pooled their various accounts, decide on a plan of action.

The girls, with Haruka's 'help', will all need to learn some long-overdue lessons while trying to get back with their manager.

Yasumiko will turn a blind eye to their antics, insofar as they do not constitute a threat, physically or emotionally, to Keitaro. If it gets out of hand, all gloves are off. Plus, she will attempt to keep the Magistrate from discovering what the girls are up to.

"Oshiro-sensei talked to me this afternoon at the courthouse. She has a substantial amount of vacation time saved up, and she is looking to use a good deal of it to 'relax' up at the inn." Haruka tells her. "I gathered from her actions that she may pose more of a 'threat' to Keitaro than the girls do."

"I already have some ideas on that, Haruka-san. I'll keep that 'cougar' at bay when she gets the urge to prowl. I might even convince Keitaro it would be a good idea to occasionally sleep in one of the older, vacant rooms, while I sleep in his, as a decoy. Because I don't think he'll be too comfortable for a while spending any great amount of time in the girls' rooms."

"What's going to be the hard part is if we just out and tell the girls what royal bitches they've been, they won't learn their lesson. They need to see what they've done to Keitaro, how they're ignoring him has almost gone too far. It's a shame all this happened, really, because the girls 'were' preparing to throw Keitaro a party, thanking him for being their manager."

She adjusts her cigarette holder, "But this may work out to his advantage better. They need to realize that he's more than a manager; he's been their friend, ally, confident, protector, and, if some of them would just open their eyes, the kind of man they have been hoping to find. But, if he won't confront them or tell them to their faces, they may never realize what they've been doing to him in a way that'll make a difference, a real difference." Haruka says with trepidation, "and we know how likely it is that Keitaro would ever get up the nerve to give those girls a good talking to."

"That's where we come in. We hope." Yasumiko replies.

Looking at her watch, Haruka says, "You'd better get home and get some sleep. It's going to be the start of some long days soon, and you need to get what rest you can. I'll try to keep the girls out of your hair for a few days, but they are already making plans. Be ready." Haruka rises, taking the tea cup from the redhead.

"Thanks. I feel a lot better knowing you'll be working things on this side of the issue, Haruka-san." Yasumiko smiles as she stands, and, with a wave, heads back home to get some sleep and prepare herself to be Keitaro's 'guardian angel', so to speak.


	12. Chapter 12 Plans among plans

**Love Hina – Ronin Rescue**

**Chapter Twelve – Plans among plans –or- The wheels keep on turning**

"_You'd better get home and get some sleep. It's going to be the start of some long days in a week, and you need to get what rest you can. I'll try to keep the girls out of your hair for a few days, but they are already making plans. Be ready." Haruka rises, taking the tea cup from the redhead._

"_Thanks. I feel a lot better knowing you'll be working things on this side of the issue, Haruka-san." Yasumiko smiles as she stands, and, with a wave, heads back home to get some sleep and prepare herself to be Keitaro's 'guardian angel', so to speak._

**One week later, early Monday Morning**

Having told herself to wake up especially early, Shinobu is determined that no one knows what she is up to, so she makes sure no one is awake before she leaves. Dressing as quietly as she can, she slips out the door of the Tea Shop before sunrise and rushes up the stairs to the inn. Letting herself in with her key, she hurries to the kitchen, eager to start making a special breakfast for her Sempai, whom she hasn't seen since last Monday; since the magistrates' orders said she couldn't resume working for Keitaro for one week to allow a cooling-off period after the court hearings.

_(This is going to be the first time Sempai and I have breakfast together by ourselves, alone!)_ She thinks excitedly. Opening the refrigerator, Shinobu is stunned. Instead of it being stocked full of fresh food, it is empty except for one or two partially eaten take-out boxes from Keitaro's favorite beef bowl restaurant and a nearly empty liter of milk.

_(Aaauuuuu! Sempai! Haven't you been able to eat any real meals since we've been gone? Oh, my poor Sempai!)_ Shinobu worries. "Oh no! What am I going to do? The markets don't open for two more hours!" Shinobu thinks furiously. Then it comes to her.

Rushing back down the stairs, Shinobu thinks _(We brought more than enough food last week! I'll just get some from the Tea Shop!)_ Reaching the door, she tries to open it, but it is still locked from the inside. Frantically, she searches her pockets before she remembers that she left her keys up at the inn. Racing back up the stairs, she finds the door locked behind her.

Dejectedly, Shinobu walks back down the stairs, figuring she will have to ask Haruka for her key. "It isn't fair! I don't want to have to wake up anyone else and have them find out what I'm up to!" Reaching the Tea Shop, she grabs her shoulders and shakes herself "I finally get a chance to have Sempai all to myself at breakfast!"

Shinobu is silent for a second as she wiggles with anticipation. Then, a voice behind her says, "Her next line is supposed to be 'Did I just say that out loud?', if I am not mistaken." Motoko says.

"Yep, Ah suppose she'll then yelp 'Aaauuuuu!' after that." Kitsune drawls.

"Then she'll either pee her panties, or faint." Naru replies.

"I thinks she'll do boths if ya asks me!" Su adds.

"Oh my, little Shinobu is planning to have Kei-kun for breakfast all to herself!" Mutsumi ponders.

"Mew, mew!" Tama-chan mews.

"Eeep!" Shinobu spins around, her hands raised to her mouth.

Motoko is standing at the corner of the Tea Shop with Su on her shoulders, Naru and Kitsune just behind her, and Mutsumi peeking out from behind them all with Tama-chan on her head.

"I, I, I, I, I….." Shinobu sputters.

Kitsune smiles at the young cook. "And the 'ayes' have it! It's unanimous; Shinobu was sneaking up there to make Keitaro some breakfast." Looking at the other girls, she continues, a sly smile on her face, "Or, maybe to make some _Keitaro_ breakfast, hmmm?"

Shinobu blushes at the image Kitsune's comment brings to mind.

"Perhaps she was expecting to serve Urashima breakfast in bed." Motoko suggests, her voice tinged with a hint of steel as she holds her sword, now returned from the police, in her hand. "Tell us; what foul, lecherous, perverted plan did you have in mind for that young maiden, er, I mean, for our kanrinin, Shinobu-chan?"

"But, I, that is, it isn't wh-what you th-think!" Shinobu stutters, her hands raised in front of her.

Naru cracks her knuckles, stepping towards the shaking young girl, "I suppose you were gonna claim it was 'just an accident, that you didn't mean it' later, huh Shinobu? Just go up there and have your way with Keitaro under our noses?"

"H-h-have m-my w-way with S-Sempai?" Shinobu's blush goes to level five, on a scale of one to three.

Mutsumi puts her hand on her cheek. "Oh dear, that just won't do. I mean, you don't even have any melons to offer Kei-kun, Shinobu."

Everyone sweat drops and looks at the Okinawan for a few seconds. "Mutsumi, that just never sounds right." Kitsune says, as Shinobu shakes like a leaf in a hurricane. The others nod in agreement.

Su leaps off Motoko's shoulders to land in front of Shinobu. "Yeah, whats do you thinks you're gonna do up there, Shinobus? Ya wants to gets a banana or something? And are halforways with Keitaros yummy?"

"I, I, I p-p…." THUNK!

"Hey, I was rights! Shinobus did do boths!" Su exclaims, kneeling beside the now unconscious Shinobu and placing the girl's head on her legs. "Don't knows why, all I asked was if she wanted a banana." as she produces a handful of the yellow fruits.

As everyone gathers around them, Motoko kneels beside the two youngest girls. After inspecting the out-cold Shinobu, she states, "I feel we may have gone somewhat too far in our teasing of Shinobu-chan. She is most definitely incapacitated, and will be for some time, I am afraid."

Naru, looking down at their cook, speaks in a contrite tone of voice. "I feel terrible. I know we all want to see Keitaro, and, I admit, I'm jealous that Shinobu can see him every day. But I didn't mean for her to miss being able to go up there. And besides, we know that _someone_ has to take care of Keitaro, doing his cooking and laundry for him."

"Poor Kei-kun. And he was probably looking forward to Shinobu being allowed to return to work today. At least, we are all together and have each other for company. He must be lonely up there." Mutsumi looks up the hill towards Hinata-sou, a tear in her otherwise smiling eyes.

"Poor Keitaros. He doesn't even haves anyones to plays with him, either." Su says.

Kitsune shudders a bit. "Ah hate to imagine how he's managing without us around to keep him focused. Probably wearing the same clothes day-in, day-out, and eating take-out every day, since their ain't another person up there to cook meals for him. And from Shinobu's condition, probably not until tomorrow, at least. Poor Keitaro."

Motoko stands, her mind racing back to her thoughts of a week ago; _(Maybe not another cook, but another Shinobu-chan, perhaps?)_

_(Yes, perhaps this is the time to take action on my plan. I have not fully prepared, but, Urashima must not be denied nutritious meals and clean clothing!)_ Motoko makes her decision. "Since someone must take responsibility for depriving Kei, uh, Urashima of his hired cook, I shall endeavor to undertake Shinobu's duties until she is recovered sufficiently to resume them!" she states, her arms crossed in front of her.

Naru turns, a look of surprise and worry on her face. "B-but, Motoko! You know as well as the rest of us that we aren't allowed to go up there! Or did you forget the restraining order only allows Shinobu to go up there as the cook and laundress?"

Kitsune adds "Ya'll must be crazy, Motoko! If you go up there, they'll drag ya off to the hoosegow and throw away the key. You remember the way that over-endowed cougar of a magistrate looked at Keitaro? She'd have your guts for garters if you go to Hinata-sou in Shinobu's place!"

Motoko turns to her friends. With a smile slowly building on her face, she speaks. "Exactly. Only _Shinobu-chan_ is allowed to go up to Hinata-sou." she says, a hint of humor in her voice.

Everyone looks at her, not comprehending what she is implying. Until Mutsumi puts her hand to her cheek; "Oh my! That is so clever of you, Motoko! I wish I had thought of that myself! But, do you think Shinobu had any clothes that would fit you?"

Motoko bows to the melon lady while everyone else's jaws drop to the ground.

Su looks up from holding Shinobu's head, "Ain't ya a bit talls for the part, stick waving momma?"

Naru; "B-b-b-but…."

Kitsune says, "Hmmm. This opens up some possibilities." as she rubs her chin.

Motoko looks at the prone figure of the young cook. "I am sure that, with little difficulty, I can fit into something of Shinobu-chan's. Haruka also has that closet of clothing and theatrical equipment, so I can find an appropriate wig to disguise myself."

Regaining her voice, Naru squeaks, "You are the tallest one of us, Motoko. And, if you hadn't noticed, Shinobu is about the shortest. How in the world can you even imagine that you can pull this off?" she asks, her fists on her hips, bitter that she didn't think of it first.

Mutsumi answers, "Don't you remember what Haruka told us? Kei-kun has never been any good at seeing through costumes. Why, last month, you remember that I borrowed your jacket to go to the store, since mine was in the cleaners?"

Nodding, Naru replies, "Yes, I remember. But, a jacket is NOT a costume."

"Exactly! I was walking down the stairs here when I passed Kei-kun. Even though he was right in front of me, he thought I was you, even after I spoke to him. He thought 'you' had 'my' voice down pat." Mutsumi giggles. "I admit, there was a bit of a temptation, though."

Naru, looking confused, "Temptation? For what?" Kitsune leans over and whispers into Naru's ear. Blushing two shades of red, she whirls on Mutsumi. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh dear, well,…..maybe!" she answers, smiling sweetly.

"Back to the point; Urashima cannot see through a disguise, no matter how poorly put together it is." Motoko continues, "Which is why I am confident I can deceive him. As an added precaution, I plan on relieving him, temporarily, of his glasses, at least until Shinobu is able for her duties, and I shall stay seated or kneeling in his company, so as to not to appear too tall."

Looking up, having heard most of the conversation, Shinobu says, "I, I th-think I feel a bit better, M-Motoko-sempai. I can take the trash out and feed the donkey after I wash the cat." Turning to Su , she says "Point me towards danger, Azeem. I'm ready!"

"No, you do not. You do not feel at all well, Shinobu-chan! I insist that you relax for at least twenty-four hours to recover from the fright we put you through!" Motoko says, her eyes dancing with the prospects of playing 'cook' for Keitaro. If Naru had seen that look, claws might have been unsheathed (but, that is a later chapter!)

Shinobu sits up and puts her hand to her cheek, "Oh my, I think I understand how melon lady feels! Oh, dear!" THUNK!

Su leaps up, "Mayday! Mayday, the cook on the mat, I repeat, Cookie is down! All stations to battle-hands, er, I means all hands to battle-stations! Red alert, red alert!" she pulls out a remote control.

"STOP, SU!" the others yell in unison.

Kitsune quickly explains, "Don't forget what happened the last time ya'll called in your 'nurse' mecha-tamas, Su! Ya'll nearly flambéed poor little Shinobu, and we ain't got Keitaro here to protect us in case something goes wrong…again!"

Tilting her head, Su looks from Kitsune, to the others, to her remote control, and to Shinobu (whose eyes are twirling as she lies on the ground, repeating "This little Cookie went to market, to get her poor Sempai a beef bowl!") "I thinks discretions is the better parts of valium today." She puts the remote control away, and helps Naru pick up the dazed and confused Shinobu to assist her back into their apartment, followed by the rest of the girls. Motoko brings up the rear, deep in contemplation of her plan.

Rubbing her hands together, she says to herself; "How difficult can it be? I have observed Shinobu-chan on many occasions preparing meals. Take the required items, mix them together over heat or in the oven, and serve. Simple. I am sure that Urashima shall be most impressed by my culinary preparations!"

Kitsune, just hearing Motoko's remarks, thinks _(Oh Spit! I hope ya'll has a healthy supply of stomach medicine, Keitaro. Ah'm afraid ya'll is going to need it!)_


	13. Chapter 13 Shinobu's List

**Love Hina – Ronin Rescue**

**Chapter Thirteen – Shinobu's List**

_Rubbing her hands together, she says to herself, "How difficult can it be? I have observed Shinobu-chan on many occasions preparing meals. Take the required items, mix them together over heat or in the oven, and serve. Simple. Urashima shall be most impressed by my culinary preparations!"_

_Kitsune, just hearing Motoko's remarks, thinks (Oh Spit! I hope ya'll has a healthy supply of stomach medicine, Keitaro. Ah'm afraid ya'll is going to need it!)_

**Monday morning, still well before dawn;**

Motoko, having rummaged through Shinobu's clothing, finds only one outfit that comes close to fitting her; a pale yellow dress with shoulder straps. Having noticed that her chest bands are all too visible from the back, Motoko reluctantly decides to dispense with them for the day.

Squeezing herself into the dress, Motoko finds to her dismay that the outfit, while loose and reaching to just below Shinobu's knees, just barely succeeds in covering her legs like a tight mini-skirt. Blushing slightly, she checks herself in the mirror, making sure that, as short as the clothing is, nothing untoward shows. Satisfied, she then places the wig she found in Haruka's closet, after carefully compressing her own tresses under a hair net to keep them from falling loose.

Motoko steps out of the bathroom, presenting herself for inspection by the other girls. To her embarrassment and surprise, Haruka is sitting there with them, arms crossed, a cigarette dangling from her lips.

"Woohoo! Go for it, Cookie, Ah mean Shinobu! Keitaro is sure to notice ya in that dress! Yay!" Kitsune says, placing her fingers between her teeth and whistling like a New York construction worker.

"Oh my, Shinobu, how you've grown! Kei-kun can't help but notice you now!" Mutsumi giggles.

Su tilts her head, "Ya don't looks nothing likes Shinobus, but Keitaros is gonna flip at that mini-skirties ya is wearings!" Su claps her hands "Don't break him much before I gets a chance ta plays with him again!" Motoko blushes again.

Naru stares at Motoko, an angry look on her face. "You can't seriously be thinking of going up there like that, Motoko! How can you even think of letting Keitaro see you like this!" she says, her frown changing to a wide grin as she pulls a heart-covered apron from behind her back. "At least, not without wearing this, Moto-Shinobu! You little cutey, you!"

"Hmmm, if I didn't know what was going on, Motoko, I'd swear that you were Shinobu." The older woman says sarcastically. "I know Keitaro is a little slow sometimes, but do you seriously think you can get away with this?" Adjusting her cigarette, she continues, "I mean, Shinobu doesn't carry a sword. A frying pan is more her style." Haruka says, pointing to Motoko's side.

Glancing down, she sees she does indeed have her sword in her hand. Reluctantly, she reaches over and sets it against the dresser. Knowing she is going to stand before Keitaro, she feels nearly naked without it, and suppresses an urge to grab it. Looking up, she sees Haruka, a sly grin on her face, holding out a frying pan for her.

Taking it, she bows "Thank you, Haruka-san. I appreciate the advice and assistance."

Adjusting her cigarette, she adds, "Another thing. Your voice."

Confused, Motoko repeats "My voice?" while placing her hand on her throat.

"Yes. You don't sound like Shinobu. Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do about that. The other thing is the way you talk. You are formal all the time. Shinobu is polite."

As the other girls giggle, Motoko says, "Then what is the problem? To speak in a formal manner is the utmost in being polite. It shows respect for one's audience, and encourages their attention."

You don't understand. Your speech is too formal and strong. Shinobu's is polite and deferring. If you want to fool my nephew, you need to talk like Shinobu."

"What would you suggest?"

"First, don't call him Urashima. Shinobu always calls Keitaro 'Sempai' or 'my Sempai'."

Motoko looks at Haruka with a hint of panic. "I, I could NEVER call Urashima Sem…, Sem…,Sem-pai! It is a title of respect! A title to be earned! A title for a trusted…"

Holding her hand up, Haruka interrupts the sword master. "That's for you to decide, Motoko. But, if you can't see it in yourself to give my nephew even a little of the respect he's worked his damned hide off to earn, and I might add, deserves from all of you, this game ends now! I won't have you playing with Kei's emotions just to try to lessen your feelings of guilt! Do all of you understand me?" Haruka turns and looks at the rest of the girls, the warning in her eyes evident for all to see.

Motoko bows her head. "Forgive me, Haruka-san. You are right. I shall do as you say. For today, Urashima shall be…sem…sem…s-sempai…He is s-sempai…M-m-my sempai."

Motoko's eyes whirl slightly. "M-My sempai?...My Sempai…My Sempai!"

A goofy smile come to her face. "All mine, my Sempai!...More rice, my Sempai?...Let me refresh your tea, My Sempai!"

Motoko twirls on one foot, her hands spread out to her sides. "Let me wash that for you, my Sempai!..Coffee, tea, or me, my Sempai?"

She does a little dance, her hands cupped on her cheeks. "My Sempai, My Sempai, My Sempaaaaaiiiii! Would you like turtle with your….AAAHH! TURTLE, TURTLE, TURTLE!" Motoko screams and rushes around in circles and the frying pan in her hands swinging madly and hitting nothing.

A grinning Naru, having shoved Tama-chan down the back of Motoko's dress, looks at the others and asks innocently, "What?"

A whispered voice calls out, "Hinata-Kicchin no Wakai to Kawaii Kukku no Hiranabe! Hinata Kitchen Attack of the Cute Young Cook's Frying Pan!" Suddenly, a second frying pan flies out of nowhere, striking Motoko's head. The sword maiden, dazed, drops to the ground as Tama-chan crawls out of her dress, her little turtle eyes whirling.

Everyone turns to look in the direction the kitchen implement came from. Lying on a futon, the semi-conscious Shinobu, her hand still raised in the air, whispers "**MY** Sempai!"

Haruka adjusts her cigarette while watching Motoko rise to her knees rubbing the back of her head. "Well, I guess that's only fair. She wants to act like she's Shinobu, so Shinobu gets to return the favor."

Grinning, Kitsune winks and says "Plus, Ah think the little she-cub's letting it be known that Keitaro is just plain sempai to the rest of us."

**Twenty minutes later**

Haruka looks up as there is a knock on the Tea Shop door. Walking over, she opens it to find Motoko standing there. "Uh, my humblest apologies, Haruka-san. But, would you have a spare key to the inn?"

**Five minutes later, before sunrise.**

Unlocking the front door of the inn, Motoko steps inside, closing her eyes as she does so. _(I had not realized how much I missed this place. Not being allowed in is not the same as being away for training camp.)_ Motoko quietly eases up the stairs to stand outside Keitaro's room. Whispering quietly, so as not to wake him if he is already up, she asks, "Ura, uh, Kei, uh, I mean sempai, are you awake at this hour?"

Hearing nothing, she places her ear to the door. Only the sounds of soft breathing can be heard. Slowly, she slides open the door, peering in to see Keitaro, his face towards the door, sleeping in his futon. Motoko freezes for a moment, and then looks around his room. Spotting his glasses on the desk, she slides the door open a bit more, and stealthily glides over and picks them up, slipping them into the pocket of her apron.

A soft sound causes Motoko to spin, a frying pan suddenly appearing in her hands like a sword held at the ready. As she turns, she looks down at Keitaro. She raises the pan over her head, ready to strike, when Keitaro calls out softly in his sleep "Oh, you're such a child! No, please, no more. I give, I'm sorry! Aaaaah!" She freezes for a moment, then, lowering the frying pan to look at it, thinks, _(Even in sleep, it would appear you are…) _Something warm wraps itself around her ankle. Suppressing a yelp, Motoko looks and see Keitaro hugging her lower leg, a small smile appearing on his face. _(Why that lousy, deceitful, lecherous, perverted…)_Frying raised over her head again, she prepares to strike.

Whispering in his sleep, Keitaro says, "You came back." Motoko stands there, unable to move. After a minute, she carefully extracts her foot, and steps away from his futon.

Shaking and trembling, "Spirits! Forgive me! I..I was about to strike him for no reason" Motoko whispers. _(Since when has that mattered)_ her mind asks _(He's always doing something to warrant being punished, isn't he? Why wait, you always justify striking him anyways, go ahead, do it. Strike a sleeping, unarmed man, innocent man! What's the difference? It's just Urashima, isn't it? Awake or asleep, it is still Keitaro! He deserves it! DO IT!)_ Motoko slowly lowers the frying pan _(Aw, what's wrong? Feeling a little guilty, huh? Well, it's about time!)_

Returning to the hallway, she slides the door closed and proceeds to the kitchen. Smiling slightly, Motoko says to herself, "I do not know who you thought had come back, but for now, I am content. Next time, however, Urashima. Next time you dare grab me, I will not be so lenient."

Reaching the kitchen, she looks around. Motoko is a bit confused as where to begin. As she opens the cabinets she says, "Truth be told, I have rarely been in this room, unless I was chasing Urashima for some perverted action he had perpetrated upon one of us. I do not even…ahhh". Seeing a notebook on the counter, she picks it up. "Hmmm. This says **'Things to do'**. Perhaps what I need is here."

Sitting at the table, she reads the first page. It is a schedule of Shinobu's daily tasks; from collecting everyone's laundry from the baskets in their rooms and the hot springs changing room, to preparing breakfast, washing dishes and such in the morning, to drying laundry on the lines or in the dryers if the weather is bad, sorting and folding it, returning it to the owners, going to the market for any fresh goods needed, preparing tea, taking a cup of tea to Sempai and his tutor _(strange that she specifically mentions serving Urashima)_, preparing dinner, washing dishes, cleaning the kitchen _(Shinobu-chan, I never realized how busy you keep yourself around here, making our lives easier. I am impressed.)_

Reading through the chores list to make sure she understands everything, Motoko stealthily returns to Keitaro's room and gets his clothes basket, stopping by the changing room to collect a few pink bathing towels that need washing, and takes the loads to the laundry. Placing everything next to a washer, she ponders the proper amount of detergent, bleach, and softener to use.

"Well, Shinobu always returns our clothes clean and smelling freshened. I suppose a few cups each should do the job." Motoko says to herself. So, two cups of detergent, two cups of bleach, and two cups of softener are poured into the machine, followed by Keitaro's whites, blue jeans, shirts, a wool sweater, a pair of black tennis shoes, socks, underclothes, a red baseball cap, and the pink towels from the hot springs. Setting the machine to hot wash, she presses 'start' and returns the empty basket to the manager's room. "Well, that was easy!"

Going back to the kitchen, she notices the same thing Shinobu had; there is nothing to prepare meals with except for one or two partially eaten take-out boxes of beef bowls and a nearly empty liter of milk. Rummaging through the cabinets, Motoko finds little else to make a meal with.

_(No! This cannot be? I must ensure that Urashima is fed the nutritious food he is accustomed to from Shinobu's kitchen! What am I going to….Wait! There is an all-night sashimi bar Kitsune always raves about not far from here!) _

**[A.N. Sashimi is ****a Japanese delicacy primarily consisting of very fresh raw seafood, sliced into thin pieces, served with soy sauce and wasabi. In Motoko's case, it is a dish she can easily prepare as it requires no cooking and plenty of precision blade work.]**

Rushing out the door, ensuring she has the key this time, Motoko sprints as fast as the tight dress (borrowed from Shinobu's wardrobe) allows. Within fifteen minutes, she returns with a covered platter of fresh sashimi and side sauces.

As she enters the kitchen, Motoko stops dead in her tracks. In front of her, wearing a sleep robe and pouring a cup of tea from the pot she had prepared, stands a red-haired female. The same one, she realizes, she saw Keitaro with at the courthouse.

_(Huh? That's that Aoyama character! But, she's not supposed to be on the grounds of Hinata, let alone inside! What is she doing?)_ "P-pardon me, m-may I ask what exactly is going on here? Yasumiko stutters quietly, a tea cup in her hand as she tries to lean nonchalantly on the counter, only to miss and slip, banging her chin on the edge. "Yow! Oh that hurts!" she says, rubbing her jaw.

Motoko, momentarily taken aback, stutters her cover story. "Uh, I am Moyahara. Maehara! Shinobu Maehara! Yes, that is right! I am Shinobu Maehara, cook and laundry staff of the Hinata Girls Dormitory! Yes. That is who I am. I am Shinobu Maehara! A-and, who are you?" Motoko's hand goes to her side, only to remember she does not have her sword with her.

Yasumiko thinks to herself _(Ah ha! So, Haruka was right! Well, since she doesn't know who I am, I guess I can play along a bit, see what exactly her game is before I go to work.)_ "Oh! Well, good-morning, Maehara-san! I have heard quite a bit about you from Urashima-san since I moved in. He has told me how much he is looking forward to enjoying your company, as well as your cooking, again." she says, recovering her tea cup, and holding up a second one while looking at Motoko, who nods.

Pouring a second cup, she bows and offers it to the sword maiden, who accepts it warily after setting the sashimi on the table. "Y-you, uh, that is I was wondering, ah….Who are you, and what exactly are you doing here?" Motoko asks as she sits.

"Oh, pardon me. My name is Yasumiko Murayama. I am a pol-..I mean, I am , ahm, a student. A student at the Hinata City Vocational College. Yes. I moved out of my parent's house last week, and found this place after talking to my friend Haruka Urashima. She…"

"Y-you know Haruka-san?" Motoko asks.

"Yes. She and I have known each other for years." Yasumiko says. _(I think I'd better not mention that Kei and I are friends. I get the feeling from Haruka that might not be a good idea.)_ "In fact," Yasumiko says, smiling coyly while raising one eyebrow suggestively, "Haruka and I know each other _very_ well, if you understand what I mean. Oh, my pardon, I-I shouldn't speak of such things to a middle-school student, should I?" _(Haruka'll either kill me if she hears this, or laugh her head off. Or both!)_

Motoko, her tea cup halfway to her mouth, freezes. _(Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! I detect a strong scent of lilacs blooming! Naru, Kitsune, URASHIMA! HELP ME!)_ "M-m-middle sch-school s-s-student? B-but I am…ah, er.." she sputters, slowly edging her chair around to the far side of the table.

"Yes. Aren't you in middle school, Maehara-san? Although, I must say, you look very mature for a middle-schooler. Tell me, you must work out a lot, huh?" Yasumiko asks, scooting her chair to follow.

_(Damn! I almost forgot I am supposed to be Shinobu! And she seems to know about us! Who is this female?)_ "Er, yes, yes, that is correct, Murayama-san." Another chair scoot.

Scoot some more. "How good for you. I bet the other girls in your class are jealous. I know I'd be." Yasumiko replies, trying hard to keep from breaking down and laughing her head off _(Keitaro will get a big kick outta this when he sees her.)_

As if on cue, the door to the kitchen opens and in walks Keitaro. Motoko, relief written all over her face, throws herself into his chest. "URASHIMA! Bless the Spirits, you have saved me!"

His arms frozen in a half-raised attempt to hold her, Keitaro stares, first at the girl in his arms, then at Yasumiko. "Sh-Shinobu-chan? Shinobu-chan! It's you! Oh, it IS you! Oh, you don't know how happy I am to see any of you again! I've missed all of you so much! Please, forgive me for what happened! I'm so sorry! Forgive me Shinobu-chan!"

Yasumiko freezes, her mouth wide open. _(What the heck? Keitaro honestly thinks this is Maehara-san?)_

Motoko looks up at Keitaro, "Urashima? You must be mistaken! I am...oof!" Motoko grunts as Yasumiko 'accidentally' bumps into her on the way to the door.

"O-oh, pardon me, Maehara-san. Forgive me, Maehara-san, but I need to change before breakfast, Maehara-san." _(I hope she gets the hint)_Yasumiko goes back to her room to dress.

Keitaro looks from Yasumiko to Motoko. "Oh, you two have already met? Great! It seems like you are getting along just fine. I was kinda worried what might happen when you ran into each other, Shinobu-chan. And, I have to admit, I was afraid you might not want to work here anymore after what happened. I hope you and the others can forgive me someday."

_(Spirits! I almost revealed my secret to Urashima!)_ Spinning quickly, Motoko sprints to a chair to sit down before Keitaro sees her standing at her full height. She drops to the seat and grabs the notebook/recipe book, not noticing that her hair has come loose in the back and has fallen out of the wig."S-sempai! There is nothing to forgive. Please, let your conscience be at rest. I have prepared some tea if you would like to join me before breakfast."

"Oh, yes, that would be great, Shinobu-chan. And, since you are here, I want to ask you something." Keitaro says, grabbing a cup and preparing some tea.

Pretending to be reading the cook book, Motoko says "Yes, Ura-, ah, Sempai?"

"I seem to have mis-placed my glasses. Could you keep an eye out for them? If I can't find them, I'm gonna have to go buy another pair tomorrow so I can see to study."

Touching her apron pocket where Keitaro's glasses are, "O-of course, S-Sempai! I am sure that I will be able to find them during the performance of my daily routine. Do not worry yourself over them." Motoko replies.

"Oh, and later I am going to the market, and I wondered if you wanted to go with me? It's seems like forever since we were able to take a walk to the market." Keitaro asks innocently.

_(You and Shinobu-chan walked often together to the market, but, I cannot risk exposing my deception, no matter how wonderful, I mean, how clueless you may be. Someone at the market may question my appearance, or worse, recognize me!) _

Turning away from him, Motoko looks out the window as she composes herself _(A walk with Urashima?)_ Speaking out loud, Motoko responds, "I am sorry, Sempai! I have much to do, since I am out of practice. It has been over a week since I prepared nourishing meals for you, and, uh…Ah!" holding the book in her hands up for Keitaro to see, she continues, "And I must study this recipe book to refresh my memory. I must therefore respectfully decline your offer. Please do not think ill of me, Sempai."

Keitaro, having been staring at the back of Motoko's head, now looks her in the eyes, his brows knit together in thought. _(Spirits! That look in his eyes! Has he…, is it possible…, can Urashima have seen through my disguise? He has! Ancestors! What shall I do?)_

Keitaro scratches his head, frowning. "Shinobu-chan, when did you grow a mullet?"

Motoko looks at her kanrinin with a look of total confusion. _(Why in my ancestor's names does Urashima think I am wearing sea food?)_ **[Motoko thinks Keitaro means a mollusk]**

"Uh, Sempai, you must be seeing things without your glasses! I have no such sea creature on my person. Are you feeling well? There are no mollusks here!" Motoko asks, worried that Keitaro may be losing it.

Keitaro stares, then grins, and then laughs so hard he sheds a tear. Holding his stomach, he wipes his eye and says, "That's funny, Shinobu-chan. That caught me off-guard real good! A mollusk! Good one!" Laughing some more, "Oh, man, I haven't had a reason to laugh since, well, since you all had to leave. Thank you, Shinobu-chan." Keitaro leans over and kisses Motoko on the cheek "I needed a good laugh." he says, placing his hand on her head and patting it.

Blushing three shades plus one, Motoko reaches up and touches her cheek. _(Urashima kissed me? He dared to kiss me? And I let him? Why did I let him kiss my cheek? Will he do it again?)_ she wonders. Waving her hands frantically, she knocks a butcher knife to the floor in her confusion.

"I am sorry, Uras-, uh Sempai! Do not get up, I shall retrieve that blade." Motoko, trying to stand up while appearing as short as possible, quickly scrambles to the knife. Bending over, she reaches down to pick up the utensil. Feeling a slight draft and hearing an all-too familiar noise, "GACK! P-p-pink p-p-panties? Sh-Shinobu-chan?" she looks back between her legs and sees Keitaro, his hand on his nose as blood gushes from it, collapsing to the kitchen floor, his tea cup spilled by his hand and his right foot twitching.

Dropping to her knees, Motoko spins to face the unconscious Keitaro, her hands holding the butcher knife like a sword. "UraSempai! You foul, deceitful, lecherous, perverted male! How dare you peer at Shinobu-chan, she's only a middle school student! Shinmei-ryu no NikuyaSa-roin, God's Cry Attack of the Sirloin Blade!"

_(NO! It was not Shinobu-chan he saw, it was me! I..must..pull..back..)_ Motoko strains to reign in the power of her strike at the last moment. The strain in her muscles threatens to burst the stitching of the all-too-tight dress she is wearing as a disguise.

A semi-vortex spins off the butcher knife, striking Keitaro, but barely lifting him off the ground.

Rolling to a stop after only three or four feet, Keitaro shakes his head and looks up at Motoko, who rushes over to kneel next to him, examining him to see if he has taken any harm from her inadvertent attack. "Keitaro Sempai! Are you alright?"

Rising to his knees, Keitaro looks around. Rubbing the back of his neck, he grins and says, "That's funny! I could have sworn I just got hit by one of Motoko's attacks. But, since there's no hole in the wall, I guess I was just imagining it." He smiles at Motoko, and stands up to get a towel from the counter to clean up the mess on the floor.

Motoko puts her hand out "Please, let me clean this up for you. It is, after all, part of my duties around here, is it not?"

"Sure, Shinobu-chan. Here ya go, but I'll help you. I shouldn't have, well, you know, seen what I saw. So I guess it's actually my fault." He says, blushing slightly.

_(I flash him, and he holds me blameless? In fact, he takes responsibility for it? Is this what has happened every time in the past when I judged him to be a perverted male, lusting after me and my friends?)_ Motoko wonders, looking at the floor.

Kneeling to help her clean up the spilled tea, Keitaro looks at Motoko. Squinting, he rubs the back of his head. Motoko, sensing that his gaze is on her, slowly looks up, her eyes meeting his. Confused at what he thinks he sees, Keitaro asks, "Shinobu-chan, I hadn't noticed how tall you've grown. And it's only been a week or two!"

Motoko waves her hands in front of her and replies "Uras-, uh, I mean, Sempai, you must be imagining things. I am exactly as I have been since you first met me. Perhaps it is the lack of your glasses, and the angle of the sunlight coming through the kitchen window that blurs your perception of my appearance."

Keitaro rubs the back of his head. "I suppose so. Oh, well. Hey, I noticed you have some sashimi made already. That's kinda different for breakfast, don't you think? So, what are you planning on cooking for lunch and dinner today?"

"Also sashimi, Sempai." Motoko says, smiling.

Scratching his neck, Keitaro replies, "Not that I'm complaining, but that'll be three meals in a row of sashimi. I kinda miss nice hot meals. Heck, I'd even settle for a beef bowl right now."

Grabbing a filet knife from the counter (not that she knows one kind of kitchen knife from another) Motoko rips her apron off and faces him. "You dare insinuate that my food preparation is inferior to fast-food? Shinmei-ryu no Ramen-ken! God's Cry Attack of The Instant-Noodle Blade!"

As she raises her arms over her head, the already too-tight dress belonging to the young cook splits its last seams. As she stands there, bits of cloth slipping from her body, Keitaro manages to say "Shinobu-chan!?! Since when d-did you h-have b-b-b-b-umpy-things? GACK!"

Blood spurts out his nose and Keitaro collapses backwards through the door to the dining room, his right foot sticking through the doorway, twitching slightly.

Motoko, her face blushing three shades of red, grabs several kitchen towels to cover herself as she rushes out the back door, heading for the stairs to the Tea Shop. She pauses to glance at Keitaro for a moment and thinks, _(It was definitely not a good idea to forego wearing my bands today.)_ Daring, she rushes over to the dropped apron, takes his glasses out of the pocket, and places them on his face before again heading for the door.

_(Oh, and just in case he can hear me.) _Motoko says in a stage whisper, "Ahwhooo! I think I may have inadvertently wet my feminine undergarment!"

**Daybreak**

Reaching the Tea Shop, Motoko beats on the door until Haruka lets her in. "Well, that took less time than I thought it would. So, decided to take an early morning dip in the hot springs before starting the day, Motoko?" she says, her cigarette in her lips.

"Uh, that is not exactly what transpired, Haruka-san. But, now is not the time to discuss the matter. I must assist Shinobu-chan in recovering from her incident, so that she may resume her duties."

"Ah. I take it being a cook isn't as easy as it seems."

"Cooking is the least of my worries, Haruka-san." Motoko says, grabbing a robe and kneeling beside Shinobu's futon. Gently, she bends near to the young cook's ear and whispers something, getting an instant response from the girl.

Shinobu leaps up and over Motoko, grabs a bag, fills it from the refrigerator, tosses hers slippers to land near the door, and jumps into her shoes, all in one swift movement. In seconds, she is out the door and racing up the stairs to Hinata-sou.

Haruka, her mouth open and her cigarette dangling from her lips, looks over at Motoko with a questioning eye. "Do I even want to know what you whispered to Shinobu?"

Motoko, blushing three shades of red, replies "I merely informed her that 'Sempai' is unconscious on the kitchen floor, having believed he just saw her almost naked."

Holding back a laugh, Haruka nods. "Well, if that doesn't motivate Shinobu, nothing will. The chance to be the one looking into his eyes when he wakes up from one of his attacks is too good for her to, …wait a sec! What did you mean, 'he just saw her _almost_ naked'?"

Blushing an additional shade, Motoko says, "Ah, perhaps a cup of tea is in order before I relate what happened up there."

Haruka, taking Motoko by the arm, says "Well, let's get that cup brewing! I think I'm gonna like this story!" A muted giggle escapes Haruka's mouth.

"This is gonna be good. Sake for everybody!" Kitsune says from right behind Motoko, who yelps, trips over a futon, lands face-first only to come eye-to-eye with everyone's favorite hot springs turtle.

Tama-chan, tiny hearts fluttering around her head, says "Myuh myuh, myuh!"

"T-T-T-T-TURTLE! TURTLE! TURTLE! TURTLE! TURT……" Motoko leaps up, forgetting her towels as she attempts to elude the flying shell-cased demon. Nearly naked, she slams into a support beam, her arms and legs wrapping around it. As she slowly slides to the ground, Tama-chan waves a flipper and flies out the window. "Myuh!"

Mumbling, Motoko raises one fist into the air as she lies on her back, "One day, that elusive, definitely audacious, insolent, high-roller of a turtle will meet her fate!"

Naru looks down at Motoko, a vein throbbing on her temple as she smiles sweetly. "So, just how much did Keitaro get to see of you this morning, Motoko?" Naru clenches her right hand into a fist.

"It was an accident, I swear, Naru-san! I didn't, that is, I wasn't…Oh, heck!" Motoko whimpers.

Mutsumi, her hands caressing a melon, "Oh dear, did you give Kei-kun a free shot?"

"Are free-shots yummy?" Su asks, poking Motoko with a stick. "And ya betters get up, Motokos. Narus is looking kinda scary right now."

"Sake, sake!" Kitsune says.

Outside the Tea Shop, the sounds of furniture tipping over in the apartment are almost drowned out by the yelps, yells, and laughter of the girls inside. From outside, Haruka can be herad saying, "Crazy kids."


	14. Chapter 14 Guilt Trip

**Love Hina – Ronin Rescue**

_Naru looks down at Motoko, a vein throbbing on her temple as she smiles sweetly. "So, just how much did Keitaro get to see of you this morning, Motoko?" Naru clenches her right hand into a fist._

"_It was an accident, I swear, Naru-san! I didn't, that is, I wasn't…Oh, heck!" Motoko whimpers._

_Mutsumi, her hands caressing a melon, "Oh dear, did you give Kei-kun a free shot?"_

"_Are free-shots yummy?" Su asks, poking Motoko with a stick. "And ya betters get up, Motokos. Narus is looking kinda scary right now."_

"_Sake, sake!" Kitsune says._

_Outside the Tea Shop, the sounds of furniture tipping over in the apartment are almost drowned out by the yelps, yells, and laughter of the girls inside. From outside, Haruka can be heard saying, "Crazy kids." _

**Chapter Fourteen – Guilt trip**

**Monday morning at Hinata-sou**

Shinobu, having recovered from that mornings' fright, rushes up to the inn and heads directly for the kitchen. There, she finds Keitaro still on the floor with a loopy smile on his face. Kneeling beside him, she sets her bag down and takes a cloth to wipe the dried blood from his face. Taking what little victories she can, Shinobu thinks _(S-Sempai bled from his nose like this because he thought Motoko-sempai was ME? I don't know why, but I'm so happy!)_

Gently shaking Keitaro's shoulder, Shinobu says "Wake up Sempai, wake up."

Shaking his head, Keitaro opens his eyes. Reaching up, he finds his glasses are on his nose. "Shinobu-chan? What happened? I-, uh, that is I thought that your…" scratching his head, he sits up. "I guess I must've been seeing things. Oh, and thanks for finding my glasses for me."

"Uh, but, . . . oh. Yes Sempai. You're welcome" Shinobu bows. _(Better not ruin a good thing.) _she thinks, figuring it best to let Keitaro believe it was her all along. At that moment, the door to the kitchen opens.

Shinobu turns, and her jaw drops as a female police officer walks into the kitchen. Leaping to her feet, she looks at her hands to see the blood-covered cloth, which she quickly hides behind her back. _(Oh heck! I'm busted! How do I explain Sempai's blood on this? I'm gonna get kicked out like all the rest for sure, and poor Sempai will be all alone!)_

"M-m-may I h-help you, officer?" Shinobu squeaks, fear evident in her voice.

Yasumiko pauses, her hand still on the door handle. _(What the??? Five minutes ago, Aoyama-san was here pretending to be Maehara-san. Now, Maehara-san is here holding a bloody rag, and Aoyama-san is gone.)_ "Uh, pardon me. I am the police officer assigned to Mr. Urashima by the courts. I am here to ensure that no violation of the court-issued restraining order occurs. I take it that you are Shinobu Maehara-san, the cook and laundry specialist listed on the restraining order?"

Shinobu nods. Keitaro looks back and forth from Shinobu to Yasumiko and back. "Uh, excuse me, but, didn't you two already meet earlier?"

Yasumiko replies, "No, Urashima-san, this young lady and I have never met formally." Looking at Shinobu, she continues, "However, if you think back, I am the officer that initially responded to the altercation of two weeks past between Mr. Urashima, yourself, and the other former residents of Hinata-sou."

Shinobu gasps. "Aaauuuuu! Y-you were the one?" _(I'm really done for!)_

Yasumiko nods. "Yes, Maehara-san. Now, I must excuse myself. I have duties to perform at my station. I shall return this evening to check on Urashima-san. Please take care of Kei while I am gone." She waves, half-saluting as she winks at Keitaro, who totally doesn't get what's going on.

Shinobu wonders what Sergeant Murayama meant by that wink as she struggles over the words she used on the way out the door. _'Please take care of Kei while I am gone'_. _(Kei?)_

Keitaro, clueless as usual, shrugs his shoulders and continues to assist Shinobu in preparing breakfast. _(Why is she cooking eggs when we already have sashimi in the dining room?)_

**Monday about noon**

After having enjoyed his first cooked breakfast in two weeks, Keitaro helps Shinobu in a trip to the market to restock the kitchen. He laughingly takes Shinobu's berating of him for loading up on cup noodles and take-out beef bowls for the last two weeks, until he notices the sad look on her face. His compassionate side always ready, even when it gets him into trouble, Keitaro asks "Shinobu-chan, is something bothering you?"

Shinobu, looking at the ground in front of her as she carries two bags of groceries, slows as she answers: "W-well, Sempai, it's just that, when you first came to us at Hinata-sou, the only food the others let me give you to eat was cup noodles. It . . . it's just hard for me to see you eating that again, now that we've all gotten to know each other. I always felt guilty cooking back then and you were forced to eat instant noodles." Shinobu shudders at the memory. She looks up at her Sempai and sees his face looking away from her slightly.

Keitaro looks down as he slows his pace to match hers, "Shinobu-chan, I was eating cup noodles as a snack long before I ever met any of you. I didn't mind, I kinda like them." He lies, remembering how lonely he was back then, not being able to socialize with his tenants and forced to eat over-salted cup noodles, while the girls sat down together for their meals.

Shinobu stares wide-eyed. "But, Sempai, you must eat better! Even I can see that you've lost weight. Please?" the young cook asks, nearly begging Keitaro with her eyes.

Looking kindly at her, Keitaro nods his head, "Alright. I promise, I'll eat better. Especially now that you're back to help remind me." He gives her his smile again, and Shinobu grins back.

Reaching the Tea House, Keitaro looks over at it and pauses a moment before continuing up the steps to Hinata _(I promised Haruka that I'd stay away from the Tea House for a few weeks, but I wish she'd tell me why. Or at least come by more often and just talk. But, I guess it's the busy season, with summer winding down, and she doesn't have a lot of free time. I'd only get in the way of her customers if I went inside.)_

Shinobu notices the look Keitaro spares for the Tea House and is silent as they finish the climb up the hill. _(Does Sempai know that Haruka-san is letting us stay in the apartment?)_

After helping her put the fresh groceries away, the two of them share some tea before they get on with their chores; Shinobu with laundry and preparing dinner, Keitaro with general maintenance and studying. Over their tea, Keitaro asks Shinobu "Have you, I mean, do you see much of the others?"

Without giving away the fact that Haruka is putting them up in the Tea House Apartment, she replies slowly, "Yes, Sempai. I actually see them every day."

Keitaro's face turns slightly pale, "You do? H-how is everyone else doing? Are they… are you all angry at me for what happened?" he asks looking down at his tea cup.

Shinobu's head snaps up at this question. "Sempai?"

Keitaro, still with his face down, continues, "It's my fault you all had to leave. I tried to say to the lawyer and the judge that everything was all just in good fun, but they didn't believe me. I told them that it was always my fault, and I deserved everything that happened to me since I came to Hinata-sou. I mean," Shinobu watches as Keitaro stumble through his thoughts, "everything the others always said about me must be true, or they wouldn't have treated me like they did. I tried so hard, but…but I failed you all." Keitaro grows silent.

Shinobu is nearly brought to tears at Keitaro's statement. "Sempai! No, don't say that! None of us believe that any of this is your fault! I know I don't blame you!" Shinobu is tempted to pat Keitaro's hand, but she is unable to make her hands move away from her own tea.

Shaking his head slowly, "I don't know, Shinobu-chan. I just don't know anymore. Haruka and Yaya-chan keep trying to tell me the same thing. But, I'm here, and all of you aren't. How else am I supposed to feel?"

Unable to come up with a good answer, Shinobu pours more tea for the two of them. After a few minutes of silence, Keitaro shrugs his shoulders and gives the young cook a slight smile, "Well, guess I can't change the past, anyways. I just have to live with it."

Setting his cup down, he thanks Shinobu for the tea. "My pleasure, Sempai! It, it was nice to talk with you again."

Keitaro excuses himself. "I have to do some cleaning, Shinobu-chan. Although, it's not as hard with no one…." His voice trails off as he shrugs his shoulders again, "Well, let's just say with cram school starting in a few weeks, I'll be happy to be busy again."

Keitaro sighs as he looks at the ceiling, as if to peer through the wood to the floors above. "I really don't think I have much of a chance now, though. I'm sorry, Narusegawa." he whispers to himself.

Shinobu looks at him and asks "What was that, Sempai?"

"Nothing, Shinobu-chan. Nothing. Be sure to call me for dinner so we can eat before you have to leave." Keitaro says as he heads towards the changing room to get his cleaning tools. Shinobu watches him walk away, having heard his whispered comment, and thinks _(Poor Sempai, he's worried about us, what we think about him, and school, too. Without Naru-sempai, he doesn't think he can do it anymore.)_ Cleaning up the kitchen, Shinobu goes to Keitaro's room and collects his clothes to wash everything. Reaching the laundry room, she places the items in the first two washers and starts them. She is surprised to find the third washer is full of a pile of oddly-colored clothing. Pulling it out, she separates it all on the sorting table, recognizing most of it as her Sempai's clothes, albeit not quite the color the originally were.

Shinobu stares at the vaguely pinkish/purplish/mixed-fruit colored clothing in front of her. "How in the world did this happen?" Shrugging, she places the clothing in the dryer and goes about her general dusting and cleaning chores.

"And what is Sempai going to wear for the rest of the day? Only the stuff from that washer will be dry today." she wonders as she opens the broom closet and gets her cleaning and dusting equipment. In spite of herself, Shinobu smiles at the thought of Keitaro wearing pink and lavender "I guess it would go with his eyes, kind of." She snickers, before pinching herself for thinking like that about her Sempai. Ending in the kitchen, she prepares a hot meal with extra helpings of Keitaro's favorite pork fried rice and some miso soup.

Looking at the clock, she rushes to find Keitaro in the boiler room to tell him it is time for her to leave, but that she'll be back to make breakfast in the morning. "With school starting next week, Sempai, I can only just make it here in time to serve breakfast in the mornings. I'll come by after school to do what I can before I have to leave, but I will prepare something for you to eat before I go. You promised me you would eat better, remember?" she looks at Keitaro with her hands on her hips.

Keitaro wipes the grease from his hands onto a rag. "I appreciate it, Shinobu-chan. Don't worry, I promised I'd eat better, and there is no way I'll pass up a chance to eat a meal you've prepared." Looking at the rag, Keitaro thinks for a moment "I… I know you probably aren't allowed to, but it would be nice if you could pass on to the others that I asked about them. I mean, that is to say . ."

Shinobu puts a small hand up in front of her "Sempai, I don't care what the court said about the others, but as far as I am concerned, I still work for you. If you ask me to pass along information, I will consider it totally within the terms I agreed to when you let me become the cook here." She smiles at Keitaro. "Besides, I ain't gonna tell anyone else if you don't, so that's that!"

Breathing a sigh, Keitaro bows to the young cook. "Thank you, Shinobu-chan, thank you. Just let them know I'm worried about them, and I was asking how they are and all." He gives her one of his smiles, and any doubts Shinobu had about allowing contact between Keitaro and the girls through her vanish like a hot springs mist. "Hai! I shall let them know, Sempai. I have to run, I'll see you tomorrow!"

She waves as the heads out the door, catching the wave Keitaro aims at her as she passes into the sunlight. Feeling better than she has since this whole ordeal started, Shinobu hums a little tune to herself as she rounds the corner of the dorm and heads for the stairs down to the Tea House. Thinking back to their earlier conversation, Shinobu freezes as she reaches nears the bottom of the stairs to the Tea House. "Yaya-chan? Who in the world is Yaya-chan?"

**Late Monday afternoon**

After finishing with the boiler room, Keitaro gives the hot springs a cursory cleaning. Even though no one has used it, he still tries to keep it in fair order. Habit, ingrained into him over the last several months whispers at him that it is dangerous. _(But),_ he thinks, _(That's the past, now. I guess it wouldn't hurt to use the springs once and a while)._

Finishing his chores, Keitaro heads for the kitchen to check on the meal Shinobu prepared. Saying a few words of thanks for the cook, he digs into a large serving of pork fried rice and a bowl of miso soup. Sitting back, he stretches, his stomach feeling content for the first time in days. Setting the leftovers in the refrigerator, Keitaro decides to relax in the hot springs.

Changing into a towel, he makes his way from the changing room to the bathing area. Settling into the warm water, Keitaro revels at the muscle-relaxing heat. He is so relaxed he fails to hear someone come in to the dorm.

Leaned back, his eyes closed and his glasses set on the edge of the springs, Keitaro nearly jumps out of his skin when a voice beside him asks "Would you like me to scrub your back, Kei-kun?"

The girls, helping Haruka with customers at the Tea House, turn in the direction of the dorm when they hear what sounds like a terrified scream, sounding uncomfortably like Keitaro when he would accidentally find himself in a situation where he would have ended up being launched across the city.

Motoko grips her sword and growls "Urashima! You vile, lecherous, perverted male!" Looking around, the sword maiden blushes at the stares she is getting from the Tea House patrons. She bow "Uh, excuse me, force of habit." Everyone continues to stare at Motoko, while Kitsune sidles up to her and says "Force o' habit, or instinct?"

Back at the dorm, Keitaro is rapidly backpedalling from the figure that is following him around the hot springs. "M-Magistrate? Wh-what are you doing here?" He asks, one hand making sure his towel stays on, the other searching the sides of the hot springs for his glasses as he backs away from the older woman.

Following Keitaro, the Magistrate says "Kei-kun, did I not tell you that my name is Nasake Oshiro? Are you trying to say you've forgotten me, already? And what about my nickname? I'm shocked and saddened." She says, although the pouting smile on her face says otherwise.

The young manager, still retreating, tries to defuse the situation "Uh, er, that is, I mean, No! I didn't forget! You're, you're" _(think, Keitaro, think, or you're a dead man. What was it about her that is familiar? What was . .oh, right! She acts like Kanako. Kanako! So, her nickname, what was it? Kanako . . Kaneko . . . Koneko, that's it! Koneko!)_ "Koneko! You're Koneko!" he nearly yelps in an effort to avoid her wrath.

A huge smile spreads across Koneko's face as she licks her lips. "Why, Kei-kun! You remembered! How sweet! I knew that I was right when I decided you are such a thoughtful young man." She continues to follow the frightened manager.

Finding his glasses, Keitaro puts them on and promptly trips backwards, blood spurting from his nose.

Naru, preparing glasses of tea for some customers, squeezes the cups in her hands as she balls her fists. Her eyes glowing, she turns and yells "Pervert!"

The old man behind Naru stares wide-eyed at the honey-haired girl, his hands out in front of him. "Whoa there, miss. All I asked was how much is the sake platter?"

Su sticks her head out of the kitchen and looks at Naru. "Seems likes Naru thinks its plays time or something, and that poor old geyser is gotta play the part of Keitaros."

"Oh, my, he looks nothing like Kei-kun. His head is as shiny as my melons!" Mutsumi notes from the other side of the Tea House.

Naru, realizing what she was about to do, and hearing the comments of her friends, blushes and excuses herself to get some cleaning equipment to take care of the broken glasses.

Koneko, staring as Keitaro bobs back to the surface of the water, pulls her towel around her. With a major blush, she says "Hmm, I thought it was a bit cool for being in a hot spring. Silly me, I forgot to put my towel on."

As she makes her way towards Keitaro, a voice calls to her. "Magistrate! What may I ask are you doing here?" Yasumiko asks, her arms crossed over her uniformed chest as she stands at the door of the changing room. Koneko freezes in her tracks, and slowly turns her head in the direction of the police officer. Seeing who it is, she relaxes a bit "Ah, Officer Murayama, how nice to see you again. I . . wait a minute! What are YOU doing here?" the older woman asks, having expected to vacation in private at the former hot springs inn.

Yasumiko walks over to the edge near Keitaro and, bending down, grabs him under the shoulders and pulls him from the water. Propping him against a boulder, Yasumiko turns back to Koneko "I am the police officer assigned to ensure compliance with the court's restraining order. And, I am on old friend of Keitaro. So, my mission here is two-fold. Ensure Keitaro's well-being and keep YOU away from HIM."

Feigning innocence, Koneko places her hand on her chest "Why, I have nothing but the utmost respect for Kei-kun, I mean, Mr. Urashima! Whatever would make you think he needs to be protected from me?"

Yasumiko laughs "Well, maybe you're right. Your reputation precedes you, Magistrate. Pushing forty, and scaring off every man you get close to. I have a feeling Keitaro can handle himself where you are concerned, but, I'll be around just to make sure." She says sweetly, all the while sounding like a cat about to strike.

Koneko smiles, not at all in a friendly manner, and replies "Ah, I will have you know I am not pushing forty! Indeed! I, uh, I am not yet twenty-nine, just so you know."

Harrumphing, Yasumiko snickers "Riiight! And I'm straight as a ruler! Maybe it's not Keitaro who should watch out for you, huh?"

Keitaro moans, and opens his eyes. Yasumiko kneels and places her hand on his shoulder "Hey, you awake Kei? I think it might be better if you head back inside right now. Looks like you need to prepare a room for your guest." She says, indicating with her thumb the older woman still standing in the hot springs.

Koneko tosses her head and heads for a seating rock, making herself comfortable. "I told you, Keitaro, that I would come over to spend a bit of vacation time. I suppose I can spare a week before I need to get back to work. Please take care of me, okay?" she smiles wickedly as she makes to open her towel.

Keitaro yelps, grabs his nose and runs into the changing room. Yasumiko looks at Koneko and smiles sweetly. Blowing the older woman a kiss, she turns as Koneko's jaw drops, and walks into the dorm. _(I think the next week is going to be interesting, what with the plans Haruka told me the girls are working on and having the Magistrate around. They'd just better make sure she doesn't see them, or that might really ruin things, for them, and for Kei.)_


End file.
